Regretfulman

i agree with all your posts, but i will say that i've seen the ex come back so many times its crazy. it would be nice if she did come back sometime, but of course its not guaranteed. But with my ex, she has a history of going back to old boyfriends, it's called "recycling". Everyone's case is different, but i feel that once the honeymoon stage is over, thats when they truly decide to remain with the new person or consider someone else, usually an ex. Another thing is, she jumped right into this new relationship, and let me tell you rebounds rarely ever work. Will she come back to me? maybe or maybe not, time will tell, im just guessing based on the situations i've seen and been through. Like i said earlier, my one ex got married and a few years later still wants me back, its silly, but psychology is complicated.

I Dont Agree, At Some Point You Relax And Things Cool Down, You Get Bored, And Then The True Test Of Love Comes In

I heard it was 3 months, but its basically when you let your guard down and get comfortable and let your true colors show. this is when the other person sees the real you and will either stay or run, lol

Ok, this is the perfect time for me to be writing this, I'm finally cooling off from emotions stemming from finding out my ex is seeing someone new. It's the holiday season and that just makes it so much more difficult, especially since we were together last year at this time. Obviously I care deeply for my ex and would love a second chance to be with her. I have finally realized that even though she is with someone else, it makes no sense to sit and be upset.

Judging from past experience the ex always returns, and usually for more then friendship. I had an ex once who dumped me, was engaged 8 months later, got married a few months after that, and a few months into the marriage she was coming back to me again. Today she is going through a divorce and wants me back. I've been long over this girl so all i do is smile, knowing that she now realizes what she lost out on.

My current ex dumped me and went right to a new guy, and it hurts. She wants to be friends and calls me, emails me, and instant messages me all the time. She claims to be happy with the new guy, and i believe it. They have only dated for 1 month, they are still in the early "honeymoon" stage.

One thing we must understand is that a relationship is all fun and games in the beginning, but soon the true colors come out and thats when the tough times come. My ex and I were happy for awhile too, then after about 6 weeks she turned into a different person, her true self. It is at this time of change, that most relationships fizzle out. Right now i'm banking on the fact that 2 things will happen.

1. She will miss me during no contact and realize how much i meant to her

2. She will eventually end up fighting with the new guy, see the grass isn't greener, and then want me back.

I, however, am not holding out hope that this happens, i will do NC and get over her, then once im healed, if she does come back, i will be able to make a better decision as to whether i want to truly go back to her. So you see, it does no good to wonder or worry if your ex is with someone new, because 90% of new relationships end, and once the honeymoon stage is over, thats when it usually happens. There is always a chance people, but always always look out for yourself first!!

i've decided not to tell her how i feel afterall, i think my best bet is just to walk away and do NC. I know this girl very well, and i'm sure she will be coming back to me once she realizes the grass is not greener on the other side. When she does come back, ill hopefully be over her and that will be that

ya i know, i just wish she would reconsider before things get too serious with her new man, i dont want to throw away what we had together just because i was too stubborn to tell my feelings

its a simple case of not knowing what i had till it was gone, and now i regret it. People deserve second chances in life to make things right, and if the main thing missing from our relationship was love from my end, then the problem can be fixed very easily now, since i realize how i feel.

I appreciate your advice. I do have one more thing to say, i know this girl very well, and i know that she cannot just let me go. By doing NC i will force her to analyze the situation and make a decision. By staying in contact with her, she isnt forced to do anything. Right now she can relax knowing she has the new guy and me on the back burner, but if i take away that back burner she will begin to think, thats my plan. But ultimately the NC will be for healing purposes, and hopefully i won't even want her when she comes crying back to me

ok kellbell, i appreciate your take on this situation, but i do think there is a good chance at getting back together in the future, but im not going to wait for it anymore. This girl has a hard time leaving people she cares about. My view is the new guy is simply a distraction, eventually the relationship will fizzle out and im sure she will be crawling back. But again, im not waiting, and ive decided to not show her my feelings afterall. She doesnt deserve it right now. Once she sees the grass isnt any greener on the other side, she will be back, no doubts, hopefully i will be there to reject her in the final round, because i won't care anymore, thats how the story always ends, poetic justice

More advice needed, lol

The Plan Is:

1. Ask Her To Meet Me Cuz I Have Something Important To Say

2. If She Meets Me I Will Tell Her How I Feel And See What She Feels

3. I Walk Away And Let Her Come To Me After That

I Do Want Her More Then Anything, And Yes I Am Afraid To Tell Her I Love Her, Especially Over The Phone. If She Would Meet Me I Would Gladly Tell Her Everything, Until She Does, I Will Not Tell Her Those 3 Words

