Regretfulman

This isn't being vindictive, it's being true to yourself, which is the only person that matters when you have been dumped. who is going to take care of you? Do you think your ex can help you heal? Absolutely not, so you must take care of yourself, and the best way to do it is by stopping all contact, it helps you heal and sends a message to the ex that you are moving on and you arent waiting for them, you are in control, not them

3 Days? Thats All It Took? How Old Are You Guys? Usually No Contact Takes Several Weeks, Even Many Months To Finally Work. If You Are Younger I Guess I Can Understand, But For People 21 And Over, It Takes Time For The Nc To Sink In

The Exes Always Come Back In Some Capacity, Lets Face It, Curiosity Always Kills The Cat, And They Come Back. They Will Disguise The True Reason For Coming Back, Of Course, Using The Typical "im Just Calling To See How You Are", And Thats A Big Lie. Most The Time When An Ex Calls They Are Hoping To Keep In Touch With You In Case The New Person Falls Through, But Don't Get Suckered, Show Them That You Are Worth More Then That, And Stick With The No Contact, It Will Drive Them Crazy

Hey the_girl20, what is your story? Do you now want your ex back or what? share the story with us please

My story is long, but I used to do all the typical stuff that anyone who is dumped does, but I smartened up and decided to move on, and once I had her out of my mind, she started to show up again, like magic.

Hey, its never too late to reignite the flame, NC is powerful, and once you finally decide to use it, it won't matter what you did in the past, when you are apart, people tend to remember the good time you had, not the bad times. It is never too late, trust me

Glad to see you guys agree, stay strong and stay focused, let the ex see what she is missing, trust me, it will pay off someday.

The best thing you can do when someone dumps you is move on. I know it's so very hard to do, but you must force yourself to do it. You will never succeed in winning your ex back by begging, pleading, crying, manipulating, etc. The only logical thing to do is forget them as best you can, take care of yourself, treat yourself, try to have fun, surround yourself with good people, and try to talk to new people. Do whatever it takes to get your mind off that person who hurt you. No contact is not an option, it is mandatory in almost every case, very few exceptions. Your ex will be puzzled as to why you stopped calling or e-mailing, they will miss you, and they will think about you more and more, trust me. Ignoring them will not make them forget you, it will make you a bigger thought in their minds, its basic psychology. If there is any hope of the 2 of you getting back together, it will only come once NC has been established for an extended period. Your ex will not forget you, he/she will always remember you, but if you push them and bug them they will run further away from you. The best part about NC is that after enough time has passed, you may find yourself totally over your ex, then one day they will call you looking to get back together, and you will have no desire to even speak to them, it's really the sweetest revenge. And for those of us who have an ex who is dating someone new since the breakup, don't worry yourself about that either. No contact is still the way to go, never settle for being a friend, or a fallback guy, you deserve to be number one, not number 2. Don't be a cushion for your ex, don't talk to them, let them enjoy the new person in their lives. Maybe they will think twice once you decide to exit their life for good, and the new person might not look so hot anymore. It may take some time though, in most cases your ex will enjoy the new person, but guess what? Every relationship has a "honeymoon" stage, where everything is perfect and good and the person you are with seems like "the one". Well this stage doesn't last very long, and soon the grass isn't so green on the other side. This is when you have your best chance at having the ex come back to you, but you must be practicing No contact all along for it to work. People, all it takes is one fight sometimes between the ex and the new person, to send them running back to you, but never take them back right away, always wait, and don't seem eager to get back. There is always a good chance at getting back together with an ex, always. You just have to play your cards right, but I will say that NC must be first used as a method of healing for yourself, because you never know the future, the best thing for anyone to do after a breakup is to move on and heal, and if you get a second chance in the future great, and if u are healed then heck, you won't even want a second chance at all. Goodluck to everyone, life does go on, and you can be happy, just think positive and follow my advice!!!

Very very true, my ex broke up with me and immediately went out with someone else, 3 weeks later she is calling him her boyfriend. no way she can just jump right into something serious after 1 year with me. Funny thing is, she wouldn't meet with me after the breakup cuz she said it wouldn't be fair to the new guy, but she could call me every week and talk, what non-sense. Anyways, I'm sure she also made the new guy seem "too good to be true". Who commits to someone new after 3 weeks of breaking up with someone else? I think once the honeymoon stage is through, she will be wanting me back, its basic psychology.

Im just afraid that this new guy will turn into more then it already is, and if i wait i may lose my chance to tell her how i feel forever. I guess my only hope is to wait out the new guy, hope that it fails and she calls me and misses me, i know she already does, after all, she is the one initiating most of our contact, and she told me she misses me, thinks of me, and cares deeply for me. She is the one, it seems, that can't let go of me, why must she keep in touch with me? there has to be more of a reason then just wanting to be friends, i think thats just an excuse.

