Strong but confused...

A bit more info on my situation. My ex is a kind soul, but he is confused. He got out of a very bad marriage a few short years ago. He is still being bullied by his ex. And his mother is a raging b**ch. He has a good heart. He is a good father. He's at a bad place in his head. And when I got sick recently, things started to go downhill. He started to feel smothered by me. He became scared. I know he loves me. I know he cares for me. I want to know how to deal with this. I don't know that NC applies to me. He called me after 3 days of NC, jsut to see if I was ok (after my last bout with MS). What should i do?!

Help. My ex-boyfriend just called and left a message saying "he was thinking about me a lot and hoped I was doing well". He also said he didn't know if his calls were welcome or not but that if I wanted to talk, I should call him". We haven't had contact in 3 days. My question is: he has a fear of being manipulated/controlled. This stems from his troubled relationship with his mother and his ex-wife. I am neither a controller nor a manipulator. I know that he knows that I want to talk to him. I fear that, if I don't call him, he will think I'm playing some kind of game with him. And that that will drive him away. What should I do?!?

Thanks cooolsome. I guess I can live without my stuff. Maybe I was just using my stuff as an excuse to contact him. I don't know how long I can go without contacting him. I'm hoping he will see how good I was to him and his children and realize the mistake that he is making. And who knows, when, and if he comes back, there might be someone in his place... Thanks for the advice!

Hi. I have had an awful couple of weeks. I had a scary episode with my Multiple Sclerosis. My boyfriend of 9 months started showing signs of feeling suffocated - i.e. not wanting to sleep over; lending me his car for doctor's appts but not coming with me. He said the two are not related and that he is just feeling controlled/manipulated by me. The thing is these issues are things that he has experienced with his mother and his ex-wife. I was not trying to control him, or to change him. I love him - warts and all. He has 3 kids, no money (his ex gets most of it). I gave it my all. Maybe I wanted him too much. Maybe I was too good to him. I asked him a couple of days ago if he wanted to break up. He said he'd been thinking about it. I replied "well, stop thinking about it. I'll do it for you". He didn't fight me on it. He said that his view of relationships right now is not conducive to a healthy relationship. Any time we talked about it (after the break up), he said "at this time, I'm not in a good place emotionally to be in a relationship". I'm not ready to give up on us. I wrote him back saying that perhaps one day we could reconnect if we both got our heads on straight. I told him I had a tremendous amount of love for him. He hasn't replied. The thing is we work together. He has some of my things in his office, waiting for me to pick them up. I've also thought of other things I left at his place that I want back. What should I do? Do I call him to ask for those things back? Do I go to his office to pick my stuff up? (note that his office is far from mine and we don't run into each other all that often). I want him back. I agree that I should give him time. But in the meantime, I need my stuff back. What do I do? Any advice would be appreciated. PS. This is my second day of NC.