spion_kop

bepositive, on the 29th of june, this sunday, would have been our 3 years. It's going to be a painful day for the both of us. Yea i know that she moved on but i know she cares and she'll be thinking of all the good times. After this month ends, things can get better. Her Bday and the 29th were the two obstacles i feel that i needed to get over.

bepositive, I didnt wish my ex a happy bday. When the day had passed, the morning after it hit me. I realized that now things have officially been cut and we now go our separate ways without looking back. I was in a lot of pain but I realized that this had to be done. We both needed to move on because that is the only way you can get back with each other, if it were to happen. If I had wished her, I would still be in the "friend zone" which is something I dont want. I really dont want her back either because after all, she destroyed a three year relationship in three days. If you dont know my story (I dont think i posted it) but her co worker who is 26, while she is 21, kept hitting on her since september. She knew he liked her and she told me everything. I trusted her and warned her that he was getting too close. He use to take her out to lunch and since he holds a higher position she couldnt exactly say no because it could jeopardize her job. In the end, the day we broke up he came over. Nothing happened but two days later, they're dating. So after that I realized that it's best to let go completely and to let their relationship run it's course. Whatever happens will happen, all I can do is focus on things that I can control and they are myself. It is safe to say that I know deep down she loves me because when i last saw her, it was a bit awkward but not as awkward as i thought it would be, I looked into her eyes and watched her while making that observation. So i decided then that she had to figure that on her own without me being there in her life. My ex said consistently over the past couple of months before our break up and even before her co worker came that "oh i feel that we'll break up once and then get back together in the future." I took it with a pinch of salt because things were going well (or so i thought) but now i realized that this may or may not be true. I'm not hoping for it, nor am i going to deny it if it came. I'm just gonna work on myself, my goals and my career.

hmm i wonder where bepositive is. my ex texted me yesterday saying hey i got my full driver's licence, not that you care anyways I know what she is doing and she wants to get a response out of me any way possible. Her bday is coming up in two days and half of my friends have told her to send her a text and the other half have told me to not send or do anything. Im still on the fence here, do any of you have good opinions?

hey steveandor, i know it's hard, i've been/going through this as well. All you can do is focus on yourself. I know it's easier said than done for some people. But you have to realize that things like this happen for a reason. This will make you stronger, better and in the future you may look back and appreciate this time because of the person it's going to make you. This is one of the toughest life lessons you will learn and once you overcome this obstacle you will be to get past anything. It's also wonderful that you're taking first hand measures to distance yourself from her and looking after yourself. Keep up the good work, we're all here for you How is everyone else doing today?

musicdee, after reading both the situations I think that you may have overreacted a bit. Not everybody falls in love at the same time. Some people can already feel like they are going to fall in love with somebody from the get go, while others take it day by day until it just hits em one day. I think you put your ex in a very sticky position by putting him on the spot and askign whether he loved you/will love you or not. You should have simply said "i hope one day you can," and let it be. This similar situations happened to one of my friends. The guy said I love you to his gf but she didnt say it back. But he didnt get too disheartened with it, he kept his chin up and eventually she did start loving him. Over time however, he broke up with her because he fell out of love and she took about 1.5 years to get over him. She was the one who was still in love with him after the break up. I think you lost a bit of your composure. As for him already dating somebody else, it may be a rebound as since his gf has similar interests as you, it may be a way to preoccupy his time. If you really want this guy, you have to learn to be patient, and i think that is one thing you aren't by reading your story. Also remember that he has never been in love so you cant question him for not knowing whether or not he is or isnt.

musicdee, he is doing two things. 1) Trying to get you jealous because he knows u check it. 2) Trying to prove to himself and to others that he is trying to move on. Let me tell you, my ex did the exact same thing. Even friends of my ex have told me that she is crazy for leaving me. Yea I had my faults but other couples use to look up to us since we were the 'ideal couple.' So much for that idea. I dont know your full story but if u can give me a short and simple version it may help to clarify. ---------- Thanks bepositive, let me know what your therapist says. This is a tricky and sticky situation, i really just want to ignore it but like i said i dont want to appear like the bad guy since she was the one doing all this crap.

hey you guys, im new on this site. I've been reading a lot of the stories you guys have posted. I've been NC for more than a month and i just wanted to ask a question. My ex's bday is coming up soon and i really dont know what to do. I dont want to seem like an * * * * * * * and i want to just send her a text wishing her a happy birthday. But i feel that I may be breaking NC and I dont want to take a step back in my recovery. A couple of my friends are on the fence on this one, because some said to ignore while some said to text. I dont want her to get the wrong impression of me or start to hate me.