kim42

I'm.okay with answering questions such as 'what are you looking for?', I think these are standard questions. I'm not the biggest fan of online dating and I prefer meeting men in real life but when I do use dating apps, I usually stick to a basic chat until we meet. And then on a first meet/date, I don't like getting too persomal either, especially if I don't know that guy. It's also a red flag for me if a guy overshares on a first date, I had a few experiences like this and I felt like a therapist!

I honestly don't see any negativity in my comment, it was just a statement - some of us have noticed this about you on this forum. I didn't say you shouldn't go on a second date or stop talking to him. As I said, I simply don't understand this sudden change about this guy but if you are up for a second date with him, I don't think anyone over here is trying to change your mind.

I have noticed this too that you tend to abruptly change your opinions on this forum, I remember you completely changed your opinion in one of my threads in a mattter of hours.

Sure, you can change your mind. I admit I don't quite understand going on a second date with someone that there was no attraction with (per your last thread) on the first date, and leaving after 30 minutes on top of that but that's just me. I'n honestly curious to see how you feel about him after the second date.

I agree with this, I'm sort of surprised you want to see him again after your long thread about everything that was wrong about him.

I think I never had a date with someone who would not be dressed nicely, then again I believe people in the US dress more casually in general than here in Europe. For me it's normal to put some effort to look good when going on a date, each man has a different style though so I don't really judge a man's style that much, then again I don't think someone would go on a date wearing gym clothes or something similar here. A friend of mine had a date with this man who apparently was dressed as if he was about to go hiking, and she didn't like it. I think I would have reacted the same way in this situation. As for your date, I think he was probably disappointeeld that you decided to leave after 30 minutes so that's why he asked for an explanation.

Thanks guys for your input, I realize that my hint might not have been as obvious as I thought. I agree it's best to let it unfold naturally and just see what happens (if something happens).

Just to clarify - he didn't say he would arrange the group meeting, he said I should join him and his team when they go out next time. But yeah, from my perspective the hint was obvious but based in some comments here, maybe not as much as I thought.

Thank you, I agree it's better to be direct than dropping hints. I think I was hesitant to be direct because we've seen each other only once. I'm also not very good in organizing group outings so it didn't even cross my mind.

I get it can be tricky with co-workers. Just to give some context - we have a very flexible policy in my company, we can work from home so people go to the office only from time to time, so it's not like we see each other every day. Also, our office is in a big building and we don't sit on the same floor.

That's interesting, I thought that in this context, that we both said we like the same type of wine, and then I mentioned the bar, it was obvious that I was hinting at going to that bar with him.

Yeah maybe but honestly I don't feel like investing any more energy in this. After I mentioned the bar, he just asked me which bar it is so I guess he's not interested in hanging out after work.

Update: So we've been messaging a little about non-work related things. He said he likes the same type of wine as me and I mentioned that I like this one bar close to our office. I hoped he would get the hint and ask me out for a drink but he didn't. He keeps the conversation going and asks questions but doesn't mention hanging out so I guess I'll just let it go.

I agree with this 100%. I'm also interested in the Yugoslavian wine 😁

I don't believe this guy only wants to make new friends, based on your description he's looking for a side chick. He probably told you about his gf because you would eventually find out yourself. I hobestly don't buy his excuse, and I think most women wouldn't like their boyfriend to dance and text another girl.