Ok here is my story. I have been dating someone for almost 4 years (it will be in 2 months). We are best friends and I truly love him a lot. We have had our rough spots and we have broke up once for a month and got back together. It was the hardest thing I have ever had to go though. I thought I was going to die without him. He said that we weren't right for each other and he couldn't give me what I wanted (to get married) because he wasn't ready and didn't know if he ever would be. He said that I deserve those things that he wanted me to be happy.
I was in so much pain from this it kind of hit me unexpected. Here is a little back story we had been dating for about 7 months and he cheated on me with the neighbor next door. I was crushed this guy had tried to get me to go out with him for ever and I never would (had kind of a playboy rep) big shock huh! I gave in. I feel in love so hard, then he did this to me it crushed me. I don't know how many of you have ever felt that but my heart was ripped from my chest and I was numb for weeks.
Before me he had never been in a relationship before in 26 years just for about month or so at a time and then he would dump the girl when he was done he had never been in love. He never had his consequences affect someone else before until he saw what he did to me. He would call me crying and say how much he never meant to hurt me and that he really screwed up and blah blah blah. We have all heard that before.
Well anyway back to the break up he said that even thought the cheating event happened early in the relationship I still after all this time didn't completely trust him and that we couldn't be in a relationship without trust. So that was that. We had decided to sit down and talk after a month and realized that we both still very much loved each other. We decided to give it another try. Since then about 6 months ago we have been doing great and getting along great. We still have our problems but so does everyone else who has been with someone as long as we have. He loves me and I love him. Now that I have said all that here is the problem.
We hang out in a pretty big group of friend and there is this guy that is a friend of a friend and so on and so forth blah! We don't know each other very well but we have hung out from time to time. He is married and has a child. His wife is never with him and he is always out with his friend. He plays on a sports team and we always get together after there games. On several different occasions we have talked and every time we do I feel like we are attracted to each other. He has on several occasions made the effort to talk to me and he looks at me in the eyes and and smiles at me and is truly interested in what I have to say.
There is this vibe between us I feel it and I know that he does too. Over the weekend when we were all out one night he sat there and talked to me for like 45 minutes and nothing else matter it was just the two of us. Then he had to leave and gave me a hug. Then we all left and went back to my boyfriend's house and he (my boyfriend) asked along with some of his friends why was I glowing. I don't know what to do.
The more I think about it the more I really think I like this guy I mean really like him. We have so much more common than me and my boyfriend. HE IS MARRIED @!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! What am I thinking? I have been on the receiving end of a cheating relationship and it was the worst feeling of betrayal I can't do that to some one else. The feelings I am having are so strong I could even make love to my boyfriend last night I felt so guilty. My boyfriend is so great he is not a jealous person and doesn't think that I would ever stray and thinks nothing of it when I am talking to another guy for 45 minutes.
I feel like a complete jerk! Why do I feel like this I love my boyfriend. There is so many people that would get hurt by this him, his family, my family , the other guys wife. I can't help the way I feel I think that me and this other guy are truly coneccted. I feel it when I am with him. Someone please help me. I don't even know how this guy feels I don't know if I want to know. Could I be just building this whole thing up in my head? HELP!!!!!!!
