Amber St. Clare

Rhonda, I really like your book, The Dating Cure, and thought Don't Call That Man and The Committment Cure have also been good dating aids for me in the last few years. I'm glad you wrote them. Thank you ! Markers, With all due respect, I do not think the majority of women "seem to be attracted to jerks" instead of nice guys. Too many nice women I know are dating or engaged to nice guys. If you went out with a woman who later decided to go out with someone else she liked better, or was more attracted to, or had more in common with initially, she made a choice as to someone she hoped she was more compatible with, either emotionally, intellectually, physically or financially, than she thought she was with you. I understand if you felt hurt. No one likes to be rejected. It happens though, and the best way for you to heal from it is to look at your part in what happenned. Ask yourself if there was ANYTHING you could have done differently in the time you spent together. Take responsibility for your actions with her. Did you show up on time ? Did you call and make plans several days in advance ? Did you ask her what she wanted to do and do that ? Were you polite and well-mannered ? Were you showered and shaved and dressed nicely ? Did you act respectful and not try to hold her hand/put your arm around her waist/kiss her before she felt comfortable with your advances ? Were you sensitive to whether you two really had anything in common -- or did you just hope for the best because you found her attractive ? Were you in any way controlling, rude, demanding, insensitive or thoughtless in any remarks you might have made ? If you were a genuinely nice guy, you'll attract a genuinely nice girl. This one might not have been 'the one for you", and maybe there are lessons to be learned from what happenned. Put your best foot forward whether it be in e-mails or on the phone and in person, and I'd bet that there will definitely be a girl who will prefer you over someone who doesn't do all of the above -- Sincerely, Amber