hello everyone ive been reading your posts for a couple of weeks now and found them very helpful.
Condenced background
my bf & i were together for almost two years. We knew each other before this he used to frequent the shop where i worked we got chatting and swapped mobile numbers. We were both in relationships at this time. I moved to a new job, again in a shop and he started visiting me there.my then relationship broke down violently (his violence not mine), Anyway started seeing new guy on the rebound didnt expect it to go anywhere he had said he wouldn't end his current relationship because of the kids 4 & 18mths. I was fine with that he was just mr right now. 6mths passed i was getting grief off the ex (he wanted me back) but i had no feelings left for him the breakup had been coming for a couple of years (we were together 11). However he wouldnt give up he constantly harassed me, he knew nothing of this other guy by the way for obvious reasons. my new guy was my shoulder to cry on very understanding and loving. Then one day while we were chatting away i told him i loved him, i didnt plan it it just came out. I expected him to end it there and then but instead he said it right back, things were great he said he wanted to be with me but he felt guilty for the kids. 4mths later he calls me at 3am to tell me his girlfriend walked out on him, we left it a few weeks and then i told my then ex about him, OMG from then on he tried everything to break us up (the ex and i had been split up 18mths at this point). I wont bore you with the details but basically i lost my home and my family to be with this new guy. We went to hell and back but nothing could keep us apart, i eventually got a place of my own and my now ex stayed one night and never went home. we were in heaven for 3mths until he told his ex about me. She seemed to take it well at first and then the phone calls started, she'd be drunk telling him to get round to hers because the kids were playing up, then what a crap boyfriend he had been to her and how bad a father he was, then she'd phone his mom in the middle of the night drunk and tell her how rubbish he was. All this put pressure on us but we'd been through so much it never occurred to me that this would be a problem.
The beginning of the end
He started to be a little distant, he would usually bound in the flat and squeeze the life out of me but now he was different loving but not so over the top as his normal self. i asked him what was wrong and if i could help and he reassured me he was just a little bit down, he even booked us a holiday saying we needed some time alone without any outside influence. Then he started coming later and later to see me, turning his back on me in bed, i was hurt but said nothing for a few days. One night whilst we were in bed i asked him outright if he was going to leave me he replied no silly i love you and i'd hardley book a holiday if i was leaving you would i, that was good enough for me. he came to see me the next night tuesday 4th may saying he had told the ex about our holiday(because he had his kids overnight every week and wouldn't be able to that week) she didn't take it too well saying he thought more of me than his kids. He went very quiet for the rest of the night. The next night he comes in saying he's confused and fed up needs some space so he wont be seeing me for a couple of nights but will keep in touch. he text and rang the next day but by fri no texts and no calls. So i call him he is so nasty to me saying i made him depressed and he didn't know if he loved me anymore because it had gone from being a pleasure to being a chore,i was heartbroken and hung up the phone.i used nc until the following thursday and then i text him with are you ok? he text back 'no im not' so i asked why and then my world fell apart as i read his reply 'ITS OVER SO LETS JUST LEAVE IT. I was in shock i tried to ring but he wouldnt answer.so i text saying he couldnt mean it, he said he did and that was it.Its been 3 weeks today since he left ive text him a few times most have been ignored the replies only to reinforce that its over. He text me today to pick up his things i ended up begging him by text to come ans talk to me, but still he says its over. How can this be how can he say and do all those things and then a few days after leave, im so confused and hurt i know its no use keep contacting him because he's made his mind up, but i cant let go i love him so much
please help how do i deal with this
