LINDA

Good day to you all, and thank you for your input. I rewrote the post and deleted the last one; it's the same guy I mentioned before, and I feel bad about testing him. I feel I need more courage to ask him directly, and I guess I made it. Yesterday, I asked him to meet for coffee before our date because I wanted to talk to him and make things clear. So, I gathered all the energy I had and told him everything on my mind. He was surprised because he thought it was clear for him that he treated me as a girlfriend; he was just taking things slowly and didn't want to rush me. He said that I'm definitely the girl he wants to spend his life with. Also, he said that he's sorry for making me confused all this time and that he will try to be more direct. We ended up having our first kiss FINALLY

9 minutes ago, Andrina said:

It's unclear what's been going on in the past 5 months. Sounds like you're just been friends since you call him your crush. But if you mean you go on dates and you have no idea if he dates other people too or not, by all means state how you want things to be. His answer will then determine if you should move ahead with him or exit the situationship.

It doesn't feel friendly to me because he keeps calling me. (While writing this, he just texted me 'Good morning, my love'.)? And when we're on dates, he always offers to pay, while if we were friends, we should split the bill. Also, he texts me every day and calls me, but I still don't know anything about his love life or anything like that. It's still unclear to me.

Next Saturday, I've planned me and my crush to have a date and spend time together. I've known him for five months now, and we've clicked well. But the problem is, the relationship isn't clear. I've been waiting for him to ask me to be his girlfriend for like a million times, but there's been no confirmation. I know he's kind to me and he makes me happy, and he also told me he likes me. I've been thinking that I want to take the step and tell him that I want to know if he is serious about me before going on another date. I don't want to spend more time in a situationship because I don't like it. Am I right to ask ?

I had a similar situation: a breakup and then a rush to find my high school crush. I asked a friend about him, and she gave me his number. I contacted him because we were good friends back then. He said he spent time looking for me after he finished high school because he was two years older than me and went overseas afterward. We reconnected and spent time talking over the phone for maybe a month because he was still out of town. He promised to come for my birthday regardless. However, after spending days talking to him, I discovered that his personality had changed a lot. We didn't have the same things in common anymore. It was as if he had been brainwashed when he left our country. He was even rude sometimes, and I didn't like his behavior. So, I decided to stop talking to him. I can't deny that I was disappointed and felt regret because I had looked for him. I wish I hadn't done it and had kept the nice view I had of him when I was young.

Yesterday, I had a conversation with my best friend about his first date meeting a girl he had been talking to online for two months. I asked why it took so long, and he explained that they lived in different cities. Anyways, he was turned off the first time he saw her. He mentioned that he had made the effort to dress nicely and shave for the occasion, as it was their first date. However, she didn't seem to put in the same effort. She showed up dressed as if she were going to a convenience store, with no makeup on. He said he was shocked and felt uneasy about it.

Appearance can play a significant role in making a positive first impression for both individuals involved. It demonstrates care and respect for the occasion and the person you're meeting.

i would never date a broke guy; talking by experience cuz he will endup taking your money 

Save yourself , time , money. 

any updates i worry about her ??

woah.. there is so many red flags to look for before Tinder 

please think twice you deserve better

5 hours ago, ShySoul said:

After all this time he still thought of you in enough of a positive light to consider recommending a job that he thought you might be good at. He wasn't trying to get back with you or force himself into your life. Seems like he was trying to do a nice thing for you. If the job is something you would be interested in, no reason to ignore it and possibly miss out on a great opportunity just because of your past with one person.

What were the circumstances of the break up? If he did something really bad, then of course, feel free to ignore him. But if it was relatively amicable and he's not doing anything too rude or uncomfortable, a polite thank you doesn't seem too much to say.

I appreciate your input. Thank you, please feel free to read my story

Since then, I haven't heard from him. I won't accept any kind of offer, and I won't be thankful for it.

