She's Everything and More

[_Moonstruck_]

I'm in love with my best friend. Well, I wouldn't exactly call it love but I have extremely strong feelings for her. Yes, her, and I'm a girl.

 

Lately I've been wondering about my sexuality. I don't even know why I said I was straight in one of the last threads I posted, I just really thought I was...But now I'm not so sure...Actually, girls have always caught my eyes a little more often than guys. I can't even recall a dream about a guy I had where we extremly passionate with each other, not to say that all girls have that, I just remember the dreams with girls, and let me tell you, they were GREAT.

 

So anyways, moving away from my female fantasies, I have a humongous crush on my friend who, coincidentaly, is bisexual. She's about a year older than me and we've known each other for a fair amount of time (4 years). The first few years I met her she was a complete friend, I had no feeling for her whatsoever...but all that changed this year...Lately I can't even seem to talk to her in person without thinking how beautiful she is and how much I want her. Phone conversations always go smoothly but whenever we're actually around each other I completely lose myself in her. I'm not saying we can't carry on a conversation, it's just...different. Everyone knows the feelings when being around their crush, stomach flops, butterflies, nervousness, ect. It's exactly that.

 

The thing is since she's bi she still will talk about the decent hot guy here and there, and occasionally I'll be there with her (I DO like guys too) ...But everyone time she talks about them I get sad and depressed thinking "What am I getting myself into?? She'd never like me, I'm a chick and not nearly as hot as some of those guys" It just gets me everytime...I hate it so much...I've always thought about having a bisexula expirience with her, but then again, I don't even know if I'm bi let alone gay or straight or anything else out there lol.

 

Sometimes we'll just kind of play flirt with each other back and forth, saying how we want each other or, oh we should have sex, blah blah blah...The list is long, believe me. That throws me off too, if she likes me like I like her, it also just makes me want her more which adds bigger problems lol.

 

I'm thinking I need to expiriment some and find out but I just don't know! I'm too afraid of what people will say..and what SHE will say. I don't know her feelings for me but I'm clear on what I feel for her...somebody help me with this mess...](*,)

[lil_kaila]

I read your post and one thing that I didn't read is wether your best friend knows that you are bisexual too. Or actually... does she know that you are questioning your sexuality?

 

What exactly do you want to happen? Do you really really want to be with her? Like you said, you are afraid of what people will think, so the question is: What if she like you too? Are you willing to come out and have a relationship with her? Or maybe you just want to experiment and hook up with her? That's fine too!

If the answer to any of these questions is 'yes' then your best bet is to talk to her about your feelings. Not your feelings for her, just that you are questioning your sexuality and that you think you are bisexual too. And keep on flirting with her a little bit.... if she keeps flirting back see where it goes from there. If she flirts back and you think she might like you too then maybe you can tell her you like her. Or try joking around and say stuff like: "Okay, so now that we're both bi, maybe we should hook up together or be girlfriends"

 

I hope whatever you want works out!

[Hyperia81]

Hey hun,

I think you should casually tell her that you

have an attraction to women aswell as men. She most likely

doesnt know that you have the feelings you have.

Once she knows that maybe the flirting will get more intense and lead to

more risky business hehe

 

Goodluck hun,

 

Hyperia

[_Moonstruck_]

This girl doesn't know I'm bi and/or question my sexuality. I've never even thought of telling her....To expirement would be fine for me, I just couldn't see myself in a commited relationship with her...Although maybe if I come out to her about this things will change, or get more intense and lead to further things as hyperia said. Flirting leading to other things is good with me, maybe I'll give it a go. Wish me luck!

[xoxevanescencexox]

Well you know there are some fake people that say there bi but there really not...

They just say tat crap..when its not true

But do you know for sure she is bi...? or just saying it

And get the guts to tell er your bi/les just start a convo. about something...

[Deviant_Kate]

This girl doesn't know I'm bi and/or question my sexuality. I've never even thought of telling her....To expirement would be fine for me, I just couldn't see myself in a commited relationship with her.

 

 

 

If you don't want to be in a real relationship with her, is it really worth it to you to risk a friendship just to experiment?

[_Moonstruck_]

If you don't want to be in a real relationship with her, is it really worth it to you to risk a friendship just to experiment?

 

Well, when I said expirement I meant just to see what it's like (obviously) but not necassarily with her. Maybe I could make the choice to expirement with someone else and if I'm into it then see how it goes with her. Thanks for pointing that out though, it really would be risky to do that and risk our friendship...And one more thing...Girls joke around with each other all the time saying things like "Oh I love you , ect." and I've even known a few straights to get pretty intimate with their jokes...so how can I define the line between flirting and just kidding around? It seems to me this girl is definetly doing more than joking around but how can I REALLY be sure? Anyone have any past experiences they'd like to share just go ahead, I'm very confused with this matter.

[Deviant_Kate]

Girls joke around with each other all the time saying things like "Oh I love you , ect." and I've even known a few straights to get pretty intimate with their jokes...so how can I define the line between flirting and just kidding around? It seems to me this girl is definetly doing more than joking around but how can I REALLY be sure? Anyone have any past experiences they'd like to share just go ahead, I'm very confused with this matter.

 

The way she's joking around, I would bet money that she's genuinely interested in you.

 

Story Time: I had a friend who would hold my hand or put her arm around me when we were shopping, and she would joke that I was her "friend-girl" (to give context: the guy she was seeing and fooling around with at the time was her "friend-boy" because they were involved, but he wasn't technically her boyfriend since they weren't exclusive). It was really frustrating for me, because I was genuinely attracted to her and I couldn't tell if she was just kidding around. Then at a party on the beach one night, she said "you're the first person I've told, but I'm bisexual." - and she ended up initiating some making out on the beach (only one of a few very intimate encounters she initiated over the course of the next few weeks). She was confused about what kind of relationship she wanted, but she was definitely attracted to me, and she wasn't nearly as bold as your friend when we were in the joking/flirting stage - If your friend is joking that she wants you and that you should sleep together, she undoubtedly means it on some very real level.

[xoxevanescencexox]

All I can say is read her body language, when shes joking/flirting see if you can tell the diffrence. But on the rest lission 2 Deviant_Kate She seems to know what she talkin about