Well, my personal experience too has been that nice guys do finish last.
Remember that there are as many dysfunctional women out there as there are dysfunctional men. Many of these women are drawn to men they can "change" or "reform" because doing so would boost their fragile egos and give them a sense of purpose they are missing in their lives. I grew up watching my mother get beaten up by my father day to day for some 15 years. I begged and begged her to file for divorce but her savior complex prevented her from doing so. She truly believed that she could reform him and that my brother and I were better off with a father than none at all. The beating only stopped when he was committed to a mental institution. Sadly, even today, she says she still loves him. This is an extreme case, of course, but the story should demonstrate that there are all kinds of screwed-up people out there who are drawn to men they can "fix".
You do have a choice. No one is asking you to be a nice guy. You can either continue to be nice and be ignored by the female populace that is attracted to danger and drama. Or you can stop being so nice and take your chances with whomever crosses your path. It stands to reason that if you are a nice guy, you should eventually meet a nice girl, but there are no guarantees in life. I think in the end, your personal convictions will be a far more powerful force for you in shaping your behavior than your desire for a relationship. Can you live with yourself if you became a mean person? To what extent would you go to attain a relationship?
I understand your frustration because I'm a nice guy too and like you, I don't have anyone. Back when I was separated from my ex, I met a beautiful girl that I absolutely adored who was falling rapidly for me, unaware that I was still married because I didn't have my wedding ring on. I could have kept my marital status a secret and we would have had a passionate relationship, but I wanted to do the honorable thing. I did not want to deceive her so I took her aside and let her know that I was separated but not yet divorced. Being a devout Christian, she was floored at this revelation. She thanked me profusely for my being honest and saving her from making a "terrible mistake." Then she left my life and found a lover in the next two months. My rewards for my being a decent man were a clear conscience and a heart broken into a million pieces.
I do hope you will hang in there and not compromise who you are. I personally find it difficult to swallow the fact that I am unloved, unwanted, undesired. Yet, I believe that integrity, character, and other higher ideals of life are things worth suffering for.
