Incredibly Lonely - Feeling Hopeless

I am sure I'm not the first person to ever have gone through anythign like this, but to me - it just seems like it's just me.

I am a 49 year old divorced woman. I hvae been divorced for about 20 years. During that time I have been in a few relationships. Not more than four. None of those relationships worked out. For the last 7-8 years or so - I haven't really even been dating anyone. I am beginning to wonder if I will ever date anyone again. I have gone through periods of time when I have felt completely sexless. Then I think I just entered a period where I mostly feel depressed and lonely.

I am - to say the least - getting older. I feel that my time for having a good relationship with someone is running out. I feel that it will never ever "happen" for me. And this is something that I have wanted for so long. I meet men that I like, but nothign ever happens between us - or they act interested and then they disappear.

I wish that someone could or would tell me what to do. I feel so helpless at this point. And the loneliness is taking it's toll on me. I am not an unattractive person. I am smart and friendly and really a wonderful person. I don't really know what kind of response I am looking for here. Maybe - someone can renew my hope in some way.

Thanks,

Topanga3

Since a long time has gone by without getting what you desire, I'd suggest trying a drastic change in daily patterns. For example, if you're in ok shape, try skydiving -- it will completely refresh your spirit, and it's an excellent way to meet people and expand your social network. Participate in adventurous outdoors activities with large groups of people, maybe through a club. Then, while you're happily exploring, you will run into romance much sooner and it will happen when you least expect it. Make it a goal to meet at least 5 new people every week. It's a game of chance at any age, and the more people you come accross the better. First though, become involved in social activities that make you happy.

Not to make the immediate and simplistic response, but I think there are many things going on here....I agree with flyingpolarbear to a degree that a change in patterns would be a good thing, although immediately trying skydiving? You didn't GET to be 49 by being foolish. I'm sure there's a happy medium somewhere there. It's not so much as WHAT, but rather that you're breaking the pattern. You've also brought up the subject of feeling depressed. While FEELING depressed and DEPRESSION are two very different things, I think it would be a good reality check to make sure that there isn't something bio-chemical going on here as well. Do you have a strong circle or even one or two good friends? Are you social with them? You're as young and lively as you are in your mind. The biological clock CAN spin backwards. Getting out, not being afraid to make a fool of yourself is a sign if impending immaturity.....a 'running barefoot in the front yard during a summer rain' kind of thing. Approaching each day with the view that the glass is half full, rather than half empty. How do you get there? By waking up each day with the knowledge that you have value. Volunteer work is a wonderful way to find this out. There's millions of ways that you can help. What happens when you put in the effort and help your fellow man? The enrichment and rewards you feel are mutiplied by a hundred.

Anyone can help to point the way, but in the ultimate analysis, it all comes from within. It's the inner vibrancy probably as much as any physical attribute that attracts people to one another. I think that's where you need to start.

(giving your hand a squeeze), Good Luck!