Help. I met this guy about a month ago. First date, I was very attracted to him physically but he seemed to talk a lot and not really ask questions. I walked away thinking, "I'd see him again and see how that goes" but didn't get the feeling he would ask me out again. But he did.
He travels out of town for work a lot, and left town the day after our first date, so we didn't have our second date until about 10 days after the first. When he got back, we made plans for a Friday night date. He called me at 830 ON FRIDAY to tell me that he was still at work, and that he didn't know what time he'd be done.
He said to do my own thing and he would call me later. So, I made other plans, went out with my friends. Around 10 pm he called and said he would like to come meet up with me. He showed up, we hung out until about 230 am and then went to his house. I stayed there but told him no sex, just snuggling and kissing and that's what we did.
I realized I was really starting to like him. I didn't hear from him for about 2 days. He called me at 9 pm on a Tuesday wanting to hang out. I said I have to work early and this is too late for a last minute date. We decided to wait until Friday to see each other and have a "real date". Friday I don't hear from him. So I call him finally at 9 pm to find out "what's up".
He tells me HE'S WORKING can we reschedule to Saturday? So I say, ok I will go out with my friends tonight and we can meet tomorrow, but I WANT you to call me early in the day to confirm so I know we're really going. Around 1 am the night of our cancelled date, he calls me and wants to come meet me. I ?stupidly? say ok, and go out to a late night spot to have some food with him.
We talk and hang out for an hour or so and then go back to his house for another round of talking, kissing and not sex. We get up Saturday morning the morning of our supposed real date, and he says he is going to the beach. So I say, are we still on for tonight though? And he says yes, for sure, he will still call me in a few hours and we will still have our date. I leave and go do my own thing all day and receive NOT a call, but a TEXT MESSAGE, saying "won't be home til 10pm".
Ok, what the hell does that mean? I reply "do u still want 2 meet up 2nite?" and he replies "yes, but I have some work to get done first". Still unclear to me, are we ON or OFF for tonight? I finally just called him and said what's up and he said he would call me after he was done with his work that night. Which to me meant we were NOT going out. So I made other plans. Never heard from him at all that night. I was pissed and decided this is no good and I will just let it go.
I get up on Sunday morning, check my email and he has emailed me that he broke his phone and is really sorry for not calling but can I please give him my number again so that he can give me a call? I decided to wait a day and think about it. Monday, I emailed him and said that I really like him but that if he wants to hang out we should come up with a way to make plans that "works for both of us" because I would prefer to know sooner than later if things are not going to work out.
He wrote me back and said "I'm getting a new phone today, I will talk to you later on today" and I thought we were going to talk about things on the phone. But he didn't call me. So I called him around 9:30 and left a message. He called right back. We talked and I said "So what did you think about the email" and he just said "I don't know what to say. What do you mean? I thought it was fine." I guess I thought the email required a response from him but he said he didn't realize it did, that he just thought I was putting my feelings out there.
Anyway, I said "I am just letting you know I'd like to keep seeing you, but we need a better system of making plans." At which point he sorta freaked out and said "maybe you should date someone who doesn't have goals, who doesn't have other stuff going on!" and I'm like "no, I want to date you and I like that you have goals and are successful with your work, but it's difficult being cancelled on.
I always can find other things to do, but you have to let me know" so then he softened and said that he was sorry and that work was super crazy and he's working 12 - 16 hours per day and has all these projects happening. That he wants to see me, but right now it's impossible. Things will get better in a week or so. I said "ok, I'll be here" and he said "you know I'm not seeing anyone else, I like you, things are just crazy right now".
He said he was leaving to go out of town for a week, but that he would talk to me "sometime this week". Well, now it's been a week since we talked. I know he is coming back tomorrow, and we have the same IM, and he's been online everyday but never sends me anything or says anything. I have not heard from him.
What's up? I mean, did I PUSH too hard to soon? Should I have played it cool? I didn't feel I was asking anything beyond to be respected. Last time he went out of town, he didn't call until he got back, even though he was on the IM everyday. So it's not unusual I guess. I am just tired of waiting for his call or email. I wonder whether he even will. I wonder if I should email him, but I think I'll know for sure he either likes me or doesn't by whether he calls in the next few days.
It's hard to wait to find out. My friend says he might feel bad about the conversation and then not call because he's embarrassed or something. IN that case, I think I should send him a short email saying "hi, hope all is well" but on the other hand if a guy really likes you, he'll call right? And one conversation wouldn't scare him away already would it? I'm driving myself nuts.
