So, two years ago I moved away with the guy I was dating at the time. That didn't work out and a good friend from home (male) really did a lot to help me through it. He was also going through a break up around the same time, so we talked a lot and tried to cheer each other up. The weird thing about it, is that he had been dating my friend (she broke up with him to date someone else, she was not so great to him) and eventually he ended up telling me that he liked me.
At the time, I was certainly not over my break up and felt awkard potentially becoming romantically involved with this person who had dated my friend. So, I said I just couldn't do it. We continued to become closer friends and I know that he still had romantic feelings for me.
The whole thing kind of came to head when I finally met someone else I was attracted to and we started casually seeing each other. This upset my friend to no end, even though, he too, had started dating someone else.
So we didn't talk for a while, like 6 months or so I'd say and then about a month before I moved back to IL we started talking again. About a month after I'd been back and we'd been hanging out/talking casually, it was clear that a lot of old feelings were still present and I was now finally over old things that would not allow me to act on any feelings I might have had for him before.
The problem is, he has a girlfriend, they've been together for over a year and her life is pretty tough. She depends on him for a lot and he says it would ruin her life if he broke up with her. But, at the same time, he does everything he can to not let me end our affair. It's been going on for a couple of months and he says he's neglecting her and she can tell something is strange and he feels stuck and like he can't do what he wants to do. He's said, essentially, that he's staying with her for her, or because he feels like he needs to since she hasn't done anything wrong and is totally innocent in the whole situation. He says he has so much doubt about whether or not he's doing the right thing and reconsiders it daily. But he also says that he wants to be with me. I mean he cries about it all the time. I don't know what to do. He spends so much time talking to me and explaining to me how much he cares about me, and he sees me anytime he can and contacts me as much as possible, multiple times a day usually.
I know I should get out of the situation, but he's not making it easy on me. I feel like it's consuming me. My heart breaks either way, he stays with her and let's me go, my heart breaks. He fights to keep me, my heart breaks.
Can he really care about me as much as he says he does? Is he in love with her or just guilty? Do I wait to see if he'll break up with her?
Any thoughts are more than welcome.
