watch me

Ok, so i talked to him again, aparantly he wasn't in love. Perhaps it was just lust. However i was. He was almost in a relationship once, it would have been his first boyfriend. However he took too long to decide and the friend found someone else. So when he met me he went with his first feelings. he thought he loved me, but eventually these feelings past. I wish he did love me cause i certainly love him. Being friends shouldn't be a problem, im past denial cause i no that hope as gone .. which is good in a way. Im taking steps and will start looking for someone else. but i think love finds you .. not the other way round.

I don't know how he feels, it seems like he still has some sort of feelings, i know he is really guilty and upset that he feels he has ruined my life. I'm not sure how he would feel about me being with someone else (but tbh he's the only one for me right now) but i would hate to see him with someone. He has two friends, they are both seeing each other (also in a gay relationship) they often slag me off calling me his "little boy" and asking "whens his 13th birthday" as if im just a kid. I think they might be a reason he broke up, or at least thought the way he did. I talked to him as afriend when we broke up, and he hugged me twice but i felt love there still. I want to talk to him, but i thought i shuld give it time between both of us and i do want a valid reason. His parents don't know neither do mine, his mum isnt for him being bi although he told her he was gay but when she asked why he had seen girls she wasnt for him being bi and thught he was doing it to get at her. I am still his friend as i find it hard to hate him. we were in love, and i still am ... i tried writing stuff down but i couldn't write as i just burst into tears

Okay, well im new here a 15 year old bisexual in the Uk, and wasn't entirely sure where to put this. But well i recently got into my first gay relationship. It was two months ago we started officialy going out and almost 3 months ago that we met. My now ex boyfriend had been hurt from a relationship with a now friend and almost lost his verginity. He never told people he loved them after that, Until he met me, i came out to my friends and broke it off with my girl friend for him and we had a great time. He went away on a course for about 2 weeks and txt me and phoned me while he was away allways saying he loved me, missed me and wish i was with him. Recently nothing changed, he was just as close if not closer on a night just a week ago. We had done a lot together and were discussing sex, which was a big thing because he almost lost it to someone who didin't love him, if we had found the place and the time we would have gone for it and we both certainly wanted to just last friday. We did everything you could think of besides the one big thing. we are both still virgins. However just 2 nights ago he broke it off. unexpectadly. he told me he thought we should split because of the age (he is 17 in college im 15 in my final year of high school) and the disance (he lives a bus ride away and see's me only at weekends) however i find it hard to believe that you can fall out of love because of just this. He said he had been thinking about it for a week or two before, which is unbelievable because of the things we did those weeks leading up to the breakup. We are still going to be friends, but im gna find that hard as i still love him so much. His txt's also before the breakup which he sent me are also very heart warming and he says how much he misses me. He thought the main thing was our lifestyle, but if he waited just a year he would eventually be living the same lifestyle as he would be restarting his second year in college. I don't know how he completely feels, and if he loves me and has to let it go or if something else has happened he is not telling me about. I am at the moment going through denial and thereforeeee am finding hopes that he still loves me even if they don't exist. I need help and really want to know if anything can happen. I've really been in pain the past couple of days and have my friend to help. However just an hour ago i spent a lot of time crying eventually cutting myself, but did not want to be a hypocryte as i think it leads nowhere. I am trying to seek comfort in all places possible, can you help?