Need help with a friend

[LastRonin]

Ok...here we go

 

I have this friend, me and her spent some time at the beach as a kinda of a family outing for a week...I was invited by one of her famliy members who is a real good friend of mine. Over a weeks time me and her flirtted back and forth all week. and when we got back i got her number and e-amil address. I admit that i was and still am a little attracted to her but she is a few years younger then me so i was going to waite a few years before i said anything but in the meantime i was just going to try and be to a good friend...sounds good in theroy right

 

But i noticed after just a week or two she stoped calling me...but when i called her she seemed like she wanted to talk....so i kept calling her. But anything that i would ask her to do, like going to a car show with friends or go shoot pool with friends.( i was always careful to invite other people so she wouldnt think it was a date or anything) she would make up some reason at the last minute why she could not go...which screwed up alot of my plans. there was even a few times she would say that she didnt feel like going to me one time and 5 min later say yes to my friend going to the samething.

 

So I ask my buddy what was up with her. He said that she kinda guessed that i liked her and becuse in her words there was nothing there she didnt want to hang out with me so much becuse she is afriad that i would get mad....well i am angry. I'm very upset that she was ignoring me becuse she thought that i was really in to her...which is not true. What upets me is that she didnt have enough respect to tell me what the problem was and insted of talking to me about it she lie to me about things

 

so hears my Q 1) I do like hanging out and taliking to her but all my friends are very loyal to me and i'm loyal to them. So is this friendship worth trying to save or do i just throw it away. 2) how do i go about telling her...do i lay it down harshly or do i try and suger coat it.

 

Thanks for you input

LastRonin

[Alien777]

First of all let me say that u have got a good theory by first becoming friends with someone and then let things progress from there.

I am not sure whether this friend knows your hidden agenda or not. She might think that u like her as a friend but it seems as if she thinks that its more than a friend. Could this be because you have not made it clear that friends is all u wish to be or is she simply making an assumption?

Let me explain something here. I understand the fact that u are angry because u feel that she did not have the respect to tell u that she only wanted to be friends...well women dont do that mate.

Even though they (for example) realise that you really like them (more than a friend) they are not going to phone u up 1 day or talk to u and say: "Listen I know u dig me more than a friend but I dont dig u like that so before u waste any more of your time trying to be friends lets call it quits", they will try to compromise. They will want to offer u something at least because they do think that u are really nice etc. Its sounds to me like you might need to catch the hint and try to leave with your dignity intact.

To answer both your questions: I think both the answers are entirely up to you and they depend on how u feel.

0X

[White Rider]

hey there

im no that great adviser, but i can say that i have kinda of the same experince with a girl, she thought that i liked her an instead of telling me she started ignoring me in a discusting way, i admit that it feels like shit

ur friends are loyal to u, so u r loyal to them , if u want my advise dont let anything change that, there is nothing worth losing a true friend

about her, naybe u should face her, tell her that she is mistaken , and that what she did is wrong, or just let it go, its obvious she isnt intersted, she doesnt worth the pain

best wishs