is this breaking NC?

[anabanana]

my husband moved out about 3 weeks ago and i haven't spoken to him since. we had agreed to be separated and work towards something positive. i got a letter from him a week later saying he wanted to break up, that he didn't miss me, and had no hope for our future.

 

i have been implementing NC, and it has been going well. it hurts like hell, and i miss him, and it's confusing because his actions haven't backed up his words. he hasn't come to pick up his stuff (and he left alot of stuff), he hasn't cut me off his health insurance, he hasn't filed any paperwork, he hasn't done a change of address form... i mean, he hasn't even changed his status to "single" on friendster. so it's confusing.

 

i am leaving the city for about 10 days on saturday. i will be going to california, where we lived for 2 years. when we moved back east, he left alot of his records at my friend's house. i know he would really love to get those records, so i was thinking of mailing them to his parent's house (not his apartment) when i am out there. would that be a bad idea? should i just leave it alone?

 

i am trying to work on forgiveness, and i don't want to start acting in a bitter way. this is something i would do for him as a friend... but do you think it might violate the whole "i need space" thing?

[Bethany]

Why don't you write him a letter back and tell him you're leaving town and it would be a good time to come around and pick up his stuff?

[settinuplife]

Well there is really nothing you can do to change his mind at this point but doing NC. I'm willing to bet though in a few more weeks he will probably want to wrap things up with his belongings, and then you will know for sure if he's serious about moving on or not. It sounds like he doesn't think it's that important to change his profile, pick up his stuff, etc. yet and he's probably just not concerned with that stuff right now, and maybe is still thinking about what he really wants to do.

 

As for mailing his records back to him? Well, are you just doing this to get him to thank you or talk to you? Maybe not a good idea, but it could work in your favor by getting him to think you want to get rid of his stuff out of your life. Maybe you should do that with his stuff at your place, just move it to his parents house (if they dont mind). May get him to think "wow, she's getting over me too."

 

But like I said in the beginning, I think he's still trying to decide 100% what he wants to do.