I met a girl through friends during a holiday trip over the New Year. I didn't hurry things and we both realsied that we were both very attracted to each other. After about 2-3 days of my first talking openly to her she told me that she loved me and that the relationship was serious. A couple on vacation upon hearing that we were together were delighted - at least the husband was who has known here for 15 years, his wife was more sceptical and told me over dinner (after the girl had left to go home) in front of everyone else that the girl was emotionally disturbed and she felt that knowing our characters we would both have problems. Ther girl contacted me every night via text messages, no phone calls and I thought nothing of it as I knew she had come down with a tummy bug. Anyhow when I went down to London to visit here she was very cold and withdraw, although whenever she visited me (once in total) she was very warm and loving. She would travel a lot and again text messages would ensue, although she got mad with me when I sent here a text saying - lets spice things up how about some x rated stuff? When we eventually met up she told me that she was still annoyed with me and that I needed to find my true self and she told me that I wasn't being myself with her when I visited her. I got upset about this and discussed it with the couple that we both knew who told me that it was all wrong and she tends to push men away for her work and her family relationship is poor due to her parents divorce when she was 15 (she now 34). He calls her at her flat but she never answers - in fact she hasn't seen him in 10 years. I tried to arrange Valentines dinner with her and bought her a lovely hermes scarf, but she wouldn't respond to my texts which drove me mad, even though after our row she told me to call. Any how I lost the plot one night and texted her early in the moring and told her that she was the one with emotional problems not me, and this had been caused by the fact that the first man in her life (her father) had rejected her, in additon I said that I might not be perfect but she should take a good look at herself - I said she was selfish, overweight, chainsmoking, workaholic. Her response was simple - she rang the wife and complained like hell about me and made me out to be deranged. She texted saying' given the text message you have sent me in the last 24 hours I can see that given the way you feel about me that you could never make me happy and vice versa. Best of luck in the future. Please don't contact me again.' I know I said those things out of anger and I do regret it.
I wrote a letter in response to her enclosing the scarf and told her that I loved her but she had to understand that a relationship was a two way thing and that I could not build it via text messages or her not being staright with me. My friends don't discuss the issue at all - the wife told me off down the phone, however another friend told me that the girl was screwed up and there was little I could do but give it time. The od thing is that if she really hated me why not send the scarf back? The other friend a woman suggested that I don't text here at all and left evereything calm down and maybe if I feel that I still love her then write to her in 6 months time. I know most people out there would say I should put the whole matter down to experience and move on but I really love this woman and I know she loves me too, but she comes from a family that cannot communicate and is so career focussed everthing else including men is secondary. What do I do?
