rascal

by forcing the issue and stopping the drama, I mean just that. tell her there is nothing else you can do to show her how much you love her b/c you tell her every time you talk to her. ask her, "do you know i love with all my heart." she'll say, "yes." ask her, "what else can i do to prove this to you? TELL ME WHAT TO DO! do you want me to leave you alone? do you want to see me? do you not want to see me? do you want me to stop calling you all the time? tell me what you want me to do, and i'll do it." and whatever she says, good or bad, YOU MUST ABIDE BY IT. you have to understand, at the point you're at right now, there is no way of knowing what she is thinking UNLESS YOU ASK HER. evrything else is speculation. and right now you are literally guessing about how she is going to feel, depending on your actions. that is not a healthy, open, honest relationship. you need to be honest with her (which, obviously you are) and most importantly, you need her to be brutally honest with you. i know that may seem contradictory. but that is what i mean when i say stop the drama. get to the point and force the issue, by asking her what she wants you to do. if she needs time and space (which she will) give it to her. let her know that if you have to prove to her how much you love her by leaving her alone, than that's what you'll do. don't let her misinterpret your silence as you not loving her. Let her know that you are willing to do whatever it takes to help her be happy, And dude, this is one man's opinion. it's what i would do. i am no expert. i just think you need to ask her point blank what she wants you to do, and then prove your love to her by DOING IT. until you do this, you will most definitely drive yourself crazy. and, i can't stress this enough, i feel your pain. i know that sick to your stomach feeling that comes with the thought of losing her. keep it together, and have an honest conversation with her. good or bad, you'll know where you stand.

I completely understand how hard this is. I recently lost the love of my life after 8 years. but it was the final month of "conversations" that made or broke the last 8 years. You have to realize that how you handle the next few conversations will determine if she comes back to you or not. It's almost impossible for you to see b/c you are in the middle of all this, but you must keep all your pain and misery to yourself. If you think she doesn't know how you're feeling, you're wrong. She knows. Make it easy to talk. Make it easy to see her. Forget all the drama. I KNOW IT'S ALMOST IMPOSSIBLE, BUT YOU CAN'T KEEP HAVING THESE LIFE OR DEATH CONVERSATIONS WITH HER. and believe me when i tell you, i get it. i get how you're feeling. i have to live every day with the thought of her with someone else, and it is the hardest thing i've ever had to deal with. don't you think i think about going to see her or calling her or emailing her every day? i do. many, many, times a day. mine is a long and complicated story that i'm not going to get into, but ultimately i had to say, "be with me or leave me alone." and she would keep calling me or emailing me wanting to know where my band was playing, while still having a relationship with someone else. i finally had to force the issue and tell her to lose the guy and marry me, or leave me alone. i'm no expert, by any means, but i think you need to force the issue.

I have been following your story, and I am curious to see how things end up. I have recently been through a similar situation and, unfortunately it ended horribly. Just remember, you are still in contact with her. That is a huge bonus. Remember that there could come a time when you don't even have that. How would you feel then? As hard as it may seem, you CAN'T pour out your heart to her every time you talk to her. She knows how you feel, trust me. Don't pressure her into coming back to you. She needs to come back on her own terms. This will be the hardest thing you have ever done. But it will be worth it.