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Unreasonable

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Unreasonable last won the day on March 18 2014

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  1. Huh. Well I wouldn't worry about that too much. Blackmail is illegal and I think he knows enough about her real identity her to nail her if she tries. Not to mention I don't think 99% of people would give a hoot unless he was married.
  2. Well, you want the muscles to overcome the height. Something that is observable from the outside. So if you were focusing on a certain muscle, I would think it should be ones visible from the outside. That pretty much leaves the arms. Nobody can tell you're ripped under a shirt. Unless you take your shirt off, in which case an unbalanced musculature is going to look wierd. In either case I think it's a fool's errand. I think most women are looking for overall fitness, not buffness. Probably the first think you should try to get rid of is your gut, if you have one.
  3. I think its generally a good practice not to try to get with waitresses and other service workers if you're a customer.
  4. Well it appears that it was all ado about nothing. I texted her, twice, over a few days and she never got back to me. I'm not so upset that it didn't pan out, but I'm bothered that I'll never know why. Got all sorts of theories in my head. She seemed genuinely excited about it, almost to point of being giddy. It's not just me, my kids saw it too. Bizarre.
  5. Thanks all. I sent her a lighthearted fairly generic text without giving much away (other than hinting I have a job 😊) and letting her know I'd love to get to get to know her better and meet up with her sometime soon. We'll see how it goes, trying not to get my hopes up, which is a major problem with me. Thanks again.
  6. So I have been doing online dating for a couple months now (recently divorced), and I'm already burnt out of it. I went bowling tonight with my kids and started chit chatting a little bit with this attractive woman in the adjacent table. She had her (younger) kids there too. We didn't really say a lot of personally identifiable things to each other other than she subtly let it drop that she was a widow. So after some prodding from my daughter I mustered up enough courage to ask her for her number, and she gave it to me, pretty eagerly. (As an aside, you have NO idea HOW many things had to have happened for this to have occurred!) So we don't know really know anything about each other other than we find each other attractive and, our names, and that we have kids. I'm looking at this through the lens of online dating (Match) where you know an actually pretty good deal about the person before you say a thing to each other. Exact age, occupation, education level, basic politics and religion, etc. Obviously I don't want to unload all this on her at once, that just seems weird in an "organic" situation. And for god's sake I NOT want to go through an online-dating seeming process, it's awful!! But at the same time I don't really know what TO say. Keep in mind I was married for 28 years, and and back then there was no texting or anything like that and I have zero experience in this basically. I don't want to drop age real quickly, I imagine based of the younger age of her children and her appearance she's probably late 30's early 40's, and I'm 51 (but regularly get that I look up to 10 years younger than that). I did tell her that I have a 24 year old daughter, that wasn't there, so she can probably put 2 and 2 together and know I'm not a spring chicken. Anyway, help this old guy out here, this was only a few hours ago but I don't want to take too long getting back to her. 😂
  7. I get the societal pressure part, but I think a lot of it is self-imposed. For instance, my ex takes the best pictures for social medial. Knows all the best poses, uses tasteful, not obvious filters. But she does not look like her typical look. It's an idealized version of her. So she's got a bunch of people thinking she's the most gorgeous thing ever. I will admit, a thought that crosses my mind is, will people think I downgraded? Even though the prospect would be compared to an idealized version of my ex that is not even real? That's a ME problem though. I have to work through that. Because counting out a person I think is attractive because of that is just plain stupid.
  8. So the question is where would you two hang out? It's also difficult because if you're your parents primary caretaker, how can you be out overnight or on dates? It would probably be best to consider more homecare for them. If you have power of attorney, use their money and resources to provide them with round-the-clock excellent care. It may be a question of logistics as far as where to hang out and how much time you have as well as dealing with any "living with parents" type of stigma. Work on the logistics.
  9. Been a while since I've been on these forums. Aw you guys are so nice. 🙂
  10. Well, I've only done online dating for a month and a half or so but I feel I've been unusually successful (talked to several women and have gone on a few dates). I wouldn't play games as far as responding. The only thing I might not do is respond during work hours. And while I would not reply instantly, I otherwise I wouldn't put more than an hour gap in replying if there is no actual reason to. I think once you've fleshed out the major things on your profiles it's time to tell them you're interested in a meet. Probably within a few days of chatting.
  11. So I'm recently divorced, 51, lost the house, but I have no other financial obligations and make pretty good money. I'm living with my parents and don't pay rent. So I'm packing away a decent amount of money and probably can get my own place (buy) within a few years. My parents are elderly and have health problems and I can legitimately say that I am taking care of them. My dad is 92 and probably will pass soon. Mom has early stage dementia and is 77. So I really don't know what's going to happen there but currently it's working out well for all of us. Still, it seems a lot of women want a guy to have his own place, consider not having your own place not having your "*** together" (I have actually seen things to this effect on some profiles). And this also poses the problem that I would not likely invite her to my place except for social calls and to meet my parents, which is kind of awkward. How should I address this with a person I am talking to, and when?
  12. I am wondering since I am dating again if I should brush up on sports just so that it can be a topic of conversation at least. I'm not a big sports fan and probably won't ever want it to be a big part of my life but I can't help but feel insecure that this isn't "manly" even if a woman isn't really into sports herself. And she may be thinking how am I going to get along with other men in her life if I say I'm not into sports. Will most women judge me negatively if I am not into sports?
  13. You're not a pervert. Then again, some people are "judgy", jealous, insecure, have religious objections, and don't like pornography of any sort no matter what (it really doesn't matter why). So I wouldn't exactly showcase this if you're worried about that kind of thing. I personally would not be worried and if they were turned off, I'd view it somewhat of as a litmus test for compatibility.
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