The fact remains, she is with another man now, granted it is a new realtionship, but it's still there, and i think i should respect it. She is unwilling to meet me and talk, and there is no way I can say those words unless it's face to face, not over the phone. I'm so confused, this really really hurts, knowing that im the cause of all this.

thanks for your reply, i see where you are coming from totally. Some people say i should tell her before its too late, others think it won't accomplish anything. I personally think I should tell her soon, but in person, and right now she is avoiding seeing me in person. I can't tell her over the phone, that would be too weird. If she would meet me, I would tell her, then i could leave her to herself to think and maybe she would consider things more thoroughly. But i think i need to get this off my chest, its killing me holding it inside like this.

Long Story Short

We Dated 11 Months

She Loved Me, I Didnt Love Her Back

She Wanted To Be My Girlfriend, I Brushed It Off

I Met Her Family, She Didn't Meet Mine

We Had Fun But Constantly Fought Over The Committment Issue

Finally I Decide To Ask Her To Be With Me, She Dumps Me One Week Later

Its Been 6 Weeks, She Broke Nc, And She Has 3 Times To Talk As Friends. She Wants To Stay In Touch, But She Is Seeing Someone New, What Should I Do? Should I Finally Confess That I Love Her? Will It Make A Difference Since I Never Told Her Before? Or Should I Wait And See What Happens With The New Guy And Stick To Nc? Please Help Me

Honestly i think she is seeing someone, how happy she is is another story. I know she cares more about me then him, its only been 1 month for them, we dated 11 months. I just wonder if the "i love you" is enough to change the situation, or if it isnt, is it enough to make her think deeply about what she wants, me or him. She is a stable person, just highly emotional, and she hates being alone, so thats why i think this guy is simply a distraction from me

This girl is notorious for giving mixed signals, she is very emotional herself, and is always guarded. A few people even told me that she may not even really be dating anyone, it could just be a game to make me jealous. Some think she is punishing me for my rejection of her so many times. I know she still loves me, i can hear it in her voice, but i dont know if its too late or what, maybe those 3 words would change everything, after all it was the main thing missing for 11 months

But The Bottom Line From Your Point Of View Is That I Need To Let Her Know How I Feel, Correct? You Dont Think Its Too Late To Do That? Or Do You Feel The Longer I Wait, The Less Likely It Is To Make A Difference, Plus She Will Get In Deeper With The New Guy

i already asked her to meet me and talk, she said she is fine with it eventually, but not now cuz its too early to do that. She also said her new man wouldn't like it if he knew we were out, which is understandable. I agree those words should only be said in person, so maybe my best plan is to just wait until she is ready to meet me in person and then tell her how i feel, and then just leave her be, whatever happens happens, at least i know i got it off my chest.

here are my options:

1. tell her i love her and walk away

2. walk away now and see what happens down the line

I'm 28, and she is 26, she told me she loved me for the first time after 5 months of dating, we dated for 11 months total. She would tell me she loved me at least once a month, i would give anything to go back in time to one of those moments and say it back to her

Do You Honestly Feel That If I Said Those 3 Words That She Would Give Us Some More Thought? I Know She Would Like To Hear Them, Any Woman Would, But I Dont Want To Just Give Her An Ego Boost. Im Sure Whatever She Thinks, She Will Not Let Me Know Her True Feelings At First, She Is Very Guarded, Im Confused

By The Way, Thanks So Much For All Your Input, It's Much Appreciated

There is still a good chance she loves me now, but i honestly feel she is trying to push me away romantically, but she clings on to me in a friendly way, i dont see my words making a difference for now, but maybe she will store them in her head and remember me for the future

here are some positive signs:

she says she misses me, thinks of me, and cares for me

she contacted me first, and called 2 other times

she left a one minute voicemail for me immediately after work last week

she wants to be my friend and says she doesnt want goodbye

she said she doesnt see herself with me "at this time", maybe she is letting me know there is a chance soon, i dont know

I think i have loved her for at least a few months, we broke up 6 weeks ago, she initiated first contact after 3 weeks, then i called her but we got into a fight, 11 days later she called me, which was last night, and we fought, and i apologized for some things i said to her today, and she said she understands

She calls him her boyfriend, but i dont know how true that is, she left me a voicemail last week that was almost a minute long, and i had a female friend of mine listen to it, and she told me "oh ya, she wants you back, you can tell by the tone of her voice", so who knows, like i said her actions are speaking louder then her words are