ok, well, I just need some feedback, or advice, I have a problem, Im 16 and I feel really depressed alot of times, I dont think I would ever commit suacide (because of the whole heaven and hell issue) but I wish i would die all the time, like will get hit by a car or just be shot for no reason and i do sometimes think about suacide alot, but that is not why I am posting, but, I realized that I am an alcoholic at age 16, when i get drunk, it is always alone, in my room or in the bathroom at school in the morning, I do not drink sociably, I dont try and have fun when i drink, nobody knows im drunk, because im quiet and keep to myself, i just get really deep into thought. I started drinking when I was really young because it was always easy to get it, but for the last while i have been drinkin everyday, i didnt really see it as a problem, but i guess it is when im doing it everyday, for no reason, alone, just because it makes me feel better abotu things. I dont have a bad life, i guess i am pretty lucky, because i am not poor, (im not rich either) but i do have problems with my family, me and my oldest brother do not get along, my dad is always yelling at something and it gets to everyone, my mother simply annoys me and i only get along with my other brother, at school, i guess i have lots of friends, but im kinda shy, so i really dont talk much, people usually say hi to me before i say anything to them unless thye are a close friend. ONe problem I had lately is i just ended the first relationship ive ever been in, it was hard for me, and now i hate my ex, even though i am friendly to her. I cry thinking about her, There is a girl I really liek and have always liked, but never got a chance to talk to her, shes very beautiful, ans smart and everything abotu her seems perfect for me, but she is way out of my leauge and I try to stop thinking abotu her because it is just a dream ( shes not one of those extremely popular girls that everyone has a crush on, its different than that) , and lately ive been cutting away from people, i liek being by myself. for the last couple months ive been coming home and staying in my room in the basement in the dark listening to music and drinking. Nobody knows about how I really am, what I am doing, my parents are jsut annoyed i stay in the basement all the time. I never used to ever like to say i was stressed out or depressed, i never thoguht i had a good reason too, i still dont think i have a really good reason to, but i think i am really depressed, i am confused why thoguh, its seems like i just am, has anybody gone through anything simular, or have advice, help or something to comment about? thanks.
