Apologies if I ramble on, never had to do this before and find it awkward pouring my heart out to complete strangers...
I have been with my partner for 12 years, there was an instant attraction that we both felt, and while we are not married we may as well be, our relationship has had it's up's and downs we are (or at least I thought we were) very happy together.
Her career is doing great and I've always supported her fully (even though she works 60+ hours a week) This year we sorted out our finances (they were in a mess but are controllable now) and fixed up our home so it looks great.
here's the problem... Our sex life has been steadily declining over the past 3 or 4 years to the point where when we did have sex there was no emotion, the quicker it was over the better seemed to be the call of the day, foreplay did not exist at all. I felt she only did it because I initiated, this always made me feel bad and I would just lie next to her frustrated for another few months. I've always put this down to her being tired and streesed from work but even when I tried to be extra romantic on her days off she would say that she knew why I was doing it and that put her off the mood. This has been a problem for me because I still have a strong sex drive.
Last week she told me that she is no longer physically attracted to me but still loves me 'like a brother' and wants to be with me... from what I can get out of her, and it's very hard to get a dialouge on the subject, it appears she wants to change our relationship so that we are 'good friends', like sleep in separate rooms but share all the other parts of our life. She says she has not been interested in looking for anyone else. I love her more than ever and she knows this, I'm so confused and mixed up, all I want is a 'normal' loving relationship and doesn't that include intimacy and lovemaking once in a while? I really can't imagine life without her. If it wasn't for this damned sex issue our lives would be great, I'm going thruogh so many emotions, hurt, fear and anger, sadness, whenever I try to talk to her about it I end up saying something mean and instantly regret it or bursting into floods of tears.
I suggested councelling last night but she instantly said 'no, it's a waste of time'. This morning she said I could book a councellor, but i'm not sure how much conviction was in her voice, she's been very calm throughout this whole thing, while I've been an emotional trainwreck.
My boss sent me home today as I was so upset, what do I do? is there any chance we can rekindle our passion, will she ever regain those lost feelings, can I live life without any sexual contact or am I better to give in and move on?
I have no idea what to do next!
Someone, anyone please help!