I have had a friend for the past 16 years, since we started college. We are as close as close can be. However, we never dated in a romantic sense (only friend dates). When we met I was too intimidated by her to pursue anything, even as I fell in love with her. By the time I had matured enough to be over my intimidation, she had a serious boyfriend and my sense of ethics kept me at bay. Eventually, I got married and soon after so did she. We have kept in close contact, even accross great distance. We tell each other EVERYTHING that is bothering us. Her marriage is on the rocks; so is mine. In neither case does our friendship have any relevance to the problems in the respective marriages. The problems are there even if she and I never spoke again. I feel so at peace talking to her; a peace I don't get at home. She is my best friend and I, hers. I've gotten to the edge, now, of telling her I love her as more than a friend, consequences be damned. I am tired of "playing it safe." On the one hand, I do NOT want an affair with her because I would not want any future we might have to bear the weight of that taint. She and I are both very eithical and feel a very real sense of obligation to our vows, though both of us are considering seperations. On the other hand, I am terrified that if I don't speak up, she might meet someone that triggers her to leave her husband and yet again I will have missed the boat. Plus, as Harry said to Sally, "When you think you have met the person to spend the rest of your life with, you want the rest of your life to start right NOW!" Hiding my true feelings kills me. Can (should?) I honestly reveal my feelings and more or less say, "Look, we are both married, but if that should change, for reasons having nothing to do with us, would you think about me?"
