kimmyj

I also did not think of it that way either, "Part of being a good father is treating his daughter's mother with respect and decency, and kicking you, smoking pot, not supporting his family, arguing and drinking do not make a good husband or father. " I guess living with my parents would be a hell of a lot better than living with someone who doesn't appreaciate me, etc.

I'm glad I'm agreed with!! I love this support system, I wish my family (both sides) could really hear me out! The only thing I'm scared of is a custody battle since I really dont have money for a lawyer. Also scared since we sold our house to his parents, whom we now rent off of is not being able to afford living on our own or not. I really would like to avoid moving back at my parents house, it's too crowded, no privacy, etc. The only empty room is a finished attick! But that's it, oh and I hope when I do decide to pull this divorce final that he doesn't go all crazy on me, etc.

I do, I have been wanting a divorce on and off. This rollercoaster has been way too much for me to handle at such a young age. I have too many ambitions to go back to school this fall to be worrying about something I dont think will last forever, or something I wont be happy about for the rest of my life if I stay with him. I once was almost ready to obtain a lawyer and his father came in our home, basically begging for me to stay. I think it's because he knows I'm a good person, but I personally feel he does not deserve me. Another reason is when everytime I do leave, he does nothing but beg me and it hurts to see that. I know he loves me, but I still dont think he will change. Also, when I open my mouth to his mother it's always wrong (she's very religious) so I look like the person in wrong. And anything I told his family, they feel I'm the liar because he will tell them I am making things up, etc. The same for my family, my mom feels he really loves me and that I should stay for our daughter, etc. I so as you can see, I get no support from friends or family!

I got married when I was 19 and 9 months pregnant. We decided to get married before the baby was born so all of our names would match the birth cert. and because others felt it was the right thing to do. Another reason we got married so fast was because with me only working at the time and with a baby on the way, we would never be able to afford my princess wedding, so why not go to the courthouse?... As usual, I've come to the conclusion it was not something we shouldn't have jumped into. HAHA I got married for all of the WRONG reasons! We fought like crazy before our marriage, I had a very emotional & angry pregnancy, I was just always mad because he was never home and didn't help with anything and I worked, he didn't for about a year. (and still got married) Yeah, I'm pregnant, I'm the only one trying to keep up a $1200/month Mortgage and keep a car note, plus all the utilities (lights, gas, water, phone). As a matter of fact, we filed bankruptcy, this past March to catch up from his unemployment from 2001. I still hold a grudge. Before my marriage with this man, I had excellent credit and was much happier. Now I'm in a hole! He has hit me before, just hit no beating or anything. Our arguments have gotten physical, moreso when I was pregnant. My friend and her boyfriend who once lived with us have witnessed him kick me in the stomach 7.5 months pregnant because we were wrestling a little too hard (playful) and accidentally elbowed his face. He recently kicked me in the leg when I took the keys out of my car because why should he be allowed to drive my car when he didn't let me drive his Bronco when my car was about to fall apart? It's been 3 years we've been married since Feb 15 and it doesn't seem any different, except he's working now. Even though he now has a job, it's still not enough to help support us. His money priorities are way off! He'd rather spend money to fix up his boat, which we can't afford, than to fix up the house so we can sell it, make money off of it and get into something better. Every time I try to say anything about all what I have explained it just makes the situation worse and turns into horrible arguments, infront of our daughter. I'm not the best wife, but I think I would be a lot better on my end if he did the right thing. After all of that, plus more which I havent disclosed, I still love him. He also smokes pot which I dont agree with, even thought its on his own time. What urks me about it is that he can't freakin afford it.. It costs $50 every time he gets paid. He's been drinking more lately and it scares me. He also has obtained some fire arm since his dad has past, and I am scared because what if he gets mad at me and drinks... he a lot of the times does stupid things when he's drunk! His sisters and brothers even are sick of his sarcastic attitude. That's another thing, he makes sarcastic remarks that sometimes have hurt my family, his family and my friends. It's disgusting sometimes, because he'll say something he should only be thinking and embarrasses me. what am I supposed to do when he does that? I have to walk away. Or the other person will say something back because they didn't appreciate it and so he appears to be a "mean person". I constantly think of divorce, have been since our first year of marriage. I'm huring inside, but I dont want to hurt my daughter. He is a good father to her emotionally. PHysically, I think he could afford to spend much more time with her than he does. I am just always sick of being unhappy, I want tob e married to someone who appreciates that I work and pay for my own things and clean the house and cook everyday. Someone who will help me out when I need it as I would do the same for them. I want to be in love, for the rest of my life with someone. (No I'm no longer in love with him) IK want to b ehappy, I want everyone to be happy and I haven't been happy for a long time. I have cheated on him before, like I said I am not perfect. I would never want to hurt anyone the way I did. Not only did I hurt my husband, I also hurt my lover at the time and I hurt myself. It was wrong, and I'll never do it again. I still have feelings for the other person but I have not had any contact iwth him in about a year because there is way too much temptation. What do you think?