wildrosez

I just found this site yesterday and it's kind of comforting to know everybody goes through the same thing in grieving the end of a relationship. It sounds like everybody is in the bargaining stage, which I am too ofcourse. That point in which you would do almost anything to get back with the person you love. That's why SuperDave's is advice is a good idea. Because it reminds you not to do something stupid when your feeling desparate. But sometimes it is a good idea to respond when they contact you in my opinion, because how else are you gonna find out if they really miss you if you don't talk to them? My ex and I were living together for 10 1/2 years, I have a beautiful platinum diamond ring but we didn't quite make the last leap. He didn't want it back. We had a long, loving relationship in many ways but we couldn't resolve some issues. We hit gridlock as our couples therapist called it. We were in couples therapy for 2 1/2 years, we really tried. We had some successes but couldn't quite make it work, they encouraged us to go into individual therapy for a while and then return to couples therapy. I went to individual therapy but he didn't want to. As I started working on myself, I felt really frustrated that he wouldn't work on himself. I got really fed up and decided to end it. It took months as we had a house and had to wait to sell it. It was the hardest thing I've ever had to do. I loved him so much and still do. Yet I couldn't not do it, he wasn't willing to change. As we were ending he did make some changes but not enough to stay. But enough for me to want to keep talking to him. As I continued to change I shared with him and he seemed to change a little. So after we sold the house and finally moved out. We helped each other move, and stayed in contact. I was the one contacting him initially, I guess cause I saw changes. We stopped living together 3 months ago, and the first 2 months we saw each other once or twice a week. But then about a month ago, it seemed like he was getting too comfortable and started reverting to some of his old behavior and I got fed up and just cancelled dates and didn't call him for a week or so. During that time I sold my old car and bought a new one. Which I told him I was thinking about doing. He finally called me a week and half later. I told him what I did and he blew up saying that I didn't consult him he could have helped me to get a better deal on selling my car, granted I could have gotten a lot more for my car. But I couldn't really wait and I told him my reasons why. He was so pissed, I guess cause he felt like I didn't need him anymore. So then he did N/C on me. I called him a couple times which only led to arguing. Then he said he didn't want to talk to me anymore. Then I called him to let him know that I met somebody that he wanted to meet in his field of work and told the guy to call him. I called him to let him know, at first he was thankful. He sounded like he was hurting. I talked a little chit chat. He said he didn't want to talk about the big stuff I said good but then he starts talking about the big stuff. I got a call and told him I had to get it. I thought he hund up. Later that night I was out with a friend and he asked me why I didn't call him back like he said and I told him I didn't hear him say to call him back. I thought he just hung up. He asked me to get together the next day, I told him I had plans. He said ok, so do you want to get together, he expected me to break my plans. Then I said I would call him back when I got home, then starts quizing about where I am and why I'm there, who I'm with? I didn't really answer cause it wasn't a big deal it was just a friend. I told him I would call him later tonight. So when I got home I would call, so when I called I told him that when I ended things it wasn't because I didn't want him, and that I still loved him. It was his behavior I didn't want. I told him I wanted him to treat me better. He flew off the handle saying that he was the one who wasn't treated right. How I didn't ask for help in areas where he was an expert, how I owed him money and how I did him wrong. Most of which didn't make much sense to me. He said he was hurting and he sounded hurt and angry. I tried to talk to him but he was too upset, so I told him I couldn't talk to him when he was like this and hung up. I called him back a few minutes later hoping he had calmed down but he hadn't so I hung up again. So then I thought about it and thought maybe he was having money troubles and that's why he said I owed him money, because his pride wouldn't let him ask for help. So I decided to send him some money, well I ran into him the next day and he looked at me initially with this look that he was happy to see me, then I guess he remembered the hurt and looked at me with "that oh it's you" look so I went up to him and he was talking to this guy I had referred him to but the guy was talking to someone else at the time and I said hey here take this, it was the check I had in my purse in an envelope. He said no I don't want it. I said just take it. He said no. You don't think you owe me, I said fine I owe, you just take it. He said no, you don't believe that. So I put the envelope in his computer bag. He said how dare you go into my stuff. I said oh, come on and I tried to hug him and he said no way, don't touch me. I don't want anything to do with you. I couldn't believe he acted like this, I've never seem him act like this. I just walked away, and we kept passing by each other because we were both at this expo. And not talking it was so weird. So I haven't spoken to him since. And he hasn't cashed the check. I'm doing as he asked and just leaving him alone. But I miss him so much , I'm so miserable without him. Is that what he wants, just to make me miserable or is he just trying to take care of himself. And if so does that mean I'll never see him again. When we ended things initially we agreed to be friends even though we were still more than friends. I don't understand why he's doing this. Except that I know he's hurt and angry. If anybody can help I would love input. Thanks for reading my really long story.