rbelle

jennifer, u got a point there, there's a big difference between "i need you" and "i want you", but i think it would be awkward if i will ask him that, dont you think so?

phaseone, we are not officially together, but i do know that he really loves me.

Here is the thing, we never had a sexual intercourse but we do make out sometimes. So i dont really know if all he needs from me is sex. Im really confuse about this.

Everytime he tells me that he need me, i always had this feeling that maybe he needs me bcoz of it. Am i a bad girl to think like this??? How can i stop myself from being so pesimistic?

Ok guys here is my question, when a guy tells you "I NEED YOU" what does it really mean?

Does it mean he needs you just for sex? or

He needs you bcoz he cannot live without you?

Is there a hidden meaning between those words? or its just me whose keep looking for nothing?

I would be very grateful if you will answer my question.

I dont know if i should i look for it in a positive way, or in the other way?

I really need that hug...im so sad and down and lonely now. I can't get him out of my mind. Im thinking about him more and more and more.

I did try to be busy....i hang out with my friends, i read a lot of books, i watch movies, and other things, but it didn't help me to forget him, i only end up getting sick.

I don't know now what i should do? I'm getting tired of it, i come to the point that i want to give up. All i get is pain. I feel like everything in me went wrong.

He used to call me everyday but now his calling me about twice a week. Those calls is about 3 minutes, just to "ask how i am?" Sometimes i want to tell him to stop calling me, coz i feel like his only calling me for the reason that he don't want me to get upset from him, or maybe he feel some guilt in his side. Those sort of things comes to my mind. But i can't tell him that coz knowing the fact that he will stop calling me forever, KILLS ME. Besides i dont have the right to question him why his not calling me everyday, im not his gf or wife.

I know how busy he is with his new job, and with his family. He has lots of things to priority. I would be the last in his list.

I understand all those situation. But it keeps hurting me. I perfectly know what i should do. Leave him and stop any sort of communication with him. I swear i think about it lots of times, but i can't. Just thinking about that idea makes me cry. I know that u understand me coz u've been in my shoes.

I know im killing myself... slowly slowly... with all this things. But what can i do? How am i going to fight this? Im so weak now.

Truth does hurt.

I really hope i can be as strong as u, you are a very positive person.

no matter what happened I just understand I have to love and respect myself better, after that I can know what I really want and will get what I deserve.

I hope i can say this to myself...it seems so easy to say but really hard to do.

I really appreciate all your kind words and concern. I really need it now.

Thank you!!!

Im not alone!

Actually PA, im a little older than you. 8)

Im in the country where sex is not that opened, and i dont talk about it with my friends at all, i will feel embarrass if i will ask them.

Anyway, im still thinking about it coz its something new to me. Do u really think i should not worry about it???

Well last tuesday i was supposed to meet him, right? But he didn't call me. I was waiting for him to call me the whole day, but he didn't. its fine with me since i told him the day before that i will think about it, so maybe he was thinking that im still not ready to meet him.

Then last thursday, i called him as soon as i woke up, coz its been 3 months since we know we love each other. And also its been a month since the last time i saw him. So he ask me if i want to see him, then i told him "YES", then he ask me again why sudden changed of mind, then i told him that, i just make some thinking and i realized that i need to meet him ASAP.

But it was a big mistake to see him that time, i went to see him for only 5 minutes....i was look into his eyes....and it seems like its talking to me.....telling me that "theres nothing we can do about it"....thats when i have a teary eyes. Then i told him that i need to go coz if i will stay there i will cry so hard. After i met him i keep on crying in the supermarket(its a good thing that there's only few people out there) i was so sad that day, i just realized how much i love him. I guess my wound is not yet healed, i still need more time.

Then today he called me again, asking me why am i crying that time, i want to tell him everything in my heart. But i didn't coz i think it will not help.

Anyway, its good to hear that your ok now, btw u sound so strong, i wish i can be the same like you.

