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Bugie78

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Everything posted by Bugie78

  1. Bugie78
    He didn’t diagnose him as a man. I met the person because they are on good terms and he goes to see him play in his band he has, he goes by him/he pronoun now 😭.
  2. Bugie78
    THANK YOU! Finally the amount of misunderstanding in this is baffling. 😭. He never said he doesn’t know when he’ll see me again.
  3. Bugie78
    Bruh we already took our week break 😭. He also literally just texted me today how my day has been and told me how it was a easy day at work today which isn’t common for him. And guess what? He texted me first. I been leaving him alone. 80% of the time he texts me first. He been telling me all his struggles BEFORE the break. He introduced me to his friends, to his mom, (his dad died of brain cancer unfortunately), he drove me all the way to the shore an hour away. Few times actually. Last month was my birthday and he gave me 4 gifts all wrapped and had cake with me and my family and dinner with my family. He feels really bad (yes he said that) about the stress but literally that one week seemed to help him so far. I told him we will take it one day at a time. He’s not a bad person. He should feel comfortable talking to me about anything 😭. Also keep in mind one relationship he had he was saying the women was very controlling, a women he dated for a month didn’t work out because they weren’t a women they were a man trapped in a women’s body. I met them too because they were on good terms but they clearly aren’t into each other and he wanted me to meet them. (They have a band they play at which I attended with him). I also don’t remember if he said for ever or in a while. I feel he said it was in a while. This is my 2nd longest relationship.
  4. Bugie78
    No it was because he was stressed. Which cause him to be distant at least that’s what he belived and I personally didn’t think he was distant at all. Especially the two weeks before he said this to me we were cuddling on his couch watching a movie and yes he initiated the cuddling. How is telling his girlfriend all his struggles any form of acting like his therapist or mother. That’s what couples do. 😭. He still texts me first since the no contact 1 week break.
  5. Bugie78
    He never said he doesn’t know when he will see me again. He was saying he doesn’t know for sure how he will feel by Saturday. Idk it’s kind of hard to explain. That doesn’t mean he won’t see me the following Saturday. I mean I’ll keep updated I’m kind of tired explaining this but I’ll keep things posted I guess.
  6. Bugie78
    this isn't a Ross and Rachel situation bruh T-T. that's tv that isn't real life. We never broke up. Taking a break does not equal break up. He wasn't ever stressed about OUR relationships. He was damn stressed because his good friend was ghosting him and not talking to him and he has something wrong medically and needs a procedure done which puts a lot of stress. Notice how I haven't changed the story or anything? Because it is damn true. At work they been watching him like a hawk because he took too many breaks at work, which causes him to be even more stressed He has actually seen me on days he was completely tired and exhausted because he tends to be a night owl and can't fall asleep most nights. And other weekends he isn't as tired.
  7. Bugie78
    because I never took a break before and neither did he. Break does not equal break up. I seen couples who done it and are still together. It can in fact work for the right reasons. I am the understanding type and I am not a pushover. I literally told him how I feel about this yesterday, that isn't me being a pushover.
  8. Bugie78
    ofc I didn't want this break, but neither did he. He even said this to me. We never ended and are still together he literally texts me every day other then the one week we had no contact. He even admitted he doesn't want any negative outcomes to this too. I want him to feel like he can make his own choice and want him to not feel any pressure. We most likely are going to see each other again.
  9. Bugie78
    he's older then me though. And like I said I was the one to suggest, he even admitted he never took a break before. We do plan on seeing eachother again and agree it to only being a 1-2 weeks. He never was emotionally distant with me. He tells me all his struggles and stress that's why he needs space to gather his mind together. He literally asked to talk to me at a mall and he let off all his struggles he been having it's not emotional distance when a guy tells you his struggles.
  10. Bugie78
    he's my 5th. Not my first at all.
  11. Bugie78
    when I said that it was in reference to people jumping to the seeing eachother once a week being a red flag thing. Which is NOT what this was about.
  12. Bugie78
    they aren't excuses. He treated me the best out of every single person I have dated. He even admitted he doesn't want any negative (breaking up) outcomes to this break either. (just talked to him about this)
  13. Bugie78
    THANK YOU! Finally someone gets it. Fun fact apparently my parents when they first started dating they didn't see each other every week. And guess what? They been married 30+ years. Idk why some are so focus on that tiny bit of the story.
  14. Bugie78
    there is no stories T_T.
  15. Bugie78
    he lives 40 min away from me. I am too nice of a person to let him come all this way in order to go back to his place and back. No seriously he keeps telling me he doesn't mind, but I am stubborn and I rather not let him come all this way to pick me up. I drive to see him, and he drives to see me. We share responsibilities, I feel too much of a burden to let him do all the heavy tasks. He does pay for all my food though and tickets if the tickets aren't too expensive. However he once did in fact pick me up at my house to drive an hour away to a concert. And it was a lot of driving for one night I felt bad.
  16. Bugie78
    I suggested it because I know very well how stress affects relationships. Like okay. So we took 1 week break no contact. He contacted me Saturday like he said he would to ask how I been doing and next day he was sending me pictures of all the different things he saw that day. Then monday after I got back from the city, we talked on the phone for 24 minutes and he seemed genuinly concern with how I am doing. He even said about the break that it's the worst case scenerio but he agrees, and seemed a little sad not joyful. He even hugged me tight before he left. If you are truly meant to be together then the break will in fact make couples stronger in the end. And see that's where you and I are different. During difficult times, I as well, shut down and don't want anyone near me. Or I pretend it never happen and let the stress of that fold into anxiety that does in fact put pressure on the relationship which makes the relationship end.
