I have been married for almost 4 years. I used to be head over heals for my husband - he was the most wonderful man. Somewhere sometime - something has changed. He has proceeded to shock me and hurt me more than I ever thought he would. I truly believe he has cheated on me, although he won't admit it (I do have many suspicious actions that have led me to believe this, and outsiders have made comments). He has hurt me emotional to the point that I have broke down crying while on vacation with his family in front of all of them, and to top it off he was completely detached from me my entire pregnancy and he has stopped giving me gifts and things on special occaisions (valentines day, mother's day, etc) although I ALWAYS make sure I do something special for him.
Having said all that, I will say he is a good dad and he says he wants to make it work between us. The problem is, I don't. I can't let all of this go. I am so angry that he doesn't treat me with the respect or care that I give to him. Now I have grown attached to a male friend of mine, he is also married. Nothing has happened between us at all, but I think about him alot. I know he is equally attracted to me and he and his wife have thier share of difficulties too. I used to think my husband was the perfect man and now I know there is no such thing. I love my husband but I don't feel in love with him anymore. We have not been intimate in 3 months, my emotions won't allow me to be with him, I am so turned off.
I don't know what to do. Honestly I would like to just be by myself, for him to move out. I know this thing with the other man is impossible, and I surely don't want to aid in the break up/difficulties of someone elses marriage. But I just can't stop thinking about him, I want to talk to him, it doesn't even have to be sexual, ya know?
Advice is welcome! Sorry this is so long, and I feel like I've left so much out...
