Unnecessary guilt???

[babybear]

My boyfriend of two years broke up with me six months ago. We remained in close contact and over these 6months had been meeting up and being intimate. Then I found out he had been getting close to an ex of his, meeting up, admitted they liked each other, but had not yet kissed or done anything. I told this ex when I found out that he’d been sleeping with me and my ex broke it off with her anyway cause he was mortified he’d hurt me so much. Then last night I kissed a guy for the first time and I feel so much horrible guilt. My ex had been all affectionate with me after i found out he had liked his ex and had been trying to make it up to me and so I just feel terrible. I know this meaningless pull is going to destroy any hope of even being friends for the future. I don’t know what to do, whether or not to tell him and face the consequences of losing him.

[MrSparky]

BabyBear,

 

If you guys aren't in a relationship then, although I can understand your guilt, I'd just forget about it. Tell him if you feel necessary, but you have to decide if your Ex is the future or the past. If he's the past, talk to him and explain you care about him very much and want to remain friends and that's extremely important to you - but you want to move on now, it's been long enough.

 

If, however, he's the future, then you have to tell him - because you'll never forget it otherwise. Plus, you need to solidify something, otherwise you're both going to be in two places at once, not healthy for either of you Don't feel guilty, you're not married or going out with him!

[friscodj]

If this situation does not clearly support a need for some true distance between you guys and time away from each other, I don't know what does.

 

You are exactly right when you say the path you are headed down is one that will preclude a true friendship in the future. The things you describe here are not healthy feelings or behaviors...guilt, jealousy, possessiveness, all misguided...

 

I think it's high time you both faced the reality that you are "broken up" by doing some real "breaking up", getting to healthier emotional places and ones of better perspective before getting back into each other's lives.

 

As it stands now, you guys are never going to get anywhere productive with anyone..including yourselves.