Struggling in your Twenties? How to Find Direction in Life?

Dear eNotAlone: I'm in my 20s, and so stuck and alone. I can't talk to anyone, and I just feel weighed down by my own problems. Can you please help me understand where I am in life and help me learn how to move forward?

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When life throws us a curveball, we often find ourselves stuck in a rut of uncertainty. Nothing is more lonely and depressing than feeling lost in your twenties yet not having the right words or support to make sense of it all. Your twenties are expected to be a period of excitement, exploration and personal growth. But, sometimes life doesn't go the way that it's expected and it can be hard to shake off feelings of sadness and helplessness.

If you're feeling stuck in your twenties, it is important to understand where you've come from and identify why this season of transition may be hard for you. Consider writing out your thoughts and feelings as it can provide clarity, organization and a way out. Or speaking to someone close to you who can reassure you and provide validation and understanding.

Once you've identified the source or causes for the angst you may feel, it becomes easier to start asking "what now?" Too often in our twenties we expect to have the world figured out in the blink of an eye, but this is rarely the case. Reaching out to those in your circle, a professional or trusted adult can be helpful when discerning what direction to take in your life. Make sure to give yourself permission to take things slow. Don't feel pressure to have your entire future figured out.

Start by focusing on what you do have, rather than what you don't have. A common mistake during this difficult time is diving too quickly into projects and activities once you start to feel better. Start by setting small goals for yourself, like creating a work or school schedule that works for you, or breaking a large list of tasks into manageable steps. You can also try spending time with people who are positive about where your life is going, and talk through your anxieties and concerns. And, do something you enjoy and sets your heart free.

Focusing on all that we may not have yet can leave us feeling lost. At this point, it's essential to remember that not everything needs to be solved right away, nor will there be a quick solution. Instead, focus on progress. Reflecting on what has changed positively in your life, even if those changes are small, can help keep the focus on the potential growth and opportunities that lie ahead.

Remember, no matter how heavy life can seem, life keeps going and you have control over how you choose to play out each part. Take time to rest without feeling guilty - uncertainty is normal and expected. Allow yourself to feel the anxiety and other emotions, and respect yourself through it all. Even if the future feels foggy and unclear for now, remind yourself that it will unfold and reveal itself in due time.

Life in the twenties can be a roller coaster. What matters is that you don't give up and keep pushing through. Navigate the ups and downs with care and compassion for yourself, and you will eventually find your path. Reach out for help if needed. With a little effort, you can overcome this period of confusion and transition with newfound confidence and meaningful direction in your life.