primrose322

I'm in my early 30s and I've been in a relationship for a couple years now but we've been struggling a lot lately and I'm not sure if it's something I want long-term anymore. I'm crushed and heartbroken, but I think what's been bugging me the most is that the majority of my friends are married with kids. They all have houses and families, and look so happy on social media. And when I see them in person, everyone looks so blissfully happy and in love and like they really couldn't ask for anything else in life. By contrast, I spend many nights alone feeling like I've fallen behind in life especially since I'm not sure if my current relationship will lead to marriage. I'm terrified of possibly starting over, but I'm more terrified of feeling like I'm in a different stage of life than everyone else I know, and feeling kind of like an outcast. I know that in the grand scheme of things, early 30s is still quite young but it's sometimes hard for me to put that into perspective. How do you stop comparing yourself to those around you?

My bf and I have together for about 2 years now, and aside from a few issues here and there, it's been relatively smooth. Whenever we've had issues or disagreements, we've been able to work things out, and the good times we have are really wonderful. Over the past week however, I noticed that he's been more distant than usual. There would be moments where he would go quiet or not want to engage in conversation with me despite me trying my best to do so. He would appear as though he was lost in his thoughts or just seemed very closed off. I noticed this yesterday more than I ever have before when we were out and about. I tried making conversation, but his body language seemed closed off, and he didn't try to continue conversations that I had started (replied with mostly one word answers). He didn't seem interested in anything that we were doing either, and generally seemed annoyed whenever I spoke. As the day went on, this only got worse. At one point, his disinterest turned into noticeable irritation. I thought he might need some time/space to himself, so I stopped talking and gave him that space. Once I did this however, he became even more irritated and even more closed off. By this time, it seemed like he didn't want to be anywhere near me. When I asked him what was wrong, he said that I was the one who was closed off and seemed distant - so I tried conversing with him again with no real success. On the walk back home, he stepped aside and broke down crying. He tried to hide it from me but I could see that he was very upset. I didn't say anything because I was so sure that I had done something wrong and was afraid to talk about it with him in that moment. When we got back home, he finally told me everything that was bothering him - apparently I had done several little things over the past two weeks that really bothered him, and I had no idea. He had kept everything bottled up for that long and it then made sense to me why he was so distant. Once we spoke, everything was back to normal again. He went back to being warm and affectionate as he normally is. It seems like he felt a lot better after speaking about it, and I felt much better as well in the moment - but today, I'm still feeling resentment over what happened yesterday. All the times he ignored and shut me down, didn't want to talk to me, etc. It was painful and hurtful and I'm finding it difficult to just move past this like nothing ever happened. I initially tried to brush it off, because he did lose a parent recently, and I know he's still processing the grief from that. He always tells me that he can't imagine a life without me and that he wants us to get married one day. We actually were planning to get engaged soon, and he said that once that happens, he'll be over the moon. But now I'm not so sure. I can't imagine a life without him either but I'm just feeling extremely sad and worried that this might happen again and I might have this feeling where I'm walking on eggshells. Am I being too sensitive or unreasonable?

I've been in a relationship for almost 2 years now with an extremely loving and patient person. From the moment we met, I felt a deep sense of comfort and emotional depth in our connection that I had never experienced before. He has always been an excellent listener, remembered the things that I told him and has been a great source of emotional support to me. I always felt so calm and collected when in his presence. I have met all of his friends and family, and we've recently been talking about getting engaged. He's very excited about the idea of taking the next step, but I can't help but feel a ton of anxiety. There are some moments where I feel truly excited about starting a life with him, but then there are other moments where I start to doubt everything and wonder if I'd be making the right decision. There are a few things that I feel are contributing to this - my bf can be a funny person at times, but he can also be very serious and is often lost in his thoughts. I always envisioned myself with someone who wasn't so serious and was more relaxed about life in general. As of now, I truly am satisfied with him and don't feel like anything is lacking, but I fear that several years down the road, I might find myself wishing that I was with someone who was more a bit more humorous, silly, and laid-back. I guess the upside of this is that he is very focused on his goals and is also a very devoted partner. Aside from this, there are no other major issues. I have had some thoughts here and there about what life would be like without him, but it was too difficult and painful for me to imagine. He's the first person I want to tell everything to and his joy and sorrow truly feels like my joy and sorrow. I can't imagine him not being in my life. At the same time, I wish that I didn't have these doubts and worries about getting engaged - I wish I felt nothing but excitement. In the past, I've also been very hesitant to commit to anyone - this is my first real relationship and I'm in my early 30s. Are these doubts normal?