One Thing She Said To Me A Few Weeks Ago Was That I Was Not The Victim Here. She Said "how Many Times Did I Say I Loved You, And You Said Nothing Back" "how Many Time Did I Tell You I Wanted To Be With You, And You Said No", She Basically Told Me That I Rejected Her, And All She Did Was Walk Away Where She Was Not Wanted. I Know She Still Wants Me, But She Cant Handle Another Rejection From Me. I Honestly Think I Am The One Who Needs To Chase Her To Prove To Her I Am Genuine For Once

I Am Afraid Of Hearing Rejection, But Im More Afraid Of Hearing Her Tell Me Some Bs Story Instead Of Her True Feelings. She Is Too Proud To Tell Them To Me, Thats The Dilemma. One Thing That Sticks In My Mind Is That 4 Days Before She Dumped Me She Told Me She Loved Me, And She Meant It. You Dont Stop Loving Someone In 4 Days, And Certainly Not 7 Weeks Either

You Are Right, Before I Spill My Feelings I Will Ask Her What She Feels About Us. Then I Will Tell Her My Position, And Then I Will Leave. I Know She Will Cover Up Her True Feelings For Me When I Ask, Because She Is Trying To Be Done, Im Sure She Is Struggling With This, Just As I Am. I Want Her To Realize That She Shouldnt Fight How She Feels, Whatever Those Feelings May Be

bottom line is i feel that she still loves me, but is afraid, she has a new man to help herself forget me, and seeing me would just take her back to the first day of healing for her, and that would not be progress. She is fighting her urges, but she slips along the way, and sometimes i feel she cant control herself when she contacts me. honestly i feel she would brush me off no matter what i said to her, but deep down she would think. I would then walk away and leave her to herself to contemplate the situation. At least she would know how i felt and if she decided to come back, she would know there is a chance i would take her back. By not talking to her after i express my feelings, she would see im moving on and not going to wait for her. I think this combination could send her back to me, may not though, but im hoping. My plan is tell her how i feel and walk away for good, then unless she contacts me asking for a second chance, im going to ignore her, sound good?

I Will Say Something Though, Every Girl Who Listened To Her Message To Me Said The Same Thing, And I Asked Random Girls Too, Who Had No Reason To Take My Side. They All Said That You Can Hear In Her Voice How Bad She Wants You. Not Only That, The Message Was Long, One Minute Long, Thats Ridiculous Leaving A Message That Long, She Really Didnt Even Say Anything Important, She Was Obviously Bothered By The Fact That I Wasnt Talking To Her.

good advice, im just having a weak moment over here, when she calls back i will just say i wanted to talk, nothing dramatic.

she won't meet me because of the new guy, but i think the real reason is because she is afraid of feeling strongly about me. Seeing me might make her want me again, and i honestly think she is fighting her feelings, due to the fact that she thinks things will go back the way they used to be again, if we did get back together.

keep the advice coming folks

I just thought of something, i sent my ex a text message asking her to call me before she goes to sleep, whenever she finally responds to it, which could be tonight or tomorrow or whenever, she will ask me what i wanted. Then i will simply say "nevermind, nothing important, i changed my mind", im sure she will be dying to hear what i had to say. If she isn't dying to hear what i have to say, i know she doesnt care. But im sure she will want to know whats up

i dont think she is being honest with herself, all the girls i have asked said that she would not be behaving the way she is if she didnt still have serious interest in me. Why on earth would she initiate all of our talks? Why would she leave me a message right after work, for one minute? Why would she do this stuff unless she had feelings?

I honestly feel that she is playing games, sort of trying to make me wake up and learn how it feels to not have someone respond the way i want. Some have suggested she is doing this on purpose to give me a taste of my own medicine. All I know is she has contacted me several times, and seems interested in keeping up on me. When we first broke up she said we would hang out eventually, then she said after the feelings fade, and now its no because of the new man. If its ok to talk to me on the phone and IM, then whats so much different about having dinner and talking? Talking to me period is disrespectful, right? i dont see how she thinks its ok to talk to me on the phone, but to meet is not fair to the new guy. makes no sense. also, i had a few female friends listen to her 1 minute voice message, and they all agree she wants me, or at least has strong feelings towards me, they say they can hear it in her voice.

We mostly talk about stuff unrelated to "us" on instant message, but the chats are not short, usually at least 10 minutes. I asked her to meet up with me one month after we ended, to give her back some of her stuff and she said its not a good idea. I asked her again a few weeks ago, and she said it would not be right cuz she has a new man now. But earlier in the conversation she said we could hang out, but not so soon, so she is sending mixed messages.

We havent seen each other since the day of the breakup, which was 7 weeks ago. Last time we talked on the phone, she called me. She was also the one to break no contact first, after 3 weeks, but i didnt pick up her call. We talked last night on instant message, and of course she was the one who said hi to me first. she always initiates the contact first, always