pennyhtaylor

Well, he called --thank God--and we discussed. I am young in the deployment thing, I am 40 .yo. , twin stepdaughters age 19, and my husband is in his 25th year with NGuard. We talked about the emailing explicitlty before he left and how just a brief response, "can't talk...gotta go" would suffice and that he would have someone there to contact me to tell me he woud have to be incommunicado for X pd of time as it occurred. So, we talked about it tonight and it said there's no excuse and I feel better, just have to see how it goes from here. I, of course, told him how proud I was of him, the mission he is on, etc, so it was good. I want to thank all of you for your input. I hope that our conversation was productive, for him to know that I care and that I do need him, that everything at home is fine and waiting fir him, for me to know that he will try to remind I am not forgotten. Thanks everyone fo input!

I agree that if someone will cheat to be with you they will cheat on you. Also, the distance of the relationship she has with him is irrelevant. My husband is in the military, in Iraq and i am in the US and he'll be gone for a year or a year and a half. Even if he was just my boyfirned would it make one bit of difference how far away we are from each other? Of course not. If you and she are meant to be together then you will both be free and available to do so when the time is right, and can have an honest relationship. Why would you ask someone you like or care about to be dishonest? Do you like dishonest people?

I hope you are all right that there's nothing to worry about. The silence is just deafening and especially knowing that he gets my messages but doesn't reply just hurts my feelings, especially since we so explicitly talked about this very thing arising and I spelled out exactly what I would like an dhe agreed that if he'd be unablt to contact me he'd have someonw else there at least email me to say he'd be out of pocket and unable to call or email for however many days. Perhaps I jsut need to remind him. I do know he is busy and am really trying to be patient and understanding.

Sounds like you are both saying to just ask him what's going on and tell him how I feel and what I need? That's what my draft message does, I'd really rather talkt o him on the phone but I can't call him. Sounds like the best advice, just looking for reassurance that I am not expecting something unreasonable. He set the expectation that i would hear from him via email daily, after all. I am worried about his safely, and about our relationship, of course. Thank you both.

Brand new here and looking for advice. I am a newleywed, June 12, 2004. My husband was in the natinal guard and got depolyed to Iraq. he has been there a month. He was on active duty in the states and called every day and we saw each other as much as we could before he left the US. It only costs him 2 cents a min to call and he knows he can call anytime of day or night. I email him daily and he doesn't usually reply. He does hate to write, but has written me 1 letter. He is busy, I know, but emailed me the first day he got there and said he'd email me every day, we bought him a new laptop before he left. I have drafted a message but haven't emailed it to him, am trying to be patient and understanding. he and I talked at length about communicating via email before he left. I know for sure he opens my messages. Any advice?