thatguy

It's good to see some optimism coming from you!

Im really busy with school these days so i haven't been worrying too much about girls. Although, it's all that guys my age talk about, I feel like the odd man out.

But, the only thing you can do is try to keep a positive outlook and improve yourself.

hang in there

I was like you in my earlier years. When I started going to high school i was pressured into smoking weed, much like your considering.

over the last couple of years I've turned to drugs to help me deal with problems. this only makes more problems.

Overall tho, its just a waste of time/money/brain cells. and it will only take away parts of your life.

just watching the ways harder drugs have affected my peers makes me glad i never went past weed.

if you wanna smoke weed, thats fine. As long as you do it responsibily not much harm can come from it. But just dont let others pressure you into it, like i have..

(edit): see next post

I think that there isnt any advice that is going to help everyone who hasnt had a gf.

I think that a person would have to post about their life, and relationships to see what the problem is.

i mean what havent we covered in the 72 pages in this thread, not to mention all the other threads on this topic.

Oh i almost forgot to mention. PAdreamer, I think you've been doing a great job at helping people here. And I hope you don't get discouraged by some of our attitudes.

Pot is so common around here, I almost can't help but smoke it.

speaking of video games, i just played some halo 2 multiplayer. it was sweet. I gotta get xbox live...

I don't usually drink alone, i mostly smoke alone tho. i'd say im more of a social drinker. I have a friend who didnt drink till 19, frankly i dont see the point. he missed out on all the good partys in highschool.

but hey if thats in your morals good for you.

Mahlina

i agree, my response was uncalled for, i only try to help. I cant really stand to see people have such little self respect.

I mean we all have our problems but you can't take it out on yourself.

Shinobie,

But, really, things will get better. It's tough for you because you're also in high school, which is a difficult time because people have this kind of 'crowd pleaser' mentality.

 

Hang in there...-Mahlina

How will things get better for shinobie after high school? he wont get made fun of, but i dont see how his life will improve.

Even tho he gets a hard time from people. If he keeps this mentality i don't see things improving at all. Its just that much easier to be a loner once you don't have to be around people your age.

Things won't get better unless you allow them to.

Ok first of all it seems like everything people give me about why i dont have a girlfriend is my confidence.

yep, low self esteem sure has alot to do with it too.

We shouldn't even have to stress over the opposite sex like this.

Amen to that. If only I could take some kinda pill that would just let me live like everyone else. Not having this big issue that I've always been worried about.

I remember in middle school when everyone was hooking up. I told myself i would commit suicide in i didnt have a gf in a couple years. I never attempted it but it amazes me that i could have such grief at such an early age.

you almost can't help but become cynical and resentful.

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On another note,

I remember watching the sunday night sex show once, and a middle aged male called in who hadn't who had problems developing relationships.

she said that people like him never learned "small talk".

I've talked to girls, but I've never approached a girl just for a casual conversation.

I sure hope you read that cause it took me over an hour to type If that doesnt show you that I care then i dont know what will.

I dont mean to discriminate or generalize but from the few girls ive known seem to be pretty irrational sometimes, someone once told me that women think with their emotions. This is about the only thing that makes me feel fortunate for not having a relationship.

just what ive observed from my friends gf over the last 2 years they've been together.

thats in regards to your post outlaw,

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I am not looking for a pity party or anything i am just looking for answers.i come to this site cause there is no one else i can go to......Ill just grow up and try to get a job.Then work my whole life and give all my money to charity as an old lonely man.I need to get it through my gosh darn head and say WOMEN I DONT NEED U.Thats all i need right now i dont really care im all at that same time i dont need it.quote]

 

Dear god Shinobie, do you always have to look at things with such a negative viewpoint. I guess this is a rhetorical question given your posts. You sound like your your own worst enemy.

 

I want you to read this throughly. YOU HAVE TO STOP BEING SO HARD ON YOURSELF. If you ever want to be happy you have to think positively and feel good about yourself. You can't do anything if you don't feel good about yourself. i.e. make friends, get a job, get a girlfriend, a generally just live a healthy live.

 

You said your not looking for a pity party, well your life is a pity party so i can see why. Think about it, your constantly putting yourself down,. How can anyone live like that?

