MrLonely

My ex just turned 20, she has not had the whole party-hooking up experience. We were together 1.5 years, and she now needs to "live".

I dont hold it against her, its just not the right time i guess.

Congrats! Were you guys apart long?

I dont find it feels much like christmas.....

Any one else feel like this?

This was the third time she called since she told me she missed me about a month ago.

The first two times, she talked of weird stuff - and it seemed like just a reason to call.

I dunno why, I didn't really want to hear her voice - It hurts.

Ok - i guess i misunderstood?

When you said "The last thing they will be thinking about it you"....I thought is that all i deserve after 1.5 years??

And Rich, she did contact me after 3 weeks to tell me she missed me, blah blah....And we hung twice. She was not having the time of her life, as you said.

She called last night - i ignored it. But, I did send her a disney e-card, reminiscent of our trip to Disney World this past July. She hasn't read it yet.

Ok - i dont understand.... too much 'nog i think...

You said "the last thing they are thinking about is us" then "what makes you think they are happy"...

Why would they be unhappy?

confused...

That actually makes me feel worse.

First xmas without her...and i am very alone. Got the family around, but doesn't cut it.

She called last night, I ignored it. She has been calling somwhat infrequently lately.

It's only been 6 weeks.

Merry Christmas

Yup. NC Here...

She called earlier - I ignored it. Too difficult to answer.

Absense is to love as wind is to fire. Extinguishes the small and inflames the great.

If thats true, what a saying!

Yeah, we were only friends for a short while before we got together, then we were together a year and half.

Well...done some more thinking on this...and even more confused

Any help?

Thats what I am thinking, and being in a position where she now randomly calls - i want to act the best way possible to help the situation.

Any more comments would be appreciated.

I was just reading this article on how to intepret the phone calls from your ex when she has broken up with you.

link removed

I am confused about this part...

First off, it's very difficult to call someone you've dumped and if you receive a cold reaction on top of that, it's like a huge slap in the face. At this point, if your ex had any doubts about dumping you, these doubts just increased. If you still want to be with her, you could play the cold as ice game until she comes running back...begging.

How is it that a cold reaction will make them miss or increase their doubts? Make them run back more? I would think that it would tell them they lost you, or is this what makes them work harder???

Thanks

Thanks S&D,

It was weird seeing her at her house, mad me really miss the wonderful life i used to have with her. And i did see her room with all my pics still up everywhere, like nothing has changed.

It's really funny; somtimes I think i am doing great, then next absolutly horrible.

It's great though to be able to come here and speak your mind, and have others, who have gone through much the same, to offer advice.

Thx again.

Ok, back to NC.

Last time I did that, I went about a week, and she made the first contact - telling me she missed me and all that. We hung twice and then she said was freaking out about it and ignored me for a week.

Then this past week she started calling and msg me again, with silly reasons - is she just looking for a reason to call? Seems like it...

So, i will go back to NC. I need it

She called again.

Should I really be answering? Why is she calling and using this "excuses" to justify her calling.

Is there more to this? Should I just ignore them?

Besides her calling, i am still sinking deeper - i think i am at the worst point yet.

Perhaps she sees what a great guy you are and feels you're definitely worth being with in a long-term relationship, but maybe that isn't exactly what she wants right now. Good Luck to you.

Interesting...anyone else back this up

on another note, does anyone else going through a break up have a roller coaster of emotions? one minute, i feel like who needs that jerk, an hour later i'm crying thinking i can't live without him? it's enough to make me crazy. I wish there was a way to make the feeling of "who needs the jerk stick"! thanks again!

I feel like that everyday, and it's been almost 6 weeks She has made contact, but only to confuse me so far.

I'll second that - i sent a letter AND some songs i wrote and recorded....

Felt like a fool, still do. BUT, it did help the healing process, did nothing to get her back. That was a lllooonnngggg time ago...

Another update...

She called again tonight, to tell me she is gonna fail her exam

After a couple mins, she said "I dont really know why I called"...then we chatted some more and that was it.

y?

....just venting.....but if you want to say somthing...

Thanks.

We did hang out twice, she cried, talked, all that.

I just need to vent tonight - it's been a hard day.

I hoping for the "miss" as opposed to the "mess"

Seriously, she hasn't called in 6 weeks, why now? She normally justs messgs.

I'm guessing she wanted an excuse to call. (hoping as well).

Ok, you got me confused now.

Thanks.

Last time I did NC, she starting talking to me in a week. All over me.

She just seems to want her to keep her options open, at 20, not wanted to settle down too much. Yet stay friends since knows we will be back together.

I understand. When i was 20, i didn't want a committed relationship at all.

But, I still love her very much. Just cant sit around forever and wait.