Looking at girls

[now_better]

Super shy guy in the house. Background: my g/f broke up w/ me after we were together for 5 yrs recently and I've never asked a girl out before (had the fortune of 1-2 girls asking me out, but never had a relationship other than the one w/ my g/f).

 

Anyways, I've always felt uncomfortable looking at girls especially if they're really cute. I think my shyness comes partially from being teased throughout public school (mostly elementary school) and I think I have a general phobia of people hehe. I guess I tend to put women on a pedestal in general rather than looking at them as another person. I think I'm also partially afraid that they'll look back at me if I look at them, I just get timid. I think I'm getting better at being able to hold eye contact with girls, but it's a slow process overcoming your fears in life. Also, I like to look at girl's faces. A nice body can look hot, but the face is probably 99% of the physical appeal for me. Just wondering, do other people feel the same way as I do?

[bhzmafia]

I feel the same. When you have time, go to the mall and just walk around, holding eye contact with girls that walk past (keep a small smile on your face and try to look confident). Dont worry about what they think - you dont know them, and will probably never see them again. Once you get used to that, start saying hi to them as they walk past.

 

Small steps =)

[shamus]

if you want an even smaller step that really helped me wheni was younger....

 

go to a mall, bookstore, etc and strike up conversations with unattractive females. just general stuff...you'll get used to approaching women and talking to them, then you can gradually step up to average looking girls that you think are ok. then move on to attractive girls.

 

it makes you more used to talking to women in general and will hone your conversation skills with women.

[bhzmafia]

I think just maintaining eye contact with girls is a smaller step than striking up conversations with them...

[sumguy]

It's cliche advice, Fine a topic in common, ask her opinion on it, just keep listening and asking questions in response, occasionally say something witty/intelligent, rinse and repeat with a new topic.

 

Once you break the ice with that, I'm sure you'll find conversation becomes easier. =)

[atraceofblood]

how do you keep a smile while maintaining eye contact? I always find myself making eye contact with lots of girls that I find attractive, but I have the hardest making direct smiles at them, but after they pass by when they aren't looking my face makes an attempt to automatically smile! LOL

[Markers]

how do you keep a smile while maintaining eye contact? I always find myself making eye contact with lots of girls that I find attractive, but I have the hardest making direct smiles at them, but after they pass by when they aren't looking my face makes an attempt to automatically smile! LOL

 

think of something that makes you crack.. you won't crack there though, because you're a bit nervous (and that prevents you from smiling in the first place)... you just smile.

 

Or you could smile with your eyes. A HUGE part of your expression comes from corner of your eyes and corner of your mouth. You don't need a huge smile to look smiling or happy.. just bit of smile in corners of your mouth and eyes looks often really good. Practice in front of mirror if you can't do it.

[Dating Coach]

now better,

 

Try the first link in my sig. It should help you increase your knowledge some on what you should and should not do during dating and courting.

[Kevin T]

Diggity gives GOOD advice.

[atraceofblood]

think of something that makes you crack.. you won't crack there though, because you're a bit nervous (and that prevents you from smiling in the first place)... you just smile.

 

Or you could smile with your eyes. A HUGE part of your expression comes from corner of your eyes and corner of your mouth. You don't need a huge smile to look smiling or happy.. just bit of smile in corners of your mouth and eyes looks often really good. Practice in front of mirror if you can't do it.

 

I guess I am too worried about their actions if I were to smile. Like I'm afraid they might not smile back or whatever. I've usually waited until they smiled, then I smiled.