Cherokeelion

The moodiness you describe loving is very close to me as well... I would stay outside to watch thunderstorms roll in and feel the power of the approching storm. I sometimes feel as life is one big storm lately.

That picture was what drew my ex and I together, we also now have a child... her first.

You fit that picture very well. I have a powerful picture of a Cherokee woman and her child against a backdrop of a thunderstorm on my wall. My Grandfather is a Cherokee Medicine Man... and his Medicine stick is next to that picture.

You are my sisters age... and I remember myself at 30, trust me when I say time does heal things.

I know how that feels... I love to see friends and family uplifted by something I can do for them. No matter how small.

You have the gift of description in your writing.... its almost as if I can picture what you write. My mental pic of you right now is of a woman in a storm, not a bad one but full of complexities.

So you had some of the same reasons to be here too. It is true that expressing yourself through writing feels like a release and a temporary balm for the soul.

Thats the reason I'm on this site... and I am finding solace in poetry such as yours.

Permanent? My heart screams at that thought right now... who really knows. She needs space so thats what shes going to get... as tough as that is to do.

I'll be ok, it's just going to take time. I don't expect a reconciliation or anything like that, there was too much hurt between both of us.

I said Goodbye to her on Thursday evening... so it's very fresh.

No, I don't write... not because I don't like to but because I am limited for time. I like to read more that to write. Poetry is a thoughtful expression of a persons mind if done well and I enjoy the insight into that persons mind.

My longing comes from a desire to find peace in a world that is constantly in flux. I am juggling so many things that something needs to drop. It also stems from decisions I made earlier in life that affect me now. I also long for the woman I love who is now gone, a reality that is fresh and tough to accept.

The heart is complex and rules my world. Sometimes I wish that wasn't so but not often.

Longing... thats a feeling I am much too closely associated with these days too.

Well, you're very good at it. I have a hard time rhyming myself... so good poetry is nice to read.

Beyond the obvious guessing that I could do....

What made you write this poem?

BTW... the trees always look very pretty with that ice on them. Clean, crisp and cold air is a fond memory for me.

I'm from Minnesota, but I think I'm getting spoiled by California. Brr.

Its a short list for me. Personality... Personality... and Personality. A woman with wit and brains has my attention far faster than a "looker" would. Why? Simply because intelligence by itself is sexy to me.

Its cold here tonight... my heaters putting in some overtime.

Hello... nice poem. By the way, you are from a beautiful part of this country. I am south of you a ways but I know your area well.

The last four months have been the weirdest ones of my life, I think. My ex-girlfriend left me because she felt lonely and thought I didn't love her the way I do. In fairness, she did warn me of how she felt and that another man was giving her the attention she craved from me.

At the time I was a knucklehead who put our relationship on the back burner while I tried to fight multiple fires on other fronts... taking her for granted. It was only after she left that I realised she was the foundation of my life, she was what grounded me.

It took only several days to see how much of a mistake I had made and I spent some time absorbing my stupidity in how I hurt her. She had gone to this other man and he gave her some of what she was missing. To tell you all that has happened since then would fill a small book; shes confused, I'm confused...

She is disabled, and so the connection with who is close to her is more profound since that person is taking care of her intimately as well as emotionally. Right now shes gone back to the other man to see if thats where she wants to be after several back and forth episodes between myself and him. She has told me she needs to stop being angry with me and that she feels that I deserve some time alone for wrecking what we had. She has also told me she feels very angry at me for making her feel like she had no choice but to find someone else she could rely on before I dumped her... which would never have happened, but its how she felt. I honestly get the picture shes torn between loving me, a man who hurt her and this new man... who she doesnt know very well yet.

I am beside myself with 20/20 hindsight and guilt at what I know to be true. I am also agonising over the fact that I know she still loves me but doesnt want to go back to the way it was between us.

I have told her that, in time, with counseling and my own actions she will see that I am serious about wanting to save Us and our family. I am posting here because I need an outlet to vent on this. I do not want to do the wrong things anymore, we have a wonderful little girl together and just being away from both of them is killing me inside... even though I know the best thing, I think, is to give her the space and time to figure things out. It is a helpless feeling knowing that your track record is a major player in how the future is shaped... and that the only real thing that can fix some things is time, and love. I am not a patient man... so this is hard. I feel like this ](*,) when I try some days. Does anyone have any advice?