Hello, I have been married just over a year. I'm 32 years old an I married a 33 year old man. We have always been good friends. Our relationship was tough. At the beginning his mother was sick and we helped her pass together. Before she was even sick we had quite a few fights about another woman that was a close friend of his. She was very rude to me and possive of him,.. it took awhile,.. but I accepted her and we see her out and they stilll talk. With all that was going on,.. him in school,.. building a house his mother being sick,.. I think I made every excuse as to why he did'nt want to make love to me... I would advance and he would turn over. If I got upset,.. he would go to sleep. This upset me. It pretty much describes our honeymoon. I tried,..changing in front of him,.. not changing... looking sexy,..I started to hide my body,... thinking maby he would notice if he did'nt see it for awhile.. Then I became unsettled even wearing a swimsuit.. After about 7 months I started to notice other men,.. Just enjoyed them flirting with me,.. ect,.. Then I met one I liked,.. we became close on line and see eachother on business trips,... i feel a connection with him and I feel VERY guilty about it. I am a married woman,.. When this happened I became aware that I was no longer attracted to my husband,.. I asked him to go with me to counsiling. He said no,.. I asked hime to leave,.. he then said yes,... I told him that I don't understand why we are only close when he want's to... so far 5 times in over a year... He said it was because of the fights we had 3 years ago over that other woman. Things have been ok,... with her for some time. He said that if I ever get angry at him that he fears it will turn out like it did so long ago... I know that having a friendship with another man is wrong,.. and I have distanced myself,.. but I have this feeling that my husband does'nt love me that way a "man loves a woman" I am supporting him,.. and I feel that I've done a lot more good than bad,.. Rejecting me on our honeymoon was awful and ever since then I wonder,.. is this that man I want to spend the rest of my life with?