Thanks for asking!!!

I was thinking that maybe i have infections or something like that, coz it all started when my ex give me oral.

Im sure im not pregnant coz im still a virgin, and besides u can't be pregnant by having oral, right?

Thank you guys for the inputs. I am less worried now.

So here's my question.....

why am i always wet?

i'm not thinking of anything about sex yet im always wet.

Is that normal?

Thanks!!!

You made your point there, i guess i have to be brave and face him tomorrow.

if what you want is his love and care, you already got it. Just go and enjoy it happily. There is nothing should be blamed about. You can talk, share your feelings, be true love and true friends of each other, but not giving each other burden or problem.

All these words you said really encourage me to see him.

However, if you really want to marry him, ask him again about the possibilities. And ask him what's in his mind. It is unfair that you are the only one who is suffering this much my poor girl.

Well he did think once to change into muslim so he can marry me too, but i said a big "NO" i dont want to be a second wife. It's not a very good idea. Besides i always consider her daughter.

Anyway, when i spoke to him today he sounds like his asking this the same question "why we didn't meet earlier?"....i can really feel this. Im not the only one who is suffering, he does too. Well i know that i can't be that sure, but i can really feel this from his side.

So tomorrow i will meet him(that is if i will not change my mind, hope that!) Thanks for the advice. This conversation end up u helping me. Thanks a lot!!!!

We are not alone

I love this site!

Can't believe that someone is experiencing almost the same thing as i do.

Your last paragraph really touch my heart, i really hope that i will get over him. I never been into any relationship, thats why it hurts me so much. First time for me and this is what happened!!!

By the way he just called me a while ago, and everytime i spoke to him i cant stop crying especially after i hang up the phone. I really really missed him.

Another thing, he wants us to meet tomorrow, i dont know what should i do? Can u help me decide? I'm dying to see him again but im not sure what will i do when i see him.

Well i just joined this amazing forum recently, and i will not call it a day if i didn't check this site. I guess im starting to ba an addict too.

Last night before i sleep, i was crying so hard coz i missed him so much. I remember all those happy moments with him. Until now i cant move on, i still love him. He's always on my mind, when i see things related to him i cant stop myself from crying. I dont know how and when to forget him.

Anyway lets go back with u....

But what about my innocent heart then?

Dont be selfish, you are old enough to handle this situation rather than his 2 young children. This man i love has a 7 year old lovely daughter, though she is not my child i care for her so much, and she is the reason why i told him that we should stop it.

I cried for 2 hrs the night I saw his wife.

I did the same thing when i saw his wife, the reason i met her is bcoz i have to give some papers to her, she even invited me to have coffee, but i refused(i give some lame excuse why i cant). You know something, he even invited me to have diner with his wife(ufff!!!), and i explained to him that i can't handle this situation now, coz im sure that i will cry in front of his wife, if i will see them together.

I realized that he is not my man, and it really hurts.

Reality bites!!!

I feel such a tragity that every minute I am waiting for his message....Seems he is trying to keep the distance away from me now.

I know what u mean, everyday im waiting for his call or even a message, but as of now, its been 5 days since the last time he called me, and believe me how many times i hold my phone and tried to call him.(Take note, he promise me that he will call me everyday). But i understand him coz his too much busy with his work now, or maybe "his just trying to keep distance from me".

If his mind is not ready to stick with one woman for the rest of their life, why would he get married and have kids?

Anyone out there who can answer this question, coz i also want to know the answer.

why didn't we met earlier?

I ask that same question lots of times, why? why? why?

Sometimes i feel like i regret that we met, but u know something i should'nt feel like this, coz his the best thing ever happened to my life, he let me know the feeling of "to loved" and "to be loved", but he also let me know the feeling of "to be hurt", thats why sometimes i want to regret. But just like everyone says "THIS IS LIFE" we have to deal with it.

I can understand u perfectly, im in the same situation, the only difference is i met him in the net.

