i absolutely hate to boil such a thoughtful and enlightening post down into two words but i will. 'empathy' and 'trust.' how would your girl feel if you treated her the way you described? be as brutal as you can in your answer? secondly. the same. do you trust her? you cant build a marriage without trust but you can trap a lust with an engagement? hand on heart, judgement day moment, do you feel you deserve better? if you do. speak up. you have NOTHING to lose xx