Hello90

Hey,

I know how it is to feel liek you'll never find what you want. I was just like that for almost 6 years of my life.

I think you're looking in all of the wrong places. Bars, clubs, etc are not good places to look for someone who is dedicated and mature enough for what you want.

If you are telling a girl from the start that you want to totally depend on her and vice versa, that could scare her off, but you sound smarter than that. If you do tell girls this up-front, maybe try to get the information more inadvertently.

Your expectations aren't too high in general, but are maybe be too high for the population of women you seem to be exposed to. You should branch out a little and definitely don't go for anything less than what you want. it will only lead to further heartbreak.

no this one the one that told me my penis is too small.

That set of my ridiculous alarm. She sounds very chilish, inconsiderate and not ready at all for a serious relationship. I would definitely dump her.

This is one of the reasons I think society does more harm than good. Creating walls around sexual acts that are meant to be broken down magically at adulthood.

Were you into oral BEFORE you got the infection? Or did you just go along with it "knowing" it was dirty?

Hey,

Don't feel discouraged, you're new to it. You need to go really really slow at first. Have fun with it, don't just bombard her. Feel around the area, tickle there, rub her inner thighs. Kiss her a LOT before you do it.

I like to lay her down on her back and rub my fingers lightly all over my girlfriend, THEN I start kissing her! After a while, start to touch there, over the pants or whatever. Then reposition yourself and do it lightly. Make sure she is really wet. If you can't get her wet all around, you might want to use some sort of safe lube. I start slow then increase speed slowly when I feel the clit come out a little. Kind of go with her!

Don't do it too hard or it will hurt! Remember, faster doesn't mean HARDER. One technique that I found works well for my girlfriend is to start out by penetrating about a half an inch then gently rub up until I get near the clitoris. It helps het her wet and she loves it.

Don't feel bad if you don't get it right away, practice makes perfect.

Oh yeah, remember to ALWAYS wash your hands before you do it. Trim your nails and file them so they aren't sharp. You have to be clean and smooth to not give her an infection/cut her!

I wouldn't see this man. It will only cause more pain than you allready seem to be in. He doesn't deserve you, he allready blew his chance. If you don't have the guts to tell him, I would simply not call him or answer his calls. Hopefully he will take a hint. Goodluck and feel better!

There is nothing wrong with you. Ideally, I could go for once maybe twice a day on a good day. 3 times a week on a bad week.

You shouldn't call your sex drive "worse than most men." Sex drive is not a BAD thing and you should not be guilted into believing so.

I know, it's frustrating, confusing and disheartening. I am trying to deal with a parter who has a lower drive as well.

Date the girl, it's YOUR choice. But know this, if you date the girl and start ditching your friends, or generally breaking plans for her, you can pretty much say goodbye to those friends.

You are not being unreasonable in your concerns or requests for him to 'settle down' a bit. You must remember you're in a comitted LDR, so trust is even more important than ever. By putting himself in these types of situations willingly, despite your worries, he is being very inconsiderate.

While, no, you cannot and should not control him, his complete drunkenness around and with seemingly promiscuous girls, shows a lack of caring or concern.

Is there some reason why he doesn't seem to be taking this relationship as seriously as you?

In any case, he is definitely acting immaturely.

I am no expert, but I think all the child needs is attention and love. She probably wants someone to just listen to her and be able to talk to freely, but as a friend and not as a parent or authority figure. Becoming that person is hard, especially since you have a dual job as caretaker.

I am having more problems with sexual incompatability, as I have come to realize it (read previous post for more info).

My girlfriend and I had another talk today. She really does not understand that people have a 'need' for sex. It's as if she never heard of such a thing and I am some sexual pervert.

She told me sexual things do not mean anything. She wouldn't even kiss me today willingly cause she wasn't in a kissing mood.

I now realize that I cannot progress in a relationship with her (after 9 months) if I cannot enjoy sex with someone I love.

She is leaving and instead of turn this into an LDR, I believe it is for the best if we break up. How can I communicate this? I will come off as a sex crazed pervert simply because she does not believe/understand that I have a 'normal' sex drive (once or twice a week would be fine for me). She told me that I want to do it a lot more than other people, but she has dated VERY few other people.

I need advice... any help?

Pholosphy is not the type of degree to seek if you are looking for money. I am majoring in philosophy (probably doctorate if I have money) but only because I wish to strech my mind and become as intelligent as possible. Jobs in the academe (university teacher, lecturer, possibly book writer, journal editor, etc) are the most probable. Don't become a philosopher if you're looking to become rich.

Thank you for the responses.

 

Dude. If she doesn't wanna have sex dont make her feel like she has to coz she shouldn't have to. Also she shouldn't really have to give u an orgasm either.. but if she doesn't wanna kiss you then theres a problem.

 

The thing is, she doesn't see sexual intimacy as important at all. This is not going to change with even marriage. I have never forced her to do anything sexual with me and you're right, she doesn't have to give me an orgasm.

