citygal

I will stop reading this post, it makes me sick to my stomach how you people are so content and not bothered. Suit yourself. I just hope that you never find yourself in the same situation as his wife.... or maybe I don't care. Yeah, do me a favor and stop reading my posts. Go get yourself some counseling and maybe even an anger management class. Don't blame others for your pain. By the way, did you ever stop to think that maybe your Mom had a big "role" to play in this as well? Maybe if your Dad was happy ay home he wouldn't have looked elsewhere for love !!!! Have a great and better life. I hope that you don't ever experience such pain, because I doubt you would survive it. Maybe this will make you stronger and less bitter. God Bless.....good luck

Okay, thanx for acknowledging this fact. Its so hard for us to not lash out on you, you are the enemy that has destroyed my family. No my dear, "I" am NOT your enemy. Your father had a huge roll in what happened. Don't always be so fast to blame the mistress. I understand your hurt. Believe me I would not want to hurt anyone. I did not seek this out. I hope your family wounds heal and you all can move on. If you feel the need to lash-out some more, please don't write to me. I am not your enemy. I am here for my own reasons. I won't be responsible for someone elses grief. I wish you all the best and hope you can get past this and maybe forgive your dad and still keep in in your life. Best wishes

I will tell you that you are setting yourself up to get hurt. I am divorced and I know that when you are unhappily married you will leave and NOTHING can make you stay in Hell. The most important thing is to get out of there and find happiness. That's why I never believe the whole " I can't leave " story. He is going to spend anniversaries, birthdays, family parties with his family. They are his real world... you will get love in the shadows, hidden away like a terrible secret. Yes maybe I will get hurt and it won't be the first time. But if I don't try to see where this may go, then I'll never know and wonder what if. I feel that he is worth the time and effort to find out. I don't think he/she is living in hell. They do not have a violent marriage that either needs to run. He doesn't strike me as being that type of man at all. I've heard a little bit that she has a temper and goes off. At least the side of him that I see is very low key and gentle and fun. He seems to do his own thing with his friends (fish, hunts). He's been away the last 5 days with his buddies on a hunting trip. I've missed him every day I'll just give it another month or two to see if there is a chance that maybe we were meant to be. I won't wait a lifetime alone and settle for 2nd best.

They are jealous that we have found people to feel a passion for, to get excited about. They are most probably bored with their lives and are afraid to take a chance and do something exciting. Go for it, but also remember that you will get hurt, like myself. But the hurt goes away, and the memories stay forever............... Hi, I see your point as well. I do make the best of each day and the few times that we can spend together. I feel alive again inside. It's been a while since someone has made me feel this way. I don't think the others are jealous. I have to differ with you there. I really just think that some how this type of thing has touched them in their own lives/families and they know the hurt it can sometimes cause depending on the circumstances. I don't hate them for lashing out. It's not me that they are mad at personally.

Thanks for not attacking me as well. Look I understand their hostilities. I also think that I have more experience in life than some of the 20 year olds. Not knocking any of you. You all seem very bright and make very good arguments. I do appreciate the input, even some of the harsh ones I can deal with. I never said I was a saint in this. Believe me I was not searching for something like this to come into my life. I really believe "things happen when you least expect it". I can't apologize for my actions. I did what was in my heart and I'm not sorry. All I'm saying is that I wish it could have been different circumstances for both of us. Yes you are right. Why not blame the man in this? I didn't make him do anything he did not want to do. I know he cares about me. I can see it in his face, smile and eyes and affection. These are all wonderful things I see and feel, I just wish he didn't have that ring on his finger. My intention truly is NOT to hurt anyone. My heart wishes I could tell the world about him. I can only live in my own private silence about it and only share it with him.

So then you have an opinion about this....being on the other side of the fence? Yes, we are both having fun, but believe me when I tell you, I did not really seek this out. Yes, I did want to go to lunch with him, but the attraction was mutual for whatever reasons. I just know that I feel happy whenever we are together even though it is for a short while we do have a connection. I don't know what will or will not happen. I don't want to hurt anyone, most of all myself. I know the risks and yet I still want him. Yes it is hard dating at work because there is the question "what do I do if and when it's over"? How do I face him every day? I don't want to think negative so I take it day by day. I don't want to hurt his wife. But I think that's not my problem. If they have spoken about splitting up (to what extent I really don't know) then they can't be all that happy before I came along. He has mentioned that together financially they would find it hard to split or at least have the things they want on their own. So to me to stay together for financial help is not 2 people that are in deep love with one another. They have only been married 4 years and it sounds like there is no passion. I think that's pretty sad so soon in a relationship. He said he thought that she was the opposite of his first wife and that he wanted someone to grow old with. Well, to tell you the truth, I'd like him to grow old with me. I have a lot of passion for him and he is very affectionate with me. There just never is enough time for us to be together. He said that I am on his mind a lot and that made me feel great. But then I instantly come down to reality that he is married and no mater how great it feels to be thought of, I'm still not he one he goes to the movies with and out to dinner with. That's the empty part of it. I'm trying to see where it leads. But to be honest with you, I don't feel quilty in this at all. I feel like there was trouble in paradise before I came along so I am not the cause of their problems. As far as kids and family being hurt, well that's not my doing. I wouldn't be hurting them. His kid lives with the mom and he sees him during the week and weekends (a teenager) and her kid lives with them which he doesn't seem thrilled about because he said that she spoils him rotten and yells at my friend when ever he trys to make him do something around the house to help. I don't know, I know there are 2 sides to every story. call me selfish, call me lonely, most will call me bad names for whatever reasons or hangups they have of their own. I'm just here to talk and share and learn. I'm not bragging or saying I'm proud of myself. Believe me I would give anything for him not to have that ring on his finger. But I'm not ready to give him up. I have to be careful for both our jobs sake. I guess I just need a little more time to see if anything will come of it. Maybe some of you are right and I should not be with him physically, but it's hard not to be. We enjoy the hugs and kisses and just being held. It's been great so far. So we took it farther and no, I'm not sorry. I feel alive. I just hope I don't get hurt. I know the odds are great. One day at a time. I just have to see.

Hi, I know this won't sound good no matter how I say it so I will just spill it out. I started seeing a married man at my job. Please don't judge me yet. You know how they say "things happen when you least expect it"? Well, this truly is one of those cases. I've been working there 4 years and he 3 yrs. We hardly spoke, just in passing "hi". We started talking a few months ago and decided to go to lunch. We've had lunch with other workers and also alone. He is married (a 2nd marriage for both of them). He is not happy in his marriage and has told me that they have spoken of splitting and money issues , yadda yadda. I truly believe that I am not the cause of his infidelity. There was already trouble in paradise before me or he wouldn't be interested in me. Anyway, her kid lives with them and his kid lives with the mom. I'm single and never married/no children. We are 40 somethings and she is a 30 something, not that it matters. I don't make it a habit of dating a married man. I wish he was single. I'm really falling for this guy and would love to be with him. I would never do anything to hurt him. I really feel alive with him and love his affection. I know I am going to get bashed from other readers here. Please don't be to hard on me. I would love to spend the rest of my life with this man but I don't know what to do and I certainly would not ask him to leave his wife. If he left her, I would want it to be his decision. I go to work every day anxious to see his smile. I'm lonely when he is not there. We have formed a trust and a great friendship. We are definetly physically attracted to each other. Maybe we fill a void in each others life that is missing. I don't know what to do. I guess I can only take it day by day and see what happens. I can't exactly talk to anyone about this. So I guess that's why I'm here.