20 minutes ago, Batya33 said:

No need to reply -check out the job if you wish.  If  you reply I'd simply write "thanks.  take care" so he knows you're not open to being in contact and are simply being polite

I deleted the message and assumed it never existed. I don't want to contact or initiate contact with someone who caused me a lot of pain.

My ex reached out to me via text early today to discuss a new job opportunity and how I am a good fit for it. He told me to check on it
My heart sank because he suddenly showed up on my contact list after leaving me 4 months ago. 
I did not reply to his message and I am not planning to do so. Did I do it in the right way?

try to ask for it politly and see how he reacts; it still a gift after all and it goes to him but if u asked politly maybe he would give it back

7 minutes ago, Wiseman2 said:

Please ask your friends and family to delete and block him. It's good you are notifying people that the relationship is over. Why is this friend allowing this and why was she unaware that you broke up? 

We are best friends but we both are busy with our lives that why i perefered to tell her in person.. but i was surprised he starts following here after we break up..that have no sense 

11 minutes ago, smackie9 said:

Because he's looking to hookup with her eventually. Your friend needs to block/delete him. 

She already dating someone else and she accepted to follow him only cuz she thinks we still together.. i dont know is it normal to tell her to block him or i just let things go? 

I broke up with my ex three months ago. Yesterday, a close friend informed me that my ex is active on her social media, reacting to her posts. She assumed we were still together, but I clarified that we've been broken up for a while. I find it confusing because he wasn't friend with her or in contact while we were dating. Why would he starts following my best friend now?

Sorry, because you feel this way, but I assure you, I do the same after my breakup.

Just delete everything may lead you to him, and even if you are about to do the "check," just drop your phone and do something else, because that will change nothing after all.

Focus on doing more activities and meeting other people. It definitely helps.

I am sure by time we will heal completely. Also, sharing your feelings here will make you feel better.

Have a great time and waiting for the update

omg omg that looks cute pls keep us posted and a have a great date 

7 hours ago, MissCanuck said:

When someone is already distancing themselves after just 5 months and needs a break to "work on" themselves, the relationship is probably over. 

I'm sorry, OP.

Too much talk but this is the exact point 

An sorry but she is not interested just move on.. and dont ask her again..

Focus on your work and u will find someone who will be willing to meet u as much as u do 

1 hour ago, Batya33 said:

I’m not clicking in links and at this point I’d let it go. I’m sorry 

Its safe imgur is a famous image hosting services 

Just tell him what u feel about it and watch his reaction 

Definitely if he truly loves u he wont make it a case to worry about

But if u told him and he keeps doing what makes u feel hurt 

You have to step back and leave immediately.

Wow! Am curious why u even love this man ?

3 hours ago, AndieA said:

I think you will.  You are on the right path.  Keep the positive thoughts. 

Thanks that cheer me up alot  

day by day i think of him less also i activate my Instagram page to keep up  with my friends and i have no clue to check on his page which i used to do ALOT  

39 minutes ago, Sindy_0311 said:

Was it the first time you met? I personally think it’s strange that he already wants to celebrate his birthday with you. I would never suggest that to a person I saw only once… in fact last week I turned 40, and a guy I met for the first time earlier last week told me that he would invite in the evening and buy me a birthday cake etc… but I stopped contact with him, partly because of this: too much to soon. I don’t want to build a faux sense of intimacy with someone i spent two hours with… I don’t allow a guy I don’t know to celebrate my birthday or any significant event with me. This is one of my boundaries and a way to assess the fact that that person didn’t earn the right to share these moments with me, because trust hasn’t been established yet and vice versa towards them…  But hey, that’s just me, and I m Swiss, so maybe a bit cold with people in general… 

I got your point .. but i just think he wants a 2nd date so maybe he found that his birthday is a good opportunity.. 

It means nothing for me cuz im not ready to develop any kind of feelings for now

We will just meet in a good restaurant and enjoy our food and some good talk then i will back to my place