  17. Bugie78
    he only works till 5 who ever said that means I do too. I work mostly PM shifts, which ends at 7:30 on a good day. I literally work with dogs, so my time I get off is highly depending on that and when their owners come pick them up and how fast we can get done cleaning for the night. That usually ends at 7:30. By the time I get home, it is 8:00ish. Just because he might get out at 5 doesn't mean I do too. IN fact, I was the one to suggest saturday being our date time. And he literally agreed to me, and told me he will make saturdays a priorty to see me. We have blocked out saturdays because we just know we see each other. As with the gym thing, I have no idea if he can bring a guest to work with him at the gym. (didn't ask him yet, honestly its hard for me to workout when I stand on my feet all day long getting jumped at and knocked over by big dogs. But his membership might not even let a guest come.
  18. Bugie78
    He gets off at 5:00 on Monday through Friday. I sometimes (most actually) work the PM shift which means I work from 1:00 pm to 7:30 pm. By the time I get home it’s 8:00. He also lives 40 min away. So there isn’t actually any time between to go for dinner during the week. He also gets very tired after work and sometimes even past out from exhaustion. And he actually does turn to me when he’s stressed he tells me everything about all the stress that’s how I know it’s legit. It’s not a excuse to take care of your mental health. As with the exercise thing it’s his way to cope or heal his anxiety he’s been having. A lot of ppl use excerise to cope with anxiety it’s a actual thing. We aren’t married and we don’t have a puppy. I also don’t have kids lol. 5 months is too early for marriage tbh. We don’t live together either because again we only dating 5 months.
  19. Bugie78
    He doesn’t know that I feel incomplete though as I never actually told him that. So there isn’t that pressure. He already told me that it isn’t me or the relationship but rather things outside of the relationship
  20. Bugie78
    Thank you for being optimistic 🥺 I appreciate that. I feel ppl jump to the worst conclusion without actually knowning them personally.
  21. Bugie78
    I mean I doubt it’s a excuse because he’s been talking about this for a bit now. His medical stress is very valid because his dad literally died of brain cancer when he was a teen. We both work. He works Monday-Friday and my work varies but I always keep Saturday open. I’m force to work one weekend day as I work with animals. But I usually work 4-5 days a week. He’s 28, I’m 26. He lives with his mom but he’s planning on moving out in the spring with his guy friend. Ironically the place he’s planning on moving is actually closer to me. He was recently diagnosed with adhd and is now taking meds, which is stressful in itself. His dad died when he was young from brain cancer, and one of his closes friends is literally being distant with him and this is upsetting him a lot. It’s not new stuff that he’s been saying. We met on bumble. And nope he hasn’t with a ex. (At least not to my knowledge but I’m 99.9% sure he’s not) he did in fact contact me after week break to ask how I’m feeling so it seems he’s genuinely concern with how I’m doing about this. He also was asking what I been doing and gave me updated that he’s gonna need a procedure done and it’s his first time under anesthesia so that’s stressful too.
  22. Bugie78
    We have no choice but to see each other once a week. He works Monday-Friday. I work with animals so I’m forced to work on at least one weekend day and chose Sunday. And I been working 5 days as well. It’s the only day we both have all day wide open. he’s also 28. I’m 26. He’s also that rare type of guy that doesn’t get into that type of intimacy that fast. but in regards to his stress, he has ADHD like me. And with ADHD comes difficult managing stressful situations. It wasn’t new or suprisingly stuff he’s been ranting about the stress for a bit. Not the whole time but a bit. We actually never had any drama that would cause this. And so far he’s been very open and honest with me.
  23. Bugie78
    Hey guys, so I am new here, because google isn't helping me solve this. But anyways I been dating this amazing guy for 5 months. We been going on dates every Saturday. Recently, he became distant a little, and felt he wasn't fair to me, even though I thought he was. And he's been going through issues outside of our relationship with his friend distancing himself from him, and with medical issues going on, as well as work stress, and I was the one that offered a break if he thinks that will help. Well he liked the idea, so we been taking a break. It's been 1 week break, and we agreed on no contact for 1 week and texting again saturday. Which is what we did. He did in fact text me saturday. Then he asked me if I would like to talk on the phone to catch up on stuff, so because of our schedules we just had the phone call now. To sum it up, he been working on himself, going to the gym and stuff, and he wanted to know how I was doing, and how I was feeling which I admitted that as good as I can be, which I mean that very upset about it but trying to be calm about it and what not by distracting myself with other stuff. And his friend issue is still a thing, so because I am on the autism spectrum I tried to reassure him or relate to that struggle because people on the spectrum like myself, struggle in the friend department big time. He seemed quiet about that too which I think I accidently upset him which wasn't my intentions. (yes I already apologized and explained), BEFORE the whole friend thing, he also admitted that apparently he's also trying to come to terms that this is the longest relationship he has had or at least in a while, and he explained how his ex was very controlling and what not which like I am not controlling at all, and he knows this, but he did say this during our talk. I was bold and asked him if there is a chance we will see each other this weekend but to my heartache, he said he is playing it by year about how he feels because he is still trying to work on himself or his stress and stuff. Of course he kept asking if I was fine, which like I am, but deep down I feel so much hurt that tears won't even come to the surface but I can feel it in my core especially because I miss him so freaking much and just feel very incomplete. Does anyone have any advice for this that will ease my worries or maybe even happen to you and if things worked out. Like how do things like this work out? I am so scared, and nervous. I really really like him. And can use helpful advice please. Sorry this was so long it was a lot.
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