 

You should be glad your going to a psychiatrist. Frankly, I am cause I cant take reading any more of this garbage . Its hard just to read about your posts now, I can't really understand how bad you must feel, no one can, only you.having friends that don't respect you. Not being able to talk to your parents about your feelings, and just being misunderstood in general. But you've got to get past this for your own sake.

 

Its not good to keep putting yourself through so much pain. Don't you agree?? I can see through your posts that your having a much harder time dealing with these issues than I did. I think its because you don't have a healthy social life, or healthy relationships between people, because your a very closed person you keep all your feelings an emotions to yourself. Its obviously not a good way to live. You just torturing yourself.

 

I read in one of your posts, you said "I play video games because thats the only time I can stop worrying about things". For me, the way I stop thinking and get some time to just have fun is when Im out mountain biking. Theres nothing else to think about besides the trail and proggressing in my riding.

^ This alone has been one of the best things in my life so far. I've met lots of people and stayed in shape, and most importantly It gave me something positive to spend my time doing. Building trails, working on bikes, e.t.c.

 

If you spent as much time doing something postive with your time, that interests you. You would have that much of a better more positive outlook on your life.

 

Since I don't know you all I can do is compare my feelings and what I've gone through to your posts.

 

Life truly is what you make of it. Think about the term "Everything in moderation", you need balance to live a healthy life. IF your really looking for answers, then pm DiglyD, he has helped me greatly in understanding what life is about.

 

I could keep writing and writing but im just trying to get through to you shinobie. You dont deserve to feel so bad. Your a nice guy and you deserve better. Even you must agree with that.

I haven't posted here in quite a while.

Random post:

I read a post somewhere else that Homer simpson said something like this once: "Trying is the first step to failure."

when would u take what homer simpson says seriously...

It would be a very good idea to see a therapist,

You could even talk to your family doctor (the one who prescribed anti-depressants). they could suggest someone. Then you can work on your self esteem, and confidence.

You could even tell your parents that you think it would be a good idea. If they know you've attempted suicide, and really un happy then I couldn't see why they'd disagree.

whats there to lose, if your considering suicide, or not happy with your life.

please dont ever attempt suicide again. I find it very selfish and cowardly for someone to take there life. Think about all of your family members who would have to go to your funural. As long as your alive your life can change.

take it easy

It seems as though most of your posts are you venting, thats fine. But everytime i read them I feel i must reply with some sort of advice. I know theres plenty of a**holes out there, both male and female.

But I think your just blaming your gender cause guys tend to give you a hard time. I know it sucks, and it isn't fair, but you have to ignore all of them and focus on whats more important.

are you interested in sports at all? for me biking was a great way to forget about all my worrys, and concentrate on improving my riding, and learning new tricks.

Just don't worry about things so much, it doesn't help anything. try finding something you enjoy to do, even going to the gym is a great way to let out stress.

just spend some time enjoying yourself rather than thinking about how much you need a g/f e.t.c. Because the truth is, you don't "NEED" a girlfriend, sure you want one. what 17 y.o. male doesnt. But hey people have gone there whole lives without one.

LOL, I think I've read way too many posts about middle aged men who've always been alone.

use the search button, theres lots of topics on "nice guys", who have trouble getting past being friends.

try searching NGS "Nice Guy Syndrome"

thats a crappy situation, knowing that you cant change someones feelings towards you.

I'd think the best thing to do would be to try and move on, and just maintain a friendship with her.

that is if your sure you two can only remain friends.

otherwise you should talk to her...

good luck

yeh i am about the same build as you, shinobie. I don't like being stickly and i started becoming self conscious and depressed. but you've got to make the best of what you got.

there are people out there who weigh 300+ pounds, would u rather be obese?

I really think u should look into counselling if u havent shinobie. maybe you can get some help. Because I dont think anyone on here is helping u any if your too depressed to help yourself.

get some help for your own sake.

I don't see what you mean when you say "wouldnt they want you to be happy". I dont see suicide as an option unless your in too much pain to live (physical).

I dont think theres any justification in suicide, its a last resort that some people choose. theres always other options, killing yourself doesnt solve anything for anyone.

