Lwelter

True, and from what I understand they've been together a long time, so I won't wait. She said she appreciated my honesty and hopes to see eachother at the language exchange meet-up in the future (where we first met)

All fair points. I canceled the meeting, saying it wouldn't feel right while she has a boyfriend, but if she becomes single and dances a drink she can get in touch if she's up for it

Yea I'm doing so, been on plenty of dates over the last year. This was just a girl I met who I was interested in, so thought I'd see if she was available and got the above respond 👍

Agreed, thanks!

Yep good advice. I was a bit surprised because when she said "maybe we can go for a drink as friends" I had thought she meant as a group (this was my misunderstanding because she speaks another language which I'm conversational but not fluent in). So I was surprised to find out she meant just the two of us. I agree with others above that, say in theory she broke up with her boyfriend and we were together (feels stupid saying this as I don't know her very well), it would be in the back of my mind that she could do the same thing to me.

One where people stay calm behind their keyboards 😊. Thanks for your input

Who knows, maybe she told her boyfriend that she's going for a drink with a male friend and they're comfortable and trusting enough in their relationship for that to be okay?

I met a girl around a year ago and liked her, but she had a boyfriend. I messaged her recently to ask if she was still with someone and, if not, if she'd like to go for a drink. She said she's still with someone, but that she'd like to go for a drink as friends. I'm not reading too much into this, but I'd like to hear people's thoughts.

You just have accept that you will feel sad and try and not let it consume you. Recongnise those feelings are there and accept that they will be there for a while, until they just aren't. Meditation helps in that sense, to seperate yourself from what you feel. What you do in the meantime can help determine how long those feelings linger for.

The angry phase you mention is something I've experienced multiple times, exactly how you describe it. I've made the mistake of sending messages paragraphs long about how I was angry about how they did this and that. I still get that temptation now, and it's very strong. Ultimately, nothing whatsoever good comes of it. From experience I'm slowly learning to fight the urge to send those sort of messages, and to chase someone who doesn't reciprote your feelings. I find it incredibly difficult, but I think it comes down to personality types. Some can maybe "get over things" more quickly, if they are extroverted types who can be easily distracted. Those of us who have a tenancy for introspection, introversion and close relationships with a select few, it is much more difficult I think. It's cliché, and seems like empty words, but finding something that genuinely makes you feel good helps. These activities will always be momentary in terms of alleviating sad feelings. You unfortunately cannot hide from the reality that when your head hits the pillow you'll likely think of that person and these feelings of sadness, anger or frustration will inevitably arise. But feeling better about yourself through activities which make you feel good, be it exercise, reading, learning, socializing or whatever, help reduce the time you spend mulling over the past and ultimately help you heal. You'll get there and it won't take as long as it feels right now.