 

However, the fact she will receive so much and put so little in is disheartening. Do I please her when I'm "not in the mood"? Most of the time, yes, I do. Why she can't do it a little more often boggles my mind.

 

I suppose when it comes down to it, I will have to decide how much I can take .

 

This makes me wonder several things. 1) How would marriage change the sex life (this seems to be a common 'remedy' to this problem, but I see it as putting the problem off until later) and 2) how can one communicate the problem with a partner who sees the need for more sexual interaction as ungreatfull and unnessesary?

double post, sorry

I'm sitting here rethinking my sex drive and relationship after a long talk with my girlfriend. We are having libido troubles again.

It started yesterday after I gave her an orgasm (manually ) and she decided she didn't want to reciprocate. "It's okay" I said (and thought). Wen't into thr bathroom and relieved myself to avoid pain.

I returned and she went on to say, as usual, how she disliked doing it, but liked it because it makes me happy (even though she gives me an orgasm about once a month). She went on to say that if it was going to be a problem, then we should just cut it off altogether. I told her I definitely did not want to do that. "Shut up or else" I thought to myself.

Next day, I get off work early and go to visit her, she's not in the mood and I am. I didn't care that much once again. We kisses for a few minutes and shared time laying together. It was nice. Later that day I asked her if she was in the mood today and she said she wasn't. Then she asked "if I stopped kissing you and doing sexual things, would you dump me?" I thought about it and said "yes". She seemed shocked. She continued with "kissing and sexual things aren't important to me. I could be with you without either." I told her that it was very important to me and relationships in general. I also said that without intimacy, it's not much different from a friendship. She didn't see my logic here and said "so basically we're friends with benefiets??". I told her that was ridiculous and that I cared for her.

This is driving me insane. I don't know how do deal with this. I can't marry someone who doesn't see intimacy as ESSENTIAL to a relationship (even though I'm not planning on getting married for quite some years as I am 20 and she is 19). I don't want to leave her. She is my best friend. I care about her.

I have read many many resources and the best answer is there is no answer. Can anyone help??

Maybe you should ease up a bit. Your outlook is very rigid and probably drives people away (assuming you talk about it to people).

If you're going to college, there will be an abundance of people. Join a religious group if you must, but don't expect it will be easy to find someone who views drinking and sex as black and white as you have conveyed here.

Relationships are about compromise. However, virginity is something I can understand not compromising.

The best way to meet people is to put yourself in situations where you will be forced to interact with other people (IMO). Making new friends is really important, especially if you're about to graduate. You'll want more than friends from highschool because most of them jet off to college.

Short fast loud 'eh? I assume you're into diy punk hardcore? Goto shows, introduce yourself to people, start a band, etc. If I assumed wrong, sorry.

Talk about the other girl to her. I think that will do the trick.

I just need somewhere to vent...

Work is terrible, shoveling mud and rocks all day. Getting covered in mud laced with oil and the smell of sewage. Tired of slaving like a machine for less pay than people around me, who do less work.

Girlfriend is hanging out with her friend instead of me as we had planned.

She doesn't seem to care today was terrible that my back is sore, my arms hurt, my voice is gone... why?

I say "today was terrible, I don't want to bring you into the dumps"

she says "hahaha, I'll massage it later"

This sucks. Sorry for unloading this, but I need it.

Don't you have anyone you can confide in? A friend, family member, teacher, etc? I'm going to assume you aren't much of a social person. I think if you branch out a little and try to meet some people, you will forget a little of this. Or so I think...

Eat 6 meals a day. Average 300 calories a meal and eat them every two hours or so. Your body will metabolize food better and your muscle will show better. You will also have a higher metabolism and will probably be able to work out longer.

If you're thinking about having an orgasm, it will be really hard to do. Every time you are close, you will think that and it will push you back a little. One thing that helps me a lot is a LOT of foreplay. I mean beginning in the morning, until the evening. Small kisses, small rubs and stuff until I can't stand it. (assuming you don't allready do this)

One position that helps me get my girlfriend off is if she is on her arms and legs (doggy style) and I am under her face-to-face. I can reach down and stimulate her clitoris and we can make out at the same time. This combined with a lot of foreplay can get her off very quickly (a minute or so).

Goodluck!

-off topic, sorry-

You are who you are

Do you read Neitzsche by any chance?

I know how you feel. My partner gets very frustrated because it takes me so long to come. I am not a woman, but I know how you feel. Have you tried oral, fingering, different positions?

well, today has come and gone, I spent some time with her, tried to do tons of small things (nothing really abnormal for me though). Things that used to get her going didn't and times when she would get herself going didn't work out the same way.

She said "see it feels better when we don't do it for a while." I said "yeah, it always feels good though." Maybe, I'm not reading into this correctly...

Still frustrated... still venting... still trying my best not to show it!

I do all of that... I massage her voulentarily, I kiss her (small kisses) plenty, I hug her, I even bought her something yesterday... I guess I can try to do more though...

Thanks for the book reccomendation, I will definitely look into that!