bullmoose99

Thanks for all the advice. I did talk with my gf about this and though we both ended up a little on the sad side at first remembering stupid things done in the past, I think it turned out for the best. She understood completely about why I felt the way I did and she let me know that she felt the same way about me even though she never met or even saw the girls I had been with before her. She told me that if she had the opportunity she would take it all back in a heartbeat. When I asked her if she would mind not speaking to this guy anymore, she agreed immediately even going as far as erasing his AIM name and blocking it. She said the only time she had said anything to him over the past months was a couple IM convo's when the kid was putting suicidal messages in his profile. I wasn't aware of that. That's fair in my book, as much as I hate him, I would't wish death on anybody. What's more I think this pretty much eliminates any doubts I might have had about her feelings for me and what she thinks about this a-hole, wouldn't you? We've agreed to start over again like these people never existed. Thanks for the tips...I think it really helped.

So this might sound weird, but I figured I would give it a shot somewhere. My gf and I have been dating for 9 months, and I love her to no end. There has never been anyone in my life that I have cared so much for. Everything seemed absolutely perfect until we opened up to each other about our past relationships. I had been with a couple girls before her and admitted that I thought they were mistakes, because while I was dating them for longer periods of time, I didn't love them. She responded that before going out with me she had slept with a couple of guys as well, echoing my feelings that they were complete mistakes that she absolutely regrets and hates herself for. I was fine with all of this until I found out from her that I knew at least one of the guys she was with, and he's a complete egomaniacal jerk. Not only did she get with him, but I was at the party with them when their little romp began, watching them go at each other on the dance floor. She told me that had I made a move on her that night she would never have hooked up with this piece of work. Its not that I can't forgive her for it happening, because I already have. I'm not angry with her because if it was just a mistake brought on by beer goggles as she claims, we all them. The thing I can't stand is a feeling of guilt that I should have done something to keep her from getting with this guy...he's the kind of person that brags to anyone that will listen about how many inexperienced girls he can tag. Whats more, she still talks with this guy every once in a while, even though she says that she has no interest in him; I don't want him gloating about bagging her behind her back. I have considered out and out destroying him in a fight, but I think that would only make things twenty times worse, especially with my gf. Why can't I live with it? What should I do about it? I find myself obsessed with, as corny as it may sound, trying to defend my girl's honor. I am just about 100 percent sure that this is the person I want to spend my life with, but I don't want to leave feelings like this in the rafters to explode sometime later with what might be horrible consequences. I felt like we cheated each other by not waiting to fall in love in the first place, but this latest revelation has absolutely turned me inside out. Any advice on how to deal with this situation would be soooo helpful!! I am all ears!