Tell me.. I'm all messed up..

[devast]

Aaaaarrrrggghhhh... All the posts i did about getting stronger and healing suggested otherwise with this... Or... is it?

 

Well, I just sent her an email telling her How sad I am to think she chose to work-out forgetting about us and everything we had rather than working-out our differences...

 

Well I know it will not matter to her... I told her this in the email too.. I also told her I just don't have a choice but to move on and forget about us too...

 

I told her I know I will see the light one day coz I am pretty sure Time heals wounds..

 

The letter was just for me to take it off my chest though I know it won't matter or she may not read it...Just something for me to get a closure fast.. To admit to myself she's not really coming back after this letter..If I don't hear anymore from her...Like I don't I want to hear from her.. (Confusing HuH, pls. bear with me)

 

And It also occurred to me that she might mess up with what she's doing... Going out late... She is not used to this lifestyle.. She have less experience with this lifestyle..She's a late bloomer with being in a "material world" something like that.. I am just worried... And am definitely afraid to hear her cry because someone would just play on her...

 

I know she's none of my business anymore... I just thought if I just tell her this she will realize the risk of what she's doing... Coz she's the kind who "don't like being told".. But in the end she's still does what she's told especially if it was really a good thing for her... She just don't want to think that what she's doing was not really her idea... But anyway even if she don't listen to it right now she will realize it later...

 

I am just warning her on that email too... But I am not expecting her to respond or come right back to me.. If she don't come back I just hope she doesn't mess up in the end just to realize that what she's doing now is not helping her...

 

But guys I tried my best not to use loud words... Vulgar words that might annoy her...I tried to use wholesome words... used my experience on the "material world"... Anyway i think it will not upset her very much..

 

And I felt better for myself after doing that.. It released some loads inside my heart...Though I am a little worried she may really not coma back to me...

 

Anyway this time that I have told her that already... I am starting my NC... All over again... But this time.. "strictly"... Only during emergencies...

 

Oh man... Tell me "I messed up" and now I really don't have to hope she's ever coming back..

[melrich]

I haven't read your back story but I thinknow you have sent this email and got it off your chest you have to just leave it alone. You have said what you needed to say, she's and adult it is up to her now to make her choices in life.