the dude91
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Day 52 Well, officially moved into my new house now. Still have a couple of things to put away but not much, I at least have the tv and stuff setup. But sadly the ex is heavy on my mind, I was originally getting this house as a surprise for her. So now I'm here, more or less by myself. I'm kind of regretting following through on this house now because it's just bringing up memories of her, but while unpacking and sorting stuff I came accross one of the first pictures we had taken and had developed. I threw it away, a part of me really wanted to save it but I felt like it was because I was still holding onto that little thread of hope that she'd come back. So I had to throw it away to remind myself that there is no going back and that she was not coming back so I need to continue to move on. Not sure why it's taking me so long to do that, at one point I felt like I was there and now, it seems like I took two steps forward and 3 steps back.
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Day 49 It was her moms birthday a few days ago, I felt really bad about not telling her mother happy birthday. At one point it seemed like her mother really liked me unless asking me to give her grandkids means nothing these days. But I didn't allow myself to say or do anything, just had to let it go and keep moving forward. I'm no longer apart of that family anymore, right? I having a hard time understanding why lately the ex has been so heavy on my mind, I mean almost 50 days of NC and theoretically doing all of the right things is supposed to make that go away, right? Maybe it just takes a bit longer to forget about being with someone for 5 years, either that or she's doing all of the right things and I'm doing all of the wrong things. Seems like alcohol and a rebound was the cure for her. Well all I can do is keep moving forward and hope for the best.
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Day 41 Can't believe I made it this far. This is the longest time by far that my ex and I haven't talked in over 5 years. But oh well, that chapter is done and over with. But even still, she's been heavy on my mind lately. I think it's because I've starting working a bit more directly with one of her best friends now so I'm getting memories and reminders pretty often now though I try to keep the subject of the ex off limits. But even still, tidbits of information leaks out and it makes me feel a bit bad for the ex, it seems like whenever we break up her life takes a turn for the worse. But oh well I suppose, she's no longer my problem and I have to keep reminding myself of that. But at least now I know for sure I'll make my 90 days of NC, hopefully by then I'll feel much better.
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Day 36 Can't believe I've gone 36 Days of NC, makes me actually believe I'll make it to 90 days. Unfortunately lately though the ex has been heavy on my mind, I can't wait for this time to pass. Otherwise things have been going great and I'm made huge progress and strides in my life. It just seems weird that I'm theoretically doing everything right and she's still on my mind and yet it appears that I've vanished from hers. But I guess that just goes to show that no matter how time you spend together or how much happiness there appeared to be all it takes is a month to move on for some. Oh well, I've been going on dates and have them lined up with multiple women, hopefully one of them will be worth my time and sharing my new house with.
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This exactly mate, my ex did contact me and asked if we could be friends 34 days ago now, of course I said no because that just wasn't something I was looking for from her at the time. Now we're just moving on from each other, there is no going back to what we had nor will there be a chance in **** that I'll just be friends with her. You guys just have to be strong and stick to your convictions, whether it affects them or not doesn't matter, what matters is getting yourself back together and remembering who you were before your S.O. It's hard to see at first but once you get to that point a light bulb will go off for sure, and working out definitely does help a lot.
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Day 31 Well I forgot to post on my 30th day but oh well. I'll definitely still be around though since I now work directly with my ex's best friend for what could be for a few weeks to a few months. I really hated the fact that she brought up my ex to me though it felt like bittersweet hearing that the ex is doing good. Though I doubt as good as I am, I mean how many people can say that they're a home owner at the age of 23? And a of a 6 bed and 3 bath house no less? It'll suck pretty much being there by myself but that's only temporary until I find someone worth my time. I have faith I'll find that someone in due time, just have to continue to be patient and concentrate on the rest of my goals. I still feel strong and I know I don't need the ex to be happy, I just miss her at times when I'm with another woman still except when I'm with one woman in particular, but that most likely won't be going anywhere. Oh well, keep moving forward guys, don't give in or give up, NC is for you to move on and be in control again for sure. You will see the happiness more clearly in the end.
