we broke up but must work together

[adidas7fire]

Hi.. my fiance and I were together for 2.5 years. After a nasty breakup on Tuesday, I thought I was going to die. I had given this guy everything, including my heart but he felt as though he needed to figure himself out before settling down. After talking to many people about my situation, everyone told me to be strong and all that... and act as if it doesn't bother me. The hard part is that we work at the same job and we can't help but trying to get along but for both of us, it's extremely hard and awkward. He's in a band and they are very successful right now and I used to talk to him about it and its success but what do I exactly talk to him about? How do you start a conversation with someone you've been with for so long and know everything about? How do I get my focus off him while at work? Why is it easier for me to stay friends and have that door open but he can't do that? Please, any advice would help. Thanks.

[Lance]

Why don't you start with HI. You can't go wrong with that. Then ask him what he has been up to and take it from there. But what ever you do, don't seem desperate to get him back. Try to find out how he feels without giving away to much about how you feel. At work try to do as much work as possible. It will keep you busy and keep your mind off of him. There will be times that he will cross your mind though. Working more will also pass the time faster.

[adidas7fire]

well, i have tried very hard to be just casual with conversation but it's extremely difficult to not wonder what he's thinking. i have talked to my coworkers (because it's mainly girls my age) and they tell me to keep myself busy. But it almost makes me want to cry when he walks out the door or doesn't ask for my help on things anymore but day by day I have overcome that want feeling. The one good piece of info that I have heard from many people is that he doesn't plan to date anyone for a long time... and honestly, neither do I. Classes will be starting in a week but I dread the one class that we have together. I'm cool with being friends but he's acting the jerk when it comes to trying to be nice... maybe it's his way of dealing with the loss (me) or something? Maybe guys are just like that.. instead of crying they act like they really don't care. I refuse to believe that he doesn't care about me, especially since we were to be married after graduation. What do you think about all this?

[Goldie]

I really feel sorry for you. It's easier to get over someone if they're not in your face all the time.

 

But you must consider this an opportunity to become a stronger person.

 

I've been in a similar situation and it breaks your heart to see them act cold with you.. And that they don't do the same things they did before.

 

But what you must do is be strong and be brave and make sure you go into work everyday looking and feeling fabulous. And when you do see him throw him a killer smile and just strike up a casual conversation.

 

If he's not making the same effort then just cool it off a little and give it time. When he's ready he will come and talk to you.

 

And in time you can be friends again.

 

In the meantime, try not to discuss the problem any further with your work mates. Try and talk about it to friends you know out of work hours.

 

Just keep your chin up and keep smiling. If it makes you feel any better.. It's working for me. And I haven't lost my ex entirely as it looks like we're becoming friends again. Yeahhh! (Wish it was more but hey.. Nevermind)

 

Hugs, G xxxx