Caterina

dont wanna fuel this fire anymore, but you did say "Asians make up about less than 1% of the population"

 

about less than 1% .....yes you said about, but you also said 'less' and 1% which is no where near 'about' 5%.

Obviously you do. The point was, its not a large number. I'm not going to get into this with you guys, think what you want. I really don't give a flip.

1) Again, I said "about".

2) Interesting that there are no whites in Asian movies but whites are always purchasing Asian products/movies like anime and the like.

3)I really have no motivation to prove to you otherwise. I'm just pointing out the truth.

4) Fellow Asians are "clueless" about it, b/c you just want to whine about something that has no basis in reality. Just taking advantage of the fact that being Asian is a racial distinction in the Americas. But so it being white.

I said "about". California isn't representative of America.

No, it's not the only reason. It's b/c Hollywood is racist. Either that or the audience is racist, they don't want to see an Asian man as the lead. Jet Li? All he plays is karate master type roles. When has he been the romantic lead? Dean Cain? Dude don't look that Asian. They won't cast a full Asian male lead except for Harold and Kumar.

 

Let's not pretend there isn't racism against us in this society esp in f'ed up Hollywood. There is plenty of it, not that we should use that as an excuse in dating or any other endeavor.

Give me a break. The one Philipino in my school was the homecoming king and every girl wanted him, including me.

Asians make up about less than 1% of the population in America, hence the lack of roles in American movies. Why are there no whites in Japanese/Indian/Korean/"Asian" movies? Are they racist?

They're catering to a market.

Ghost was being sarcastic. Asian American men are in few numbers in america, thats the only reason they aren't the main love character. But, look at Jet Li, he's Asian and the romantic lead. And so is that one guy from Jungle Book. The guy who played Superman is half Asian (Dean Cain). I'm sure there are more.

I hate this guy.

I can relate to the idea of ordered and allowed. Essentially working with another human being in a relationship there is always an unwritten contract that you've entered.

I think you guys are more than friends and you need to be a man and claim it as such. Take her on dates.

I'm shy. I was tormented by schoolchildren growing up and have very overbearing parents.

I think its better that you have chosen to not be in a relationship until you view people differently. Try talking to a child about something simple...look at how beautiful a young child can be...they're really adorable and innocent. When you see the beauty of a human being instead of focusing on the decay, you'll be able to understand why relationships are important. Steer clear of romantic relationships until you are ready for mutual respect/kindness.

I think we've all been in a slump similar to this. It comes from bad circumstances. When you finally get your mind to grasp aroudn the idea that you will have to fight to be happy, it will be better. SOmetimes you need to make a change.

I was majorly shy as a child. I am the youngest of 3- both my sister and brother were very outgoing. My sister even got class clown in high school. Very outgoing. My brother put me down alot and we were close in age. I also had a very critical mother- even though my parents didn't divorce til I was 16. I don't think I was born this way. I def think it had to do with siblings and mother.

They say that this is actually a very common dynamic...an overly outgoing sibling will shadow out the less aggressive sibling.

don't we all.......

No, don't assume that. There are many men who are interested in something real.

Well, its complicated. One part of me says go for it...kiss him. See if you can kill your own curiosity. See if something develops. However, the other part says "don't bother". The guy is annoyingly sitting by while you are sending him super signals. He's acting like he doesn't care...he's playing coy. He's lazy...he wants you to do all the work. He'attracted, but not interested. It would be most advantageous to back off but only if you won't sit around moping forever over him. If you're attracted, go for it, but try to keep feelings in check...rarely works but you know...really hard to say. Do what you think is best.

Just poke her, its harmless. If she's interested, she'll flirtaciously respond.

Just have some discipline. Go on group dates and stay away from private places like bedrooms and living rooms where no one is with you.

I tell people that they are sweet all the time if they are. It is in no way indicative of romantic interest for me though.

I believe in fate but I don't think that fate determines everything. I think that fate is the push of the universe but that we have the free will to make decisions that are limited to our surroundings but still somewhat outside of the pull of fate. I think that fate and will and insignificant circumstantial happenings are all intertwined to create what ultimately becomes what happens. I don't think that there is "one" person for everyone but there might be one person for some? I know that I personally hold onto the faith that there is a special one man out there that I will finally connect and fall in love with. I guess we all know that there is no way of knowing, really. Still, its fun to ask/speculate. Plus, its interesting to see what people will convince themselves of when it comes to the "love of their lives..." if only to understand where people come up with these kind of conclusions.

Its a difference, and its one I'm convinced of. I'm bowing out.

huh?.. im lost

I'm having a disagreement with two moderators on another topic that branched from the original.

I'm sorry, but I disagree. I think that generalizations make a point stronger at times. I never said all men do anything so I don't know why that idea keeps being brought up.

Oh ok. Makes sense.

Generalizations exist for a reason. How else are people going to categorize? Categorization has its problems and ethical considerations but its great for organization.

Normally I would not respond to a thread like this because I cannot relate to OP problem. Although I do agree that the OP should NOT be attacked because of the SHE feels. I wanted to add my two cents here because what he said was very tactless and is something he could learn to keep to himself.

 

As for Caterina I have to say I have TAKEN offense to the quote above. NOT ALL MEN ARE IGNORAMUSES! Most men are actually good people and they get their feelings hurt all the time too. People will be people no matter what the gender is.

Did I say all men? Where did I say all men? I love intelligent men...I LOVE INTELLIGENT MEN. They're sexy and of course they exist.

Its again about boundaries. Personally, I wouldn't care if a guy I was with said that. What I'm against is acting like someone is crazy because they have different boundaries.

keep it as discrete as possible though. office romances are very tricky. possible love? are you that desperate to find a mate? you shouldn't be thinking about love with this person yet. you try to hard. you haven't even seen them outside of work. that's just nuts to me.

 

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I wasn't talking about myself. I was speaking hypothetically.

I'm angered that every time I see a post similar to this...the OP is attacked as though she's feeling something entirely out of the norm. A LOT of women feel this way and thereforeeee it is something that should be addressed and not squelched. The typical American male may find this behaviour normal, but maybe the typical American female doesn't. Instead of telling her to "seek help" maybe you could actually consider that so many women feel insecure about this for a justified reason. I don't give a flying loop about what the typical male does...the typical male is an ignoramus...I only care about what my SO does...and part of me wouldn't like him ogling at other women either.