shun ten satsu

After many hours of deep though, frustration, and tears, I have decided to break up with him. I know it's the cowards way out, but I wrote a letter to him containing my thoughts and had a good friend of mine deliver it to him. Here it is: Tommy, I've always loved being your friend. When you asked me to be your girlfriend, I would have much rather just stayed your close friend, but I didn't want to hurt you by saying no. These past few months have been very nice, but I feel you love me 100 times more than I love you. I wish like anything I didn't have to do this, but the more I wait the more this is going to hurt the both of us. Please, try to understand, I still want to be your friend, I don't want to stop talking to you. You're a very kind special person, and that's why it feels so wrong pretending to love you. I feel so cruel doing this to you at all, let alone this close to valentines day, but like I said, the longer I wait the harder its going to be. And please understand, this is nothing that you did. I'm the one who did something wrong by telling you I loved you when I really didn't mean it. I'm so sorry. I hope you don't think I'm a bad person for doing this, though I wouldn't blame you if I did. You're such a nice person that I know you'll find someone that truly loves you one day. Just please, consider staying friends with me. Even though I don't love you in that way, I could never hate you. Please, be honest. Did I handle this well?

I'm in quite a dilemma here. There is a boy who I go to school with, I met him in the beginning of freshman year. He was over 300 lbs. and didn't have many friends. Noticing that he was quite lonely, I began to talk to him. We soon discovered that we enjoyed many of the same things and had a lot in common. I introduced him to my group of friends and we all soon became close friends. By the beginning of sophomore year, he wanted more than a friendship. Though this didn't take me by complete surprise, I wasn't planning on a relationship, I was even somewhat avoiding it. However, he was a nice boy, and I would probably be the only girl he could have a chance with in high school, not to mention I didn't want to hurt him by saying no. So, I half-heartedly agreed to go out with him. I tried to love him, I tried my very hardest to ignore his flaws and enjoy the relationship. But, then I realized: how can there ever be a real relationship if I have to try at all, let alone painfully hard to love who I'm with? And now...the plot thickens. I have recently began talking with one of my neighbors who is my age. We have much in common and we became fast friends. He's a shy, sort of skittish boy with a childlike wonderment that makes him very cute and easy to love. I am more than ready to have a relationship with him, however, I don't believe in cheating no matter how bad a relationship is going. I'm also not quick to dump a man either. In fact, this is the first time I've had to do it. I can't begin to tell you how hard this is. After he constantly thanks me for going out with him, after he tells me how he used to hate valentines day but this year it was going to be different. How am I supposed to tell him I don't love him when he's so deeply and seriously in love with me? I don't want to do it. I dread it. I feel so cruel for doing this, and yet it has to be done. How can a one-sided relationship ever truly be love? It can't. That isn't love. I wish I could say that this breakup would be better for the both of us, but unfortunately I can't. To me, this breakup will be like a huge weight lifted off my shoulders, but its going to kill him. He's not the type of man that would do something drastic such as hurt me or himself, but I know he'll cry. I know he'll be depressed for a long time. I have to see this man every day, how am I supposed to face him after putting him through that kind of pain? And after his parents said how I'm such a nice girl, how am I to face them after their son comes home crying because of me? I would love to remain good friends with him, but how can I do that after I hurt him so badly? Please, I'm in desperate need of advice and support. I just don't think I can do this on my own.