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Day 29 Just one more day and I'll be at 30 days of NC and it's pretty exciting. I never thought I'd make it this far though August 3rd was really really tough. It's the anniversary of one of my brothers passing and I always spend it with the ex, so this was the first year I spent it alone and it really sucked. But I made it through the day and now I'm okay again. Women still seem to be chasing me left and right which feels good. Anyways, keep at it guys, it'll come faster than you'll realize and it'll really feel great in the end. I'll continue posting until my 90 days like my original plan was. They is staying busy and making some good life changes like everybody else says.
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Day 26 Jeez I've been gone for quite some time. Been really busy, talking to lots of females and got myself in a bit a pickle. I still think of the ex from time to time but I really don't feel anything towards her anymore. But now for my pickle, I had been seeing this woman who turns out to be married... to another woman... Now her I can't stop thinking about, I need to remove myself from that situation onto someone else even if the signs I'm reading from her could be true and the marriage wouldn't last. But anyways, no word from the ex since I had to tell her again there was no way we could just be friends, I'm guessing that'll be the last time I'll hear from her but honestly, at this point I don't really care anymore. I'm having a blast with life, I just got my house and soon my motorcycle. Plus I'm being chased by women left and right these days, kinda reminds me of my old days. Stay strong guys, you'll get there.
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Day 19 Man I got a lot of stuff done today, plus it being payday was pretty great. Everything had been going great until the down time. A little before I finally got to sit down I was cleaning out one my cars, my work car, and found a hand written note from her. It was from when she brought me lunch to work once and on the note it said "To my amazing husband." After reading that I broke down and cried pretty hard for the first time in months, it really sucked. Still not quite sure how someone could go from loving you that much to being with another man and doing a 180 in your lifestyle in a month? Well I guess this that step back today, time to make two steps forward tomorrow. You can do it man, you're strong enough!
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Day 10 Kinda a rough day, looks like the new bike isn't going to happen because the dealer was getting greedy. But oh well I suppose, for the moment I'm still getting a house. But I'm pretty exhausted, I haven't been able to sleep much lately either. Hopefully I'll start sleeping good again soon.
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Day 9 Still feeling the same as yesterday, excitement about my new bike I'm getting and my house I'm getting but a little down since I really have nobody intimate to share them with. But I'm still moving on, still wish I could do it as fast as she did.
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Day8 I kept forgetting to post on here, oh well. Anyways life keeps getting better and better. I'm getting the new Ducati 899 motorcycle AND I'm going to be a homeowner in September. But it's all a bittersweet because I had been working on getting this house as a surprise for my ex so now I'll be sitting in this house by myself for the time being. Still it's pretty exciting to be a homeowner and I can't wait to find someone worthy of my time that I can share these things with. But life keeps going on and it looks like her rebound relationship isn't really a rebound after all so I'm wishing the best for her while I'm waiting for someone better. I am man! I found some new protein shakes that seem pretty good, 40g per bottle so I've been downing those after every workout.
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Day 2 For some reason I forgot to post yesterday, oh well. Anyways its been a tough couple of days mostly due to work. I mean, really tough and my body is aching. But I'm still feeling pretty good even after that break in NC, I feel pretty at peace although things with the girl I was taking things slow with wasn't going to work out, I guess I'm still not ready for a relationship because there were some things about her that I couldn't get passed and kept comparing her to my ex in my mind. I figured it wasn't fair nor the right time for the girl so decided to stay friends for now until I've moved on a little bit more. I'm feeling like I'm already pretty close to being moved on though, it's just little things that serve of reminders of memories. I think I'm missing the memories more than I miss the ex now.
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Well unfortunately broke NC AGAIN but it was to reiterate to her that we would never just be friends and to stop asking about it. She did also ask to "catch up" and I just asked why it was now all of sudden she wanted to catch up and she gave me some bs reasons. But whatever, I'm on the road of moving on and I'm feeling pretty good although I am annoyed that she keeps thinking she can have me as a friend. But here's to starting back at day 1 again tomorrow and a fresh start on a new relationship I'm taking very slowly although I'm unsure how long it'll last. There's a pretty hefty grammatical barrier between us that I'm hoping will improve.
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Day 24 Pretty okay day, just felt a bit drained. I had been extremely busy during my 3 day weekend so I didn't get too much rest so I was lagging a bit at work today. Luckily it was an easy day, also a girl that I had known for years and had been talking to a little more seriously for about a month now and I have decided to take things slow and see where things go. It'll be interesting to actually date and have a commitment with someone else for the first time in over 5 years.