livethetruth

Finally got the courage to ask my boyfriend why he was still in contact on such a frequent basis with his ex. Basically, I just calmly said "Can I please talk to you about something?" He said "what" and I replied "(his ex's name)". He just sat there...no comment. So I said "Do you still have feelings for her?" He mumbled something, I think it was "no". I then stated "you know you gave me your cell phone bill to pay the other nite and I noticed that you call her quite frequently sometimes several times a day?....I have no problem with you having a friendship, but I felt like there could be something more and I need for you to tell me if there is...I have a right to know" He replied "we don't see each other, we just talk" Then he got up and started to do some laundry and it was obvious that he was mad by the slamming of things. He finally walked back in the room and said "well you have your answer....anything else you would like to know?" And I said " just whether or not you have enough respect for me that if you felt you wanted to be with her or someone else you would let me know first instead of going behind my back" He said yes then told me to leave...which I did....haven't heard from him since...2 days. I told myself that if he said there was nothing going on I would believe him and trust in that. However, his reaction to this and the fact that he has stayed in very frequent contact with someone that he said was having him followed and watched as well as me followed and watched just does not add up. I just don't understand why someone would even stay in communication with someone they thought was watching every move they made. Now I don't know what to do. Thanks for everyone's previous input on my first post.

The phone bill is itemized with numbers only...no names. I really don't think that he would realize I would recognize her number.

I have been seeing a man for the past nine months. The relationship started out beautifully but then the rocky road came. When we first started dating I had been out of a previous 6-year relationship for about 6 months. He said he had previously dated a particular woman on and off for the past 16 years and that it was over and the last time they had slept together was about a month before we started dating. I was managing a volunteer organizaton at the time we started dating. Ironically, about 3 weeks into our relationship a lady called my office and inquired on volunteering for the organization. I took her number home to call her back later that evening and left it on my desk. My boyfriend came over that evening and was near my desk and became extremely nervous. I did not know what was wrong with him...he just started pacing. I asked what was wrong and he said " how do you know this lady". He obviously saw the number on my desk. I explained that it was a potential volunteer that I had to call back. He stated that he knew her as well. Finally, he admitted that she was the lady that he had been with for 16 years. This sent chills up my spine. He said that the relationship with her was over and he had no intentions of being with her. I said fine....it is either a coincidence that she is calling me to volunteer or she has figured out that I am who he is with now. He said that she probably knew who I was and where I worked and was capable of having him and myself watched. I decided to let this go....told him that I cared about him enough that this would not stand between us. Did not hear from her anymore concerning volunteering for several months then finally she called again. I had my supervisor call her back and inquire whether she wanted to volunteer or not. Their conversation was short and we have not heard from her since. Just some background on the rocky parts of the relationship....I had been accused several months ago (not in a delicate way either) of sleeping with my neighbors husband. I am very good friends with the entire family and they are like an extended family to me. When the husband (he tends to speak his mind openly) first met my boyfriend he told him that I was a wonderful lady and that he thought the world of me and if he wasnt married he would have me on his arm in a minute. I know that he was just trying to let my boyfriend know that I was a good person...however, my bf did not take this in the way it was meant and began accusing us of having a secret relationship. It finally was addressed when the wife of this man called my bf and assurred him that her husband and I were not having an affair. My boyfriend tends to get agitated very easily and can vent his daily fustrations verbally and say some pretty snide remarks. I generally try to deal with these outburst as rationally as I can but have not been able to every time and have on a few occasions yelled back or said something sarcastic when I have had enough. One comment was "how often have you talked to her?" (his ex). Which he stated that she called him all the time. Last nite he asked me to pay some bills for him....which I did (with his money not mine) One was the cell phone bill. All of his calls are itemized. His ex's number was on it repeatedly (him calling her). I looked at the past months bills as well....same thing. I really care deeply for him and want to trust him and not jump to conclusions but feel that I need a solid answer. I am ok with the fact that maybe they are just to be friends....I would never deny anyone a friendship with someone else. But my gut is telling me that this may be more. Should I question him?