I think many people will agree that suicide is a wrong choice

at least someones getting some action, or trying to, haha

thats they key, effort

seeing people together doesnt really bother me much right now, maybe when im older. the thing that bothers me is all the comments i get, its really hard to feel good about yourself. but at the end of the day it doesnt bother me too much.

i can think of little worse than the thought of being alone for a lifetime, its something im trying to ignore, because it really affects my self esteem.

I Shouldnt even post on this site anymore all i do is take up space with my worthless pathetic crap......All i do is ask for advice and vent a lot of my frustrations which u guys probably get tired of so i should get my worthless mind off this site.I cant even give advice because like 90% of the posts have to do with relationships and women.Such as kissing like "what was ur first kiss like".I mean i cannot provide any information on that subject i havent even touched a girls lips or held their hand out of love or liking them.I think i should stop.

as far as im concerned, i believe everyone has a right to post on this site, its okay to feel bad about yourself, but if you can't summon the strength to want to change your situation, then yes i believe it wont help any.

just think good about your life for one second, im sure there is something good in your life, think about how much time you have left on this planet, do u really want to just wallow in misery your whole life? I know you think u will, but do you want to?

im sorry, its really hard to read about you thinking so negatively, when your so young, It doesnt matter if you havent kissed a girl, or hugged, or been friends with a girl (Because you cant change the past).

Your only concern should be making the best of what life you have left, don't let your depression and emotions control your life. Girls are just people after all, they dont dictate who you are and how you feel about yourself.

Shinobie, if you ever do manage to get a girlfriend, you would be so reliant on what she thinks of you, her feelings, so much that you would just a doormat, you would be totally succeptible to her opinions.

just be glad your not involved with someone, it would only make your life worse.

i dont mean to make you feel bad in anyway, im just trying to tell you that you need alot more than a girlfriend, you need to seriously look at yourself and your life and think of what you want to make of it, you cant let your life revolve around woman you've never had like so many guys who havent had girlfriends do...you just end up bitter and full of self hatred.

why do you think your parents would be mad at you? I could see them being shocked by the situation, but what reason would they have to blame you?

you've had an alchohol problem since you've met him? has he always been mean to you? it sounds like he has very strong feelings against you if he "never wants to see you again" this guy is nothing but trouble, even if you do love him. the only thing he will do is hurt you more, he will never change.

its your decision whether you want to see him or not, but from what you've told me, it doesnt sound like he respects you at all. I say let him be, he has alot of thinking to do, and if i were you i wouldnt talk to him till this blows over, or until hes out of jail. he is probably very emotional and frustrated, especially after being drunk the whole night.

by stealing a car, crashing it, dui, and possesion of drugs, hes going to have alot of problems to sort out. and he needs time to do so.

once again, I really think its in your best interest to stay away from this guy , good luck.

I agree with you in that drugs and alchohol can and do make your problems worse

but I dont agree with the phrase "weed is a gateway drug, or lead to other drugs". I think it all depends on the person, and what kind of values they have.

i know many people from high school that started doing E, and coke and those kinda drugs. but I always kept myself away from sort of stuff. I wouldnt ever snort anything up my nose, or inject it. but i've smoked hash/oil/weed. i didnt consider them to be hard drugs.

but i learned when u abuse any drug, no matter which, it always has side effects, and from smoking weed throughout the last 2 years has effected my lifestyle and where i spend my time.

I think ill always smoke weed, but not soo much thats for sure.

sounds like your doing awesome in overcoming your addictions. best of luck

just wondering what kinda drugs you were into? dunno why, if you dont wanna say it doesnt matter..

"jess you are so paranoid, I dont even care for ne one else..."

there he said it himself, looking is just looking, when u see a nice sports car on the road do you cover your eyes because u already have a car?

didn't think so.

dont worry about it

it sounds like your just really stressed out, and are having a hard time dealing with it, and of course your boyfriend is the first person u "vent" too,

its obvious your emotions are affecting the way you communicate with your boyfriend and other ppl. you have to try and communicate better with him calmly and try to explain your situation. because when you get angry with him it just confuses him and doesnt get anywhere.

im very sorry to hear about your father and wish u and your family the best of luck in the future.