kaloo

I'm glad things worked out between the 2 of you! Please keep your fingers crossed for me! Thanks!

My bf and I have been together for 3 years (I'm 22, he's 24) but he told me yesterday that he's not in love with me anymore. He's wants to give us another chance and definitely wants to stay friends. He has always been open and honest with me and he assured me that there's nobody else in the picture. It came as a shock to me: we're both busy people and it's sometimes hard to adjust our schedules, but we always seemed to manage to have some quality time together. I have been really busy with school (senior blues, tons of papers due, work on my dissertation) and so was he. Our spontanious dates just faded away. Phone calls became a bit awkward. We survived a long distance relationship and we give eachother lots of space. I missed the tenderness and the affection, but I never complained. Instead of lovers we kinda became brother and sister. Including last night, I saw him 3 times this summer. Dates were postponed and cancelled. Then he turned up saying that he wants more space. He said he had been feeling this way since April, but that he first thought that it was just a fase he was going through. He's saying that we're too different and that it doesn't work: he's more adventurous and very outgoing. He's a people's person and although I love company, I can easily spend my time reading a book or doing something on my own and I don't always feel like joining him when he's going out with some of his friends. I respect his freedom and I never asked him to stay with me and ditch his friends. I thought he appreciated this but it turns out that he feels that I don't show enough interest in his friends. He had a busy summer (he went abroad to work as a camp counselor) and he claims he didn't miss me or think about me. I think that's unfair because his activities kept him busy night and day. Whereas I spent lots of time behind my books working for school. Not something entertaining, but it had to be done. I know he says he wants to give us another chance but I fear that since he kinda gave up on me in April, I don't know how long he's willing to wait and what he wanted to do to makes this work out. He suggested a date or something like that every week or so. But this puts a lot of pressure on me: I'm still in love with him and I want want it so badly to work out- but I'm afraid that we can't be spontanious anymore. I suggested a weekend away, but he didn't really react. I'm very confused, sad, rejected and insecure. The more I think about it the more angry I get and the more sorry I feel for myself (it's like being seventeen all over again). I even thought -in the spurr of the moment- that maybe I had been fooling myself for months and that he's right. But somehow I still refuse to believe that. In a way I'm miserable because he told me, in another way I'm relieved that he wants to give it another shot. He was miserable too when he told me but I still think that something isn't right in this whole situation. I feel that he's leaving it to me to fix things. And how much as I'd like to be able to do that, I can't make him fall in love with me. I don't know if I should give him more space: he's a old enough to have his own schedule and I never used emotional blackmail to keep him with me. I think that I was giving him too much space and that it should've taken more initiative. We had a very emotional talk about this yesterday and we're meeting again in a couple of days when we get our heads straight. Please help! I need all the feedback and diffrent angles on this situation as I can get. How can we bring the romance back in our relationship?