This guy lives in another country not that far from me, he was a very good friend for me, he used to help me with my problems and he always cheer me up. From the beginning i already know that he is married and he has 1 daughter. Even though i know this fact, i still fall for him, but i didnt tell him anything about it...until he came to this country where i work(since this is not my home country, so basically it is the same like u..im new in this place)...he was just 2 hours drive away from me. When he came here we always talk to the phone for hours(3-5 hours straight), thats when he said he has feelings for me...so i told him that...i do too. But since we both knew that there's nothing we can do about it, we try to stay as friends, but we met in person and thats when we both realized that we love each other more than that. He even said that if his not married, he will marry me.

He decided to work here, so now he is so near to me, but he brings his family here, and i actually met his wife(believe me it hurt me so much). So now we both agreed to stay as friends since we started as friends. Until now we still talk to each other, but i didnt see him for almost a month now. He wants us to meet again but i said i cant, coz i dont know if i will let him go if i will see him. And i dont want to be the reason of any family break up.

His the first thing in my mind when i woke up and the last thing before i sleep. There's no single night that i don't cry, the reason why im crying is bcoz i know the fact that "he will never be mine".

Another thing is the only person who knew this is me and him only. I didnt tell anybody about it.

Is it possible that we keep our relationship as good friends?

It is possible but it will be very hard for sure, coz until now its hard for me to accept this reality between me and him.

Is it possible that he would leave his wife and be with me at last?

If ur living in a country where they accept divorce...it is possible. But u need to ask ur self, is this what u really want? Are u sure about his feelings for u? bcoz, u mentioned that u "don't understand if he really regard u as a good friend only", so i guess u need to make sure about it first. Another thing is, how old is his children? If they are still young, can u take it that they will have a broken family?

Since i think u dont have any relationship with him yet, it is much better to minimize seeing him, start now before it will become too late to go back. Believe me it will be more harder if u and him will have a relationship.

You are not alone

Hope i helped u somehow.

Yes, im 100% sure of that, why??? bcoz i actually fall in love with a guy i met in the internet, and im still in love with him. The sad thing is...his married

i agree with i_hate_the_world, never give your mailing address and other important things. For security reason. But there's no harm if you will tell them some truth about you. Just put some limitations on the things that you want to share with them.

Thanks for all the information, really appreciate it!!!

Have'nt lost your touch.

Keep up the good work

If i may suggest...i think it would be much better if u will put titles in all your poems. What do u think?

Love it!!!!!!!

There's only one word to describe your poetries....PERFECT!!!

I dont know if it's just a coincidence, but all the poems you post here is meant for me. You never failed to amazed me.

Everytime i open this forum. the first thing i check is the poetry, checking if you post a new poem that will touch my heart.

YOU ROCK!!!!!

Keep up the good work!

I have read all the poems you post here, and everytime i read your poems, u make me cry a bit, it touches my heart.

Keep up the good work!!!!

Dont worry about it.

I just had my first kiss recently, and its IN THE MOVIE, it was so nice, i can still remember it. Once he kiss u....it will come along, u will never know that u know how to kiss even if its ur first time...hehehe . Good luck!!!! \

By the way, dont forget to give us update.

Amazing!!!! Wish i had the talent.

So smile for me and I'll smile for you,

A lie may hurt but the truth does to.

This line is meant for me

im quite innocent about this, how can i actually know if a girl had orgasm or if she cums? Well i do know if a man had finish or if he had cum, but for women, im quite not sure. Does she also have this white sticky thing in her like in men? Well i ask this coz everytime he touch me he always ask me if i finish, and i always said yes, even though im not sure if i finish or not. I want to ask him about this but im shy , I dont like to pretend i finish even if i dont, so i really need ur help guys.

That's the hardest part....TO LET GO....knowing that there's no chance of him coming back. And i completely agree with you

WE ALL HAVE TO!....THERE IS NO OTHER WAY...