MrsWise

If the dumper gets with the girl that he told you not to worry about within a month of leaving you and then comes back around months down the road when the relationship ends..would you take them back if you haven't moved on? Why or why not?

I haven't gotten back with an ex so I was wondering for those who have reconciled with an ex after some time apart ie more 6 months, did everything feel new and exciting again given the reason of the break up was resolved?

share your stories

As the title says, I found out my ex is now dating someone else and had been for the last month. It feels like a second heart break since I was still clinging to hope...at first I was numb but now it's starting to sink in and I have been bursting into tears. it's been few days..for those who have been through it,  would did it took  for he pain to subside and stop caring that they're with someone new?

My boyfriend broke with me nearly 2 months ago. At first I was shocked then numb. I still clung to hope that he will come back and it was just temporary. I was okay for the first month and half until now it's starting to sink in and I'm starting to feel the loss. And I find myself feeling sad and  crying for the last few days. does this mean the hope is gone I'm ready to let go?

It's been 6 weeks since my ex left me and I'm still harboring hope of getting back together. The break up was triggered over something I did and I double down when he expressed his disappointment. He broke it off and said we are not compatible. At the time, I felt justified and thought he overreacted. But space and time apart I can see and understand why he was upset. I did apologize post break up to no avail

Now I'm planning to wait few months post break up to reach out and take responsibility into my mistakes and things we can do to make it better and promise him  that things will be better the second time around. I'm prepared for him to reject me but I want to do it to help me move on in any event he ignore me or reject me so I will stop hoping. 

has anyone reached as dumpee and found it helped them move on when their ex rejected them
?

UPDATE 

I went to talk to the person and basically tell her not to tell me things about what happens when I'm not there or anything that people say about me. she responds and said, she was just trying to help me by putting me on guard and had no bad intention...That's when i brought couple past incidence that contradicted that and she got defensive and cut the conservation by saying if she hurt me, she is sorry but that wasn't her intention. And she won't tell me anything going forward. The conversation well that I thought. I felt a sense of relive once it was done

Thank you guys for your responses but I respectfully disagree. I have so much pent up anger and frustration that I just cant be quiet.. 

Without going into details of what I do for a living, I have better chance of being hit by striking than her becoming a supervisor. I didn't engage in drama, we chat usually about work and she will go out of way to tell me what other people did etc when I'm not around and sometimes she will complain about my work but blame it on others. If i say nothing this behavior will continue. confrontation is necessary part of life 

I was in similar situation before with a co worker who used to do something similar who would come to me and tell me hurtful things that people said about me that weren't true. I ended up going to the person she accused and tell them she was the one who said it, the person went to confront her and so did I. she stopped after that because we basically backed her in the corner and her lies caught up with her. The co worker in question thinks I'm not aware of her underhanded bs.

I appreciate your insights but my mind is already made up..

2 hours ago, Batya33 said:

You can lose your job and get blacklisted at other jobs in your field especially.  You might keep your job and she will make your life miserable if she knows people/has connections.  

Most people don't like to keep things bottled up.  Most jobs require workers at one time or another to keep things bottled up.  That's why it's called "acting professionally" -so don't keep it bottled up. 

Tell a therapist, tell a friend who knows nobody at your place of work and don't use names.  Go to your place of worship and talk to one of the spiritual leaders.  Go for a really brisk and intense run or walk and let out steam that way.  But don't choose to react by confronting your coworker, by talking about this at work (because it will come across as petty and you not playing nicely in the sandbox -she's annoying, she's not harassing you -you chose to interact with her even after she mislead you).

That's what I want to tell her to not interact with me going forward and also tell her to stop lying and exaggerate events. She doesn't have any superior positions so i'm not concerned with losing my job..this person is doing something wrong why shouldn't they be called out?

It's obvious that she things I'm unaware of the lies as she always says she doesn't want any conflict with anyone and it's angering me and I don't like to keep things bottled out. i feel better when i let things out..Whats the worse can happen by calling her out?

so I've been talking alot more to this co worker at work..We don't talk outside hours but we talk about things at work..I started noticing a pattern when she would come to me and say she heard so and so about me. Last time she was telling me that she heard some co workers saying stuff about me, and the management was on it..without going too much into detail, it didn't add up and when i verified with my supervisor she had no idea what was talking about

Recently, she told about about an incident about a co worker who replaced me when I was off and she took some of the supplies that I use for work and bring them in the basement, when I said I was going  to talk to the staff to leave the supplies on my station..She was like don't say anything the co worker will know I told you. I said no, it needs to be said..so the co worker took matters on their own hands and pretended to be on the other co worker who took the supplies side to get her to talk. This lead into confrontation between myself and the co worker who took the supplies

Afterwards ,the co worker in question came to tell me that the co worker I had confrontation with, came to her  afterwards and said my station is filthy( which is not the case) and she was gonna go report me. This later turned out to be untrue and the other person never went to talk to her all. In short, she exaggerate events, then add her own version to the story because she wants to say things without being direct, then she will say it's the other person

I want to tell this co worker to stop telling me things about other people and call them out on their lies...? will they stop if i put them on the spot?

Thank you guys for your response. The reason why I felt a pang of regret was I might have an opportunity passed me by. I figured I could have taken his number instead. Then used a texting up to text him so I can venture him out and if he turns out to be a *** then it's easy to cut contact from there. But my natural reflex at the time was to lie about my material status in the moment. would you think there was reason for that?

our exchange was quick so there was no time for chit chat since he was in traffic and I was a pedestrian 

Today, I had a random guy asked me for my number while he was on red light. I was caught off guard so I said I'm not single even though I am..so now part of me regrets not taking his number. what are chances of them asking random numbers from girls in public?

47 minutes ago, Rose Mosse said:

It is anyone’s guess but the main takeaway is that she can’t be trusted. 

Now that you know she’s like this, keep your distance. Do you need to talk to her at work? 

What do the other employees think of her? Are they upset with her as well or do they avoid her as much as possible? 

unfortunately we have to interact for work since we directly work together. She appears to be a very nice person on surface so I don't think anyone knows her true colours if they do then they didn't warn me or make it known

This lady at work whom I thought was genuine person has always seemed nice and polite. she has always kept me in the loop about everything that has been going on at work when I'm not around. however, I recently caught her in lie when one of my friends who is also a co worker worked after me. The lady in question came to me and told that a coworker who worked after me was complaining about not having supplies and blaming everything back to me. I was confused because I had told my friend what she needed ahead of time so she will come prepared. so I was mad and confronted my friend to which she vehemently  denied and was quite upset by these accusations and it turned out the lady made everything up. 

Fast forward last week, the lady in question told me about a different staff member who made comments about how lazy I am and the other people who replace me are always picking up slacks. Of course I was skeptical this time so I went directly to the person asked them and of course the lady flipped and twisted what the other person had said. but the second victim decide to confront her next time she sees her. I also verified with another co worker who was there to which they confirmed that those remarks were not said. So this time I  told the lady to stop lying to me and what she is doing is causing a toxic workplace environment. To which she responds by saying she never lied and was just looking out to me. Then she apologized.

Now looking back, I notice a pattern of this lady always telling what so and so said bout me and now I started spotting holes in her stories including things she had said about others. Why would anyone do this? just to make someone feel bad?

One of my co worker tried to purse a sexual relationship with me by texting me outside work . We had each other's contact info since we had communicate about shift exchanges etc. Then all sudden I noticed, he started texting me more outside work. The message were random and goofy. I didn't think much of it since we were friendly at work. Then they started escalating to more sexual messages. I wasn't comfortable with direction things were heading so I made it clear . The texts stopped and things continue as normal. Now months later, he hugged me when no one is around and wouldn't let go then kiss my neck. Now he's always trying to sieze opportunity to hug especially when we are alone...Is he trying to start things again ?

1 hour ago, Tinydance said:

I think the reason why I wouldn't want to rent from him firstly would be the cash reason. I'm not sure what country you're in but here in Australia all landlords and tenants always have a legal lease agreement, which they both sign. Australia has very strict renting laws which are usually respected. Signing the lease document gives the tenant all their legal rights and legal protection in case something bad should happen.

For example, here if things break in the place on their own, e.g. tap begins to leak, the landlord has to pay to fix it. If they are not fixing anything, you can contact higher legal organisations who will protect you. But not having the lease document means you really have no proof that you are even renting from that person. There is nothing to show and cash in hand is illegal, so really the only thing that person could do would be to move out.

Also for me it would be the fact that I'm renting from a man who basically lives in the same place. I'm not automatically saying that just being a man he would hit on you or anything but personally I would probably prefer to rent from a female or at least gay man if I'm sharing the space. What would happen of one of you becomes interested in the other or even you both do? If you hooked up but it didn't work out, it'd be very awkward. But to me personally the fact he's man and your colleague is a more minor issue and the cash I  hand payments are the real problem. Unless you're in a country where this is normal and things are often done "under the table". Which I know they are in some countries.

I live in Canada and the property owner has to claim all of their income tax. So I feel like he's trying to invade paying taxes by requesting cash. Also, I can claim my rent on my taxes so this situation will not work for me

46 minutes ago, Rose Mosse said:

I would not do something like this especially in your case. You need to be careful also with paying in cash and have a paper trail or some receipt of each payment. 

Is it the guy from your Oct 2020 thread? 

 

It's the same man of this thread 

One of the man that work at my work but in different department informed me some time ago that he's looking for someone to rent his basement apartment. But at the time I had already signed a lease and moved where I'm currently staying. Now my lease is ending in few months and I asked him some again recently if he found someone to which he said NO..he wants to rent to someone he knows. He also want cash for rent and we could agree on the rent. Then he told me if I want I can come to look at the place. It's basically a separate unit in the basement, with access to your own entrance and amenities. But shared parking . I've been contemplating it since I need to move from where I'm currently staying because of pests issues. But part of me doesn't feel comfortable and feel like it would be awkward since we work for the same company. I'm also a type of person who like my own privacy so I wonder if he would be in my business even though it will be a